please please help me

:) sallam all

well I’m going to text him and tell him to call me, inshallah. and i will tell him what u all told me. and about my parents not letting me get married, its because they want me to marry a brother who is able to provide. I really don’t think they will allow me to stay engaged for a long time thing, like 3 years. they will be like what’s the point, its like you just want to make your boyfriend halal :-\ , u know things like that.

Oh and if we are engaged, can I see him alone, or does a mahram have to be there. and I’m thinking that there will be no need for him to provide for me, as I will still be under the care of my farther, am I right?

Jazakallah for your advice everyone.:statisfie you have been much help!

Assalamu Alaikum.
 
:salamext:

I was thinking if this brother came forth to your parents and asked for your hand then the everyone would be aware of this proposal, thus there would be no need for this brother to communicate with you in secret/private. He can speak to your parents instead and they can provide solutions for you and him Insha Allah. Your parents only want what best for you so…sabr Insha Allah. Maybe they can provide the brother with alternatives such as finding a job, than maybe you can do the Nikah and you can live with him and his mother until he can get a place of your own.

Sister if you stay away from falling into Haram, and your main goal is to ONLY please Allah and not yourself (desires) or this brother than Allah will open away for you. However if you fall for your emotions then shaydan will only trap you. Put your trust in Allah and stay away from this sticky situation (i.e contacting this brother). Everything happens by the Will of Allah.

EDIT:

Sister if you want to speak to someone, you're more than welcome to PM Insha Allah :)
 
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:sl:

I have decided to just leave the whole situation all together, everything happens for a reason hey:-\

jazakallah kair for all your input! love u all for the sake of Allah:)
 
I’m a practising Muslimh and he is too
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if u were than u wouldnt been seeing each other.!!

i do fear Allah that’s why I want to stop all this
Click to expand...

Than stop IT!! Show that u love allah more than this brother by ending this haraam relationship. If u wanna marry the bro than talk to your parents.

how should i go about this, how should i tell this brother.
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like one of the sis said jst email him, tell his its over no more.
 
AnonymousGender said:
Oh and if we are engaged, can I see him alone, or does a mahram have to be there. and I’m thinking that there will be no need for him to provide for me, as I will still be under the care of my farther, am I right?
Click to expand...

:sl:

Being engaged just means you are intending to marry him in the future. You are not allowed to treat him any differently than any other male who is not a mahram, so you still need to have a mahram when you talk to him, still are not allowed to touch him, talk privately, etc.
 
AnonymousGender said:
:sl:

I have decided to just leave the whole situation all together, everything happens for a reason hey:-\

jazakallah kair for all your input! love u all for the sake of Allah:)
Click to expand...

:sl: sister

hope u doing well.. i just wanted to say that i dnt think you should leave the situation. u both obviously love each other very much. it won't hurt to tell your parents this and see what they think, they may even surprise you and allow you to be married, or engaged at least? it's better than what ur doing at the moment rite?
try doing istikhara, it may clear everything up 4 u inshallah.

I think you will end up regretting not doing anything about it tho.
are you gonna end it with the brother then? or just carry on as normal?

im not really good at givin advise! but what the other brothers and sisters have suggested is pretty gud :)

i really hope everything goes well for u, and Allah (swt) makes it easy for you. inshallah

:w:
* hugs*
 
AnonymousGender said:
:sl:

I have decided to just leave the whole situation all together, everything happens for a reason hey:-\

jazakallah kair for all your input! love u all for the sake of Allah:)
Click to expand...

hey you can always try propose first :)


i hope Allah rewards you with something much better, if not in dunya then in akhirah inshaAllah :D
 
AnonymousGender said:
:sl: sister

hope u doing well.. i just wanted to say that i dnt think you should leave the situation. u both obviously love each other very much. it won't hurt to tell your parents this and see what they think, they may even surprise you and allow you to be married, or engaged at least? it's better than what ur doing at the moment rite?
try doing istikhara, it may clear everything up 4 u inshallah.

I think you will end up regretting not doing anything about it tho.
are you gonna end it with the brother then? or just carry on as normal?

im not really good at givin advise! but what the other brothers and sisters have suggested is pretty gud :)

i really hope everything goes well for u, and Allah (swt) makes it easy for you. inshallah

:w:
* hugs*
Click to expand...



Assalamu Alaikum

sometime u just end up feeling like your giving more than your receiving :cry: I’m mentally tired now. my choice is clear to me. I made istikahra a few times, and I feel that if its meant to be it will be, I know I may sound selfish but when I fall in love I want the brother to make an effort! not to fear people such as his mother or family, but fear Allah!! and stoooooop dragging this on for me:cry:

u know Wallahi I realised something from all this. 'to say u love me is not enough' u must care about the persons dunia and aakhira.imsad

it kills me to think my great love has ended in such a sad wayimsad . I thought we could make it.

Allah has blessed me with meeting lots of pious sisters in such a short amount of time, Mashallah they are the best!! they helped me so much through all this, they made me smile again. I don’t know if ever I’ll get over him but I intend to better my self, concentrate on my deen and be the best muslimah I can be. Allah is the one for me. The thing which keeps me going is my deen right now, so Alhamdullilah.

A few weeks back I thought I could not breath with out this brother in my life, I dint really want to talk bad of him, mashallah he is a sweet brother, but when push comes to shove u have to make a choice.

U have a plan but Allah has another, (inshallah a much better one:okay: )

Assalamu Alaikum
 
Assalamu alaikum to you all!

I'm the OP,

SubhanAllah 9 years later, so I thought I should update you guys on what happened.

This is the first time I'm looking back on my previous threads, so cringe lol.

JazakAllah khair to all those who advised my younger lost self. You guys were so patient with me!!

Anyways Alhamdulilah I called things off with him and put my faith in Allah, and after around 9 months of not talking he approached my parents and they agreed to a nikkah. But for us to live apart for a while.

Alhamdulilah 9 years on and a son later things are good.

However, I know truly understand why it is haram to even free mix let alone date! There is no point putting anyone in a position to control your heart, for it will never find ease except with the Remembrance of Allah

Alhamdulilah I love my husband but I've realised no one even if you date for 10 years will show their true color, so you might as well do things the hallal way from the beginning and put your trust in Allah. Only Allah knows what's in their heart.
 
MashAllah good to hear your married to the one you love and are happy together. May Allah swt bless your marriage. Ameen. Well said..when you date it's all about impressing the other person and not showing ones true colours which is deceiving.
 

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