postpartum depression!!!

[honey123]

AOA Brothers and Sisters!!!

I have shared my family problems over here before too and got some good advice. I would not repeat my story over here again but last time when I posted over here I was pregnant and was goin through some hard time. Briefly, I have been married for 3 years, my first year of marriage went smoothly Alhamdulillah but from the past 2 years I have been constantly facing problems in my married life due to excessive interference by inlaws. Allah blessed me vid a pretty daughter Alhamdulillah 1 month ago. Both my motherinlaw n mother are here to help me out with everything. My motherinlaw left but my mother is still with me for 1 more month n den she's gonna leave too.

As soon as I delivered my child my husband took good care of me for 3-4 days but after dat I dont know what happened he changed completely. He started ignoring me big time, he wouldnt even sit with me n say 2 words of love or compassion. I went through so much in delivering da baby n in return wat i get is rudeness??? I have a strong feeling dat my motherinlaw brainwashed him or did something dat my husband changed so much and I am not saying all this baseless. I have noticed my motherinlaw, during her entire stay shehas been brainwashing my husband against her husband's family i.e. my motherinlaws inlaws. She doesnt like her inlaws n she always speak ill of them n have raised her kids such dat they hate them too whereas I have seen them they arent bad ppl at all.
1 week after my delivery my motherinlaw taunted me on something, I said nothing to my motherinlaw, not even showed any rudeness to her. When my husband got back home I just told him polietly how his mother taunted me n I even told him dat I was telling him all this just to inform him, I didnt expect him to react or discuss it vid his mother but instead of saying dat what his mother did was wrong he started fighting vid me n said things dat were very heartbreaking n wrong.

Long story short my inlaws r very interfering n unfair. they r very complicated ppl. They r smooth talkers, they wuld be very sweet in words but their words donot follow their actions n my husband is blindfolded in their love. My husband is very sharp for da rest of da world noone can fool him but when it comes to his family he's completely stupid, he's so much blindfolded in his family's love dat for e.g. if it's daytime n my motherinlaw says dat no it's night, my husband would say dat yes my mother is always correct it's nighttime.

My husband has been very rude to me at this sensitive time when I needed his support n love da most n not only this as soon as his mother left, his mood is off all the time n I feel bad for my mother. What is she going to think dat what kind of person her soninlaw is? Brothers and sisters em in severe depression now due to my husband's behaviour. I just dunno wat to do, I even cant file for divorce now due to my daughter. I dont want my daughter to be raised in a broken family.
I know Allah is punishing me for some big sins I committed in past. I know my sins are da reason dat I dont have peace in my life n my married life is messed up.

Last time when I discussed my probs u guys adviced to be patient n dats wat I exactly did but brothers and sisters em very tired now, I dont have the strength to handle things vid pateince anymore. I cant explain how heartbroken n dead I am from inside. I dont know what to do. I'll go crazy if Allah puts me through more tests, all this is way beyond my patience n strength level.

Plz give me some advice dat could bring peace to my heart, mind n soul.
May Allah bless u all
JAzakAllah

 

[Alpha Dude]

I know Allah is punishing me for some big sins I committed in past. I know my sins are da reason dat I dont have peace in my life n my married life is messed up.a

There's no need to blame your problems on your sins. You could be the most perfect of men and still have enourmous problems. Look at the lives of the Prophets, upon them be peace. So, just think of your problems as test to be patient with. No need to delve too deeply into the why it's happening.

In fact, Allah also uses tests and hardship as a means of bringing a person closer to him. E.g. someone with severe emotional trauma after witnessing his family member going into a coma will be so distressed that he won't be thinking of wordly matters but will be constantly in communication with Allah asking for his help and trying his best to avoid sin such that Allah will be more likely to provide assistance. The more prolonged the hardship, the less likely the person will be 'in' to wordly things and more likely the attention will be on Allah.

Regarding your husband, without knowing anything about him, it is not necessarily that he is blind to their bad qualities - even if they may be the worst people out there, he will still care for them simply because they are his family members and it may be that he took your simple statement as an attack on his mother and felt it was his duty to defend her.

I am not sure if your situation is as severe enough to necessitate separation. Perhaps try to remove all negative thoughts of such nature out of your mind and think positive and have a strong determination to make things work no matter what.

Try to initiate the compassion from your part? Maybe if you did that every so often it might strike a chord with him and make him inclined to return it.

May Allah make things easy for you all. Aameen.

 

[honey123]

Thank u brother for ur advice Em just very confused nowadays vid where my marriage n life is goin. After giving 3 years time to our relation n our marriage I feel as if em back to square 1, I feel as if em living vid a complete stranger n I feel as if I dunno my husband at all. The picture of a husband dat he created in my mind, the promises he made and the kind of person he claimed he is during the initial days of our marriage, he's nothing like dat. Good or Bad I have to live with it now, there's no way out now especially after having a kid.
I know brother u dont know me at all but still I would make a humble request, plz pray dat Allah gives me the strength n patience to deal vid this hard time in life n make things easy for me.
I would also make a humble request to all the people who view this post to mak dua for me.
JazakAllah May Allah reward u all for praying for me n giving me good advices.