potential spouse

[Salahudeen]

Thank you for the advices. I am sorry but ever since I have met this man I feel less and less compatible with him. He is so much better than me as a person and he has had many priviledges that have shaped him into what he is. I have not had the same and a much less refined upbringing. You have no idea how this is hurting my confidence in my abilities and what if living with him will make this worse? I dont want to seem ungrateful but I am scared and slightly depressed by this.... I should have faith in Allah swts decisions but I keep thinking he deserves better. His decision to go ahead with this is based on simplicity and piety and no other reasons but what if he has expectations he doesnt yet know of? or will he compare me to the women of his family? Please pray that whatever happens is the best for me.

We can sit around all day, thinking to ourselves, what if this happens, what if this happens, or we can just go out and do the thing, and see how many of our what ifs materialize, you don't know how the future will pan out, this man is only a man, he's no angel, his poo smells just as bad as the rest of us, as do his farts, stop viewing him as better than yourself because I think this is why you feel inadequate to him, every person has faults, no one is perfect, he may be better than you in some area's but your also better than him in other area's.

I think your worries will only be resolved by communicating with him and asking him what he expects from his wife, then you ask yourself, "hmm can I meet those expectations on a day to day basis" then if you know you can, do istikhara and go for it, if you think you won't be able to, then just say you're not suitable for each other.

But sitting and worrying about a bunch of what ifs is not the way to go sometimes, be positive and value yourself as much as anyone else. If you don't value your self how can you expect other people to.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Asalaamu alaikum. My sister please stop constantly putting yourself down. No matter how good a person appears only Allah knows what is in their hearts and only he can judge who is better in his eyes, not us. So stop making judgements that he is better than you for ONLY Allah knows that.

So make the best of every opportunity you come across and know that there are many sisters out there who are struggling to find decent marriage potentials and here you are constantly putting yourself down. Appreciate the fact that you have come across someone by the will of Allah and do not make judgements on how worthy or unworthy you are for only Allah knows best.

There are far more women out there looking for marriage than there,are men and that makes it even more difficult for sisters to find decent potentials. So think to yourself how fortunate you are to have found a decent marriage potential and stop keep putting yourself down.

Just make the best of this opportunity and then put your trust and reliance in Allah and accept whatever happens after that. We just dont know you to tell you how worthy or unworthy you are or how worthy or unworthy he is for you. The best advice we can give you is:

1. Make the best of every opportunity you get when you come across a potential.

2. After making the best of each opportunity then put your reliance and trust in Allah and accept his decree because in the end whatever happens will only happen for the best.

So if you do end up marrying him then it was for the best. If you dont then Allah has someone better in store for you but please sister stop putting yourself down and thank Allah and make the best of this opportunity and see where it takes you.

May Allah for what is best for you.

 

[Snowflake]

Lol let's stop pressuring the sis insha Allah ;D Sister don't listen to us. Allah knows best so ask for His guidance (istikhara) insha Allah.

 

[Riana17]

Salam ukhtee, any update?