[anonymous]

Salamu alaykum,
dont want to add to your burden but i seriously need advice. How do you feel indulging in food and drinking while you know that your neighbor who is poor(and we're all poor to Allah) asks you for sadaqa, do you just ignore it and enjoy your meal without a feeling of sympathy ?! well what happened is that some of my family members are- May Allah protect and guide us all-very irritative when it comes to giving the poor their basic rights. Today what happened was very terrible; my mother has yelled at our poor neighbor and asked them not to ever come and ask for charity.!!!! i feel so terrible, because i knew it irritated my mother but yet i gave them charity and today she was just fed up and wanted a final solution for the charity donations, although we are economically wealthy. the worse thing is i fear that we will be from amongst the accursed and deprived from Allah's blessings if we were to never reach out and contribute in Sadaqa. its probably all my fault because i should have been more cautious and gave Sadaqa secretly but i was foolish and stuborn and now this is the terrible outcome. Please give me advice and Make Du'aa for all the poor, and we are all to Allah poor.

 

[ardianto]

If my neighbor is a poor old person who is not able to work again, I will give him/her food everyday. If my neighbor is a poor orphan kids, I will feed him/her and pay his/her study to cost to make him/her get a better future.

However if my neighbor is poor person but able or strong enough to work, I will not give him/her charity. If him/her want to get my money, he/she must work for me, then I pay.

Anon, let me know how your poor neighbor is ?, old person ?, orphan kid ?, or a person who strong enough to work ?.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Salamu alaykum,
dont want to add to your burden but i seriously need advice. How do you feel indulging in food and drinking while you know that your neighbor who is poor(and we're all poor to Allah) asks you for sadaqa, do you just ignore it and enjoy your meal without a feeling of sympathy ?! well what happened is that some of my family members are- May Allah protect and guide us all-very irritative when it comes to giving the poor their basic rights. Today what happened was very terrible; my mother has yelled at our poor neighbor and asked them not to ever come and ask for charity.!!!! i feel so terrible, because i knew it irritated my mother but yet i gave them charity and today she was just fed up and wanted a final solution for the charity donations, although we are economically wealthy. the worse thing is i fear that we will be from amongst the accursed and deprived from Allah's blessings if we were to never reach out and contribute in Sadaqa. its probably all my fault because i should have been more cautious and gave Sadaqa secretly but i was foolish and stuborn and now this is the terrible outcome. Please give me advice and Make Du'aa for all the poor, and we are all to Allah poor.

The Glorious Qur’an says that we should love and help our neighbours. The Qur’an says in Surah Ma’un, Ch. No. 107, Verses 1 to 7:

“Have you seen the one who denies the Recompense ? For that is the one who drives away the orphan. And does not encourage the feeding of the poor. So woe to those who pray (but) who are heedless of their prayer. Those who make show (of their deeds). And withhold (simple neighbourly) assistance.”

60. The person who shuts his door against his neighbour

111. Ibn 'Umar said, "There was a time when no one was more entitled to a person's money than his Muslim brother. Now people love their dirhams and dinars more than their Muslim brother. I heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'How many a neighbour will be brought together with his neighbour on the Day of Rising! He will say, "Lord, this man closed his door to me and refused to show me common kindness!"'"

61. A person should not eat his fill without seeing to his neighbour

112. Ibn 'Abbas told Ibn az-Zubayr, "I heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'A man is not a believer who fills his stomach while his neighbour is hungry.'"

62. When there is a lot of stew, it is divided between the neighbours

113. It is reported that Abu Dharr said, "My dear friend, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, enjoined three things on me: 'Hear and obey, even if the ruler is a slave with his limbs amputated. When you cook a stew, put a lot of water in it and then go and see the people of a neighbouring house and give them a reasonable amount of it. Pray the prayers at their proper prayers. Then if you find that the imam has already prayed, you have guarded your prayer (by already having performed it). If not, it is a supererogatory prayer (since you have done it again)."

114. Abu Dharr reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Abu Dharr! If you cook some stew, make a lot of it and fulfil your duty to your neighbours (or divide it among your neighbours)."


Read the rest of the chapter on how Muslims treat their neighbours and print it so that you can show it to your parents:


Neighbours

55. The recommendation to be kind to neighbours

101. 'A'isha reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Jibril, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, kept on recommending that I treat neighbours well until I thought that he would order me to treat them as my heirs."

102. Abu Shurayh al-Khuza'i reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day should be good to his neighbours. Anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day should be generous to his guest. Anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day should be say what is good or be silent."

56. The neighbour's due

103. Al-Miqdad ibn al-Aswad reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, asked his Companions about fornication and they said, "It is unlawful. Allah and His Messenger have made it unlawful." He said, "It is less serious for a man to fornicate with ten women than for him to fornicate with his neighbour's wife." Then he asked them about stealing. They replied, "It is unlawful. Allah and His Messenger have made it unlawful." He said, "It is less serious for a man to steal from ten houses than it is for him to steal from his neighbour's house."

57. Begin with the neighbour

104. Ibn 'Umar reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Jibril kept on recommending that I treat my neighbours well until I thought that he would order me to treat them as my heirs."

105. Mujahid reported that a sheep was slaughtered for 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr. He asked his slave, 'Have you given any to our Jewish neighbour? Have you given any to our Jewish neighbour? I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'Jibril kept on recommending that I treat my neighbours well until I thought that he would order me to treat them as my heirs.'"


58. You give to the neighbour whose door is the nearest to you

107. 'A'isha said, "I said, 'Messenger of Allah, I have two neighbours. To whom should I give my gifts?' He replied, 'To the one whose door is nearer to you.'"


59. The nearest and then next nearest neighbour

109. Al-Hasan was asked about the neighbour and said, "The term 'neighbour' includes the forty houses in front a person, the forty houses behind him, the forty houses on his right and the forty houses on his left."

110. Abu Hurayra said, "Do not begin with your more distant neighbours before the closer ones. Rather begin with your nearest neighbours before the most distant ones."


63. The best neighbour

115. 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'As reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The best of companions in the sight of Allah Almighty is the best of them towards his companion, and the best of neighbours in the sight of Allah is the best of them towards his neighbour."

64. The righteous neighbour

116. Nafi' ibn 'Abdu'l-Harith reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Part of the happiness of the Muslim man includes a spacious dwelling, righteous neighbour and a good mount"

65. The bad neighbour

117. Abu Hurayra said, "Part of the supplication of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was, "Oh Allah, I seek refuge with you from an evil neighbour in the Eternal World. A neighbour in this world can be changed.

118. Abu Musa reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The Final Hour will not come until a man kills his neighbour, his brother and his father."

66. A person should not injure his neighbour

119. Abu Hurayra said, "The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was asked, 'Messenger of Allah! A certain woman prays in the night, fasts in the day, acts and gives sadaqa, but injures her neighbours with her tongue.' The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, 'There is no good in her. She is one of the people of the Fire.' They said, 'Another woman prays the prescribed prayers and gives bits of curd as sadaqa and does not injure anyone.' The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, 'She is one of the people of the Garden.'"


120. 'Umara ibn Ghurab reported that an aunt of his told him that she asked 'A'isha, Umm al-Mu'minin, "If a woman's husband desires her and she refuses to give herself to him either because she is angry or not eager, is there anything wrong in that?" "Yes," she replied. "Part of his right over you is that if he desires you when you are on a saddle, you must not refuse him." She said, "I also asked her, 'If one of us is menstruating and she and her husband only have a single cover, what should she do?' She replied, 'She should wrap her wrapper around her and sleep with him. He can have what is above it. I will tell you what the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, did on one of his nights with me. I had cooked some barley and made loaf for him. He came in, stopped at the door, and then went into the mosque. When he wanted to sleep, he closed the door, tied up the waterskin, turned the cup over and put out the light. I waited for him and he ate the loaf. He did not go until I fell asleep. Later he felt the cold and came and got me up. "Warm me! Warm me!" he said. I said, "I am menstruating." He said, "Then uncover your thighs," so I uncovered my thighs and he put his cheek and head on my thighs until he was warm. Then a pet sheep belonging to our neighbour came in. I went and took the load away. I disturbed the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and he woke up, so I chased the sheep to the door. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Take what you got of your loaf and do not injure your neighbour's sheep."'"

121. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "A person whose neighbours are not safe from his evil will not enter the Garden."

67. A woman should not disdain anything which her female neighbour gives her, even if it is only the hooves of a sheep

122. 'Amr ibn Mu'adh al-Ashhali reported that his grandmother said,"The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, 'Believing women! Do not let any of you women disdain her female neighbour's gift, even if it is only a burnt sheep's hoof.'"

123. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Muslim women! Muslim women! A woman should not disdain her female neighbour's gift, even if it is only a sheep's hoof."

68. The neighbour's complaint

124. Abu Hurayra said, "A man said, 'Messenger of Allah, I have a neighbour who does me harm.' He said, 'Go and take your things out into the road.' He took his things out into the road. People gathered around him and asked, 'What's the matter?' He replied, 'A neighbour of mine injures me and I mentioned it to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. He told me, "Take your things out into the road."' They began to say, 'O Allah, curse him! O Allah, disgrace him!' When the man heard that, he came out to him and said, 'Go back to your home. By Allah, I will not harm you.'"

125. Abu Juhayfa said, "A man complained to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, about his neighbour. The Prophet said, 'Take your bags and put them in the road and whoever passes them will curse him.' Everyone who passed him began to curse that neighbour. Then he went to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and said, 'How many people I met!' He said, 'The curse of Allah is on top of their curse!' Then he told the one who had complained, 'You have enough,' or words to that effect."

126. Jabir said, "A man came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, to complain to him about the enmity of his neighbour. While he was sitting between the Corner and the Maqam, the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, approached with a man who was wearing a white garment. They went to the Maqam where they were praying for the dead. He went up to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and said, 'May my mother and my father be your ransom, Messenger of Allah! Who is this man I see with you wearing the white garment?' 'You saw him?' he asked. 'Yes,' the man replied. He said, 'Then you have seen much good. That was Jibril, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, the Messenger of my Lord. He kept on recommending that I treat my neighbours well until I thought that he would order me to make them my heirs.'"

69. Someone who harms his neighbour until he forces him to leave

127. Thawban said, "When two men cut each other off for more than three days and one of them dies, then they both die while relations between them are severed and both of them are destroyed. There is no man who wrongs his neighbour to the extent that he forces him until he makes him leave his home who is not destroyed."

70. A Jewish neighbour

128. Mujahid said, "I was with 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr while his slave was skinning a sheep. He said, 'Boy! When you finish, start with the Jewish neighbour.' A man there exclaimed, 'Jewish? May Allah correct you!' He replied, 'I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, recommend that we treat our neighbours well until we feared (or we thought) that he would order us to make them our heirs.'"

(Taken from Al-Adab al-Mufrad Al-Bukhari)

So we must make our parents and anyone else who does not treat their neighbours well know what our stance as Muslims should be towards our neighbours. If your parents still do not listen then you should consult with a respected elder in the family or a scholar to advise your parents on the best manner to treat one's neighbours.

You should also continue to give them charity and also give them food and gifts for this is most pleasing to Allah.

May Allah enable us to be the best towards our neighbours at all times. Ameen

:wa:

 

[ardianto]

@ Akhee Hamza Asadullah.

Assalamu' Alaikum, my brother.

Thank you very much for sharing knowledge and advice. But let me clarify my statement.

If my neighbor is a poor old man, I will give him food and other things that he needs because he is poor and he does not able to work to feed himself. If my neighbor is a poor orphan boy, I will give what he needs and I will pay his study cost to make him has knowledge, and in the future he can feed himself.

But if my neighbor is a man in his "productive age", and strong enough to work ?. If he comes to my house and asks for food, I will give him food. Next day, if he comes again, I will give him food again. But if in the third day he comes and ask food again ........... I will tell him "If you want food, you must work for me then I will give you food and money".

My reason to order him to work is because, I see my help to him has makes him lost his motivation to work, and makes him depend on donation, and can makes him goes lazy. From what I know, concept of charity in Islam is not to make people become lazy.

As Muslims we are obligated to help the poor. But from my knowledge, we cannot use the same method to help all poor. We must use different method to different poverty case.

I remember a story. Rasulullah (saw) help a poor man to sell his old blanket, sold in two Dirham. Rasulullah (saw) gave one Dirham to that poor man "Use it to buy food for your family". Then Rasulullah (saw) gave him another one Dirham, "Use it to buy an axe". Later, that poor man use that axe to cut woods and sell it as firewood. Finally, that poor man had a job as firewood seller, he's not poor again and could feed his family.

That's why I want to know how the OP neighbor is. Old person, orphan kid, or young person ?, to find the right method to help that neighbor.

 

[Riana17]

Brother Ardianto

You have a good Iman Mashallah, I recently realize this, giving is responsibility too. Will it help or will it spoil the person?


"Acquire knowledge, it enables its professor to distinguish right from wrong; it lights the way to heaven. It is our friend in the desert, our company in solitude and companion when friendless. It guides us to happiness, it sustains us in misery, it is an ornament amongst friends and an armour against enemies." (widely attributed to the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh)

"The perfect Muslim is not a perfect Muslim, who eats till he is full and leaves his neighbors hungry." (Ibn Abbas: Baihaqi)