Question about dating/ marriage in Islam

[LauraLee]

Hello, any input would be greatly appreciated on this matter.

I am a non-muslim, but have been told the following two and would like to understand if this is accurate.

1) That one can "date" another if he claims her to be his wife in his heart even though a ceremony has not happened.

2) That a wife will love her husband and treat him with respect even if he tells her he no longer loves her and she should not leave.

I am just learning about Islam, but to me the first one seems very wrong as it leads to the possibility of sin. Isn't there a statement that if two are in the room there is a third (Saytaan) even if this is just over the phone/internet?

Please can someone clarify? I would greatly appreciate it.

I just want to make sure I am getting the correct information when learning about Islam.

 

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam/Peace

Sis , welcome to the forum.

The first statement is totally ' false ' . God warned in holy Quran :
Don't come near to adultery ( chapter light ) .

So , as it's easily understandable - ' dating ' is a way that may lead one to commit one of the most major sins. Prophet pbuh warned that u already mentioned: when a man and a women stay together in private , third person comes and that's the devil.

If a husband does not love wife and mistreates her , then she has a right to go to judge and asks for end of the married life. Divorce is not encouraged in Islam but allowed when necessary. Among all lawful matters , God dislikes divorce . So , both wife and husband must be careful about that .

Thanks for ur interest about Islam .

 

[Salahudeen]

Hello, any input would be greatly appreciated on this matter.

I am a non-muslim, but have been told the following two and would like to understand if this is accurate.

1) That one can "date" another if he claims her to be his wife in his heart even though a ceremony has not happened.

2) That a wife will love her husband and treat him with respect even if he tells her he no longer loves her and she should not leave.

I am just learning about Islam, but to me the first one seems very wrong as it leads to the possibility of sin. Isn't there a statement that if two are in the room there is a third (Saytaan) even if this is just over the phone/internet?

Please can someone clarify? I would greatly appreciate it.

I just want to make sure I am getting the correct information when learning about Islam.

The first statement is totally wrong, it's a sin to have a relationship outside of marriage even if he claims to be her wife in his heart. The truth is she is not his wife regardless if he claims it in his heart. Whoever told you this was wrong. And be careful in case they want you to have a sinful relationship with them and they told you this to make you think it's ok.

After the ceremony takes place only then are you his wife and only then can you engage in the activities that a married couple engage in.

Yes there is a statement like that, no man and woman are alone with each other except that the 3rd amongst them is satan.

The second statement depends on the people involved, in Islam if a woman is unhappy in her marriage because the husband is not giving the due rights to her then she can divorce him, if he tells her that he doesn't love her any more but still wants her to stay with him then it's her entirely her prerogative, she can leave him if she wants or she can decide to stay. Whatever she decides is up to her.

 

[peaceandlove]

Sister , this might not be exatly answer you question , but as you are interested in the topic of dating in Islam , this link http://islam-faq.blogspot.com/2010/05/dating-in-islam.html might increase you knowledge.

May Allah give hidayat to all of us.

 

[LauraLee]

Thank you everyone for your insight and answers. I am very grateful for your help in sharing your knowledge. I thought it would be wrong to engage in dating and that is why we (Non-Muslims) encourage short engagements. Well, unfortunately some choose long ones to save up money for a huge wedding that is unecessary. Anyway, I do not agree with the long term dating as well and kind of felt that it may have been wrong information.

I am so glad to have all of you to help me understand and clarify.

Peaceandlove thank you for the website. It is much appreciated.

~Laura

 

[ayesha.ansari]

These both statements are false. Islam or Quran doesn't say anything like that. Islam totally stop from the act mentioned in first point. And the concept of not leaving the husband if he didn't love his wife is also wrong. Islam never force anything and Islam is not injustice with a women.