please plz help me.......

[AnonymousPoster]

in my past i've commited some sins, and i sincerely regret it, but it feels like they will never leave me, keep bringing a bad shadow into my future. And because of this every second of my life i fear loosing someone i don't want to loose. I don't want anyone to find out about this, i jsut want my past to leave me because i fear it will ruin my future. Please ppl help me, what should i do. How do i prevent this some1 from finding out about my past, cuz he has friends that may drop stuff to him about me. Please help me!

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah

you've repented right? khalas, thats that then

now just keep doing the right thing and trust in Allah, make dua' that Allah does whats best for you, only dua' can change qadr.


Why worry when you know Allahs in control? Just earn Allahs love, and he'll do whats best for you . If anything happens which disappoints you, bare it with patience, because Allah tests whom he loves

 

[...]

If youve repented and changed your ways then thats the most you could do now just keep on praying and do more good deeds to make up for it inshaAllah..

 

[sevgi]

one question...

how can u love someone so much..and yet hide vital things from him...?

dnt u think, if u care enuf abt him..he has a right to know what uve don ein the past?

and it will hurt him more if he finds out from mates...?like when things are more serious?

you are playing on chances,...

nd i feel for the guy...i mean..how wud u feel if one day ur frends told u bt his 'bad' past?

i dno...

come clean and if he cares bout u like u care bout him...he will undrestand and see the new u...the improved, repented u...and accept u with ur past...

btw,,,i hope ur nt making the same mistake again with this dude...coz then, its not nice in the eyes of Allah...

peace...

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

one question...

how can u love someone so much..and yet hide vital things from him...?

dnt u think, if u care enuf abt him..he has a right to know what uve don ein the past?

i find this to be a big mistake honestly.


if you love someone you try keep that love strong, why taint it with past mistakes you've repented from? is this what islam teaches? rather islam teaches us to hide our past sins ! infact islam even teaches that we can lie to our wives such as saying "you look so beautiful" to keep them pleased (i think i heard this in a lecture),


SOMEONE CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG :hiding:

 

[...]

Abdullah Ibn Masoud (رضي الله عنه) related, ‘A man came to the Prophet and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! I have mingled with a woman in the far side of al-Medina, and I fulfilled my desire short of actually having sexual intercourse with her. So, here am I, judge me according to what you decide.’ Umar Ibn al-Khattab (رضي الله عنه) then said: ‘Allah had kept your secret, why did not you keep your secret?’ [Sharh Muslim] Similarly, if one becomes aware of somebody else’s sin, he should keep it a secret. Allah’s Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: “He, who relieves a hardship of this Dunya (world) for a believer, Allah will relieve (from him) a hardship of the Day of Resurrection; he who makes easy an indebted person, Allah will make it easy for him in the Dunya and the Hereafter; he who covers a Muslim (meaning his mistakes and shortcomings), Allah will cover him in the Dunya and the Hereafter …” [Muslim]

 

[sevgi]

i find this to be a big mistake honestly.


if you love someone you try keep that love strong, why taint it with past mistakes you've repented from? is this what islam teaches? rather islam teaches us to hide our past sins ! infact islam even teaches that we can lie to our wives such as saying "you look so beautiful" to keep them pleased (i think i heard this in a lecture),


SOMEONE CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG :hiding:

of course...if u are married, u shud definetly try to maintain ur love etc...telling ur wife she is beutiful nd stuf...

but before u are married, what if that guy duznt want a wife with a 'bad' past? there is no relationship to 'not taint'..if u know what i mean...if there is a relationship before marriage, it is either unlawful or enagement...

isnt it worse for him to find out later when its too late and dump her?

think of urself bro..wouldnt u want to know?

 

[AnonymousPoster]

sis sumey why r u bein so dark for? ya i understand that the guy might want to find out, but there is something called repentance, and like the hadith mentions above it's a matter between me and Allah.

it's easier said than done, but one wont realize that unless one has something at stake, like i do. But i am not ready to pay the price for what i did in the past.

And like u said if he finds out, then the best he can do is to leave me, true, i'll just accept is as my punishment. But ppl make mistakes and they change!

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

think of urself bro..wouldnt u want to know?

i thought about it quite a bit and i'd prefer not to know, if after marriage i happen to find out then i'll learn to deal with it, however i would respect that she attempted to keep her sins hidden. why shud her past sins affect us? WHY?

 

[rozeena]

i thought about it quite a bit and i'd prefer not to know, if after marriage i happen to find out then i'll learn to deal with it, however i would respect that she attempted to keep her sins hidden. why shud her past sins affect us? WHY?

:thumbs_up

 

[Maidah]

i thought about it quite a bit and i'd prefer not to know, if after marriage i happen to find out then i'll learn to deal with it, however i would respect that she attempted to keep her sins hidden. why shud her past sins affect us? WHY?

I respect your thinking bro!

 

[^..sTr!vEr..^]

Thats shaitan making hinderance in your gettting close to Allah swt..yeah thats he...THE DEVIL..fears..

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

one question...

how can u love someone so much..and yet hide vital things from him...?

dnt u think, if u care enuf abt him..he has a right to know what uve don ein the past?

and it will hurt him more if he finds out from mates...?like when things are more serious?

you are playing on chances,...

nd i feel for the guy...i mean..how wud u feel if one day ur frends told u bt his 'bad' past?

i dno...

come clean and if he cares bout u like u care bout him...he will undrestand and see the new u...the improved, repented u...and accept u with ur past...

btw,,,i hope ur nt making the same mistake again with this dude...coz then, its not nice in the eyes of Allah...

peace...

woah!! sis thats a big no no for me. what done is done. if you've changed your ways and its all behind you, you shouldn't bring it up again, because you are goinna cause trouble. you could loose a really good prson over this. no when you tell people things (big things i mean) they tend not look at you the same. they probably become suspicious of you, and hence trouble will brew.

 

[sevgi]

woah!! sis thats a big no no for me. what done is done. if you've changed your ways and its all behind you, you shouldn't bring it up again, because you are goinna cause trouble. you could loose a really good prson over this. no when you tell people things (big things i mean) they tend not look at you the same. they probably become suspicious of you, and hence trouble will brew.

so now its the old question of 'do you hide the truth to keep things happy', or tell the truth, expose WHO U REALLY ARE, and face the consequesnces for ur own doing...

ur past is ur past and u must own up to it, and if that special person is special enuf, he will wee the changes that have occurred.

the question is really, short term comfort or long term comfort? Allah will reveal all if that special person is clean enuf and worthy of knowing such things.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

your past in certanily your past, and thats how it should remain, if you have changed your ways. it'll just cause trouble if it is brought up again. any self-respecting person, i think will see the person differently, no matter how uch they love and know them.
and what do you mean by 'who you really are.' if you've changed and all, than 'who you really are' dosn't exsist.

 

[sevgi]

your past in certanily your past, and thats how it should remain, if you have changed your ways. it'll just cause trouble if it is brought up again. any self-respecting person, i think will see the person differently, no matter how uch they love and know them.
and what do you mean by 'who you really are.' if you've changed and all, than 'who you really are' dosn't exsist.

i see what u mean sis...it really is a matter of theory and practice. it is easy to sit here and say what i am saying in theory, in parctice it is much much harder.

i myself lived this. it was absolutely hard. i thought tho,,, if this person in special to me and vice versa, it wud only make sense that i respect them enuf to tell them abt my past...

it is inevitable that the perception of the person be altered. definitely. but that is just a consequece. and if that person is truly tied to u as the person they have met...the past shudnt matter, it will serve as a warning and a guide for him/her to take care and make sure u assist the person to not make the same mistakes again. this is especially important if u are planning to spend the rest of ur life with that person...life partner...life includes past present and future.

just the same, and i tried to identify this in my last post 'who u really are' is complacent with ur past....what makes u who u really are is ur past...u are nothing without ur past, as experienced with amnesia etc. ur past is the moulding process of ur current personality and is edited every second.every experience, every mistake, every second affects us in ways which we may or may not be aware of...

perhaps if the person we tell sees something in us that he or she is not too happy abt, they may be able to attribute it to the past mistake and jst move on, instead of quarreling and fighting on the matter till he/she finds out the truth,...

i gues it is upto the individual and how much self respect they have for themselves, the perosn they care abt and the relationship between them.this is the case for both sides. the one with the mistakes shud respect enuf to tell and the reciever should respect enuf to admire the truthfulness and nobility.

but thats just me sis...i dno. :statisfie