Question on family post reversion

[Seeker1066]

Hello my friends,

I have a question concerning my family and reversion if I choose to revert. My wife is Catholic as am I my son is adopted from Russia. I know that a Muslim man can have a Christian wife. My question more revolves around my son. I know that Islam prohibits adoption. Of course this has already happened 3 years ago. My son has always been told that he is adopted and we hold back no information concerning his ancestory. We even tell him what his Russian name was. Thus he will grow up knowing his surname etc. His father was never known as the Mother who had custody revoked never informed authorities of his identity if she even knew. Since he is not a blood child would he be obligated to be raised as a muslim? Mother would not allow this. I am aware that from the Muslim perspective he would be as a Brother so as not to deny his Father or Ancestry. He is too young (5) to understand this at this time. Later when he is old enough I could explain the Position of Islam to him. I seriously desire your thoughts on this as I love them both.
Thank you in Advance,
Troy

 

[Nur-ud-Dean]

Hello there.

Who told you that Islam forbids adoption? That is not true - it is a commendable act of kindness, and you have done the right thing by being honest with him. It is only prohibited to pretend that an adopted child is yours by birth. More detail here: http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=266&CATE=87

From what I have read it is however considered obligatory to raise the child as a Muslim (see: http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=3&ID=3858&CATE=453). How old is the boy?

I am pleased you are considering entering Islam; you will not regret it, as I did not. Please get in touch if you need any help along the way.


Nur-ud-Dean

www.NewMuslimDhikr.co.uk

 

[tango92]

the man is head of the household, I think you should raise him as muslim before its too late.

at the age of puberty kids tend not to listen to their parents, and this is the age when they becom acountable for their deeds, if he were to die not being a believer during this time, then some responsibility will be on you for not getting through to him when you had the chance

 

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam/Peace

..if I choose to revert.

may Allah make it easy for u :statisfie

I know that Islam prohibits adoption.

Pl. visit the link - Islam’s Stance on Adoption

...Adoption in the sense of changing one’s identity and lineage for a false lineage is prohibited in Islam; but at the same time, it is allowed for Muslims to adopt a child in the sense of taking him/her under his/her wing for providing both physical and spiritual care for him/her.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “The best house of Muslims is one where an orphan is cared for.”

.....The issue of hijab in the house is also given due regard between the non-related sisters and brothers, etc

....Adoption is widely practiced in many non-Muslim western societies. Babies are taken from their parents and named after those adopting them. The children grow up having no idea who their real parents are. In a mobile society like the U.S.A. for example, an adopted boy may end up marrying his sister from his original parents without knowing that she is his sister. These cases have actually happened


...
You can also read:
Giving an Adopted Child a Share of One’s Property
Refuting Claims Regarding the Prophet’s Marriage to Zaynab Bint Jahsh

Allah Almighty knows best.​

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...nglish-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaEAskTheScholar

 

[Seeker1066]

Hello there.

Who told you that Islam forbids adoption? That is not true - it is a commendable act of kindness, and you have done the right thing by being honest with him. It is only prohibited to pretend that an adopted child is yours by birth. More detail here: http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=266&CATE=87

From what I have read it is however considered obligatory to raise the child as a Muslim (see: http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=3&ID=3858&CATE=453). How old is the boy?

I am pleased you are considering entering Islam; you will not regret it, as I did not. Please get in touch if you need any help along the way.


Nur-ud-Dean

www.NewMuslimDhikr.co.uk

This is a dilemna as my wife would resist raising him as a Muslim. She would also not follow rules concerning clothing. Then am I left with only the choice of braking up my family??

 

[Seeker1066]

the man is head of the household, I think you should raise him as muslim before its too late.

at the age of puberty kids tend not to listen to their parents, and this is the age when they becom acountable for their deeds, if he were to die not being a believer during this time, then some responsibility will be on you for not getting through to him when you had the chance

I fear that this would lead to divorce. My wife is not nor has any interest in Islam.

 

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam/Peace

I fear that this would lead to divorce. My wife is not nor has any interest in Islam.

bro , if u feel that Islam is the truth , then accept it without any delay . First save yourself from hellfire , then think about other things.

May God guide u and bless you in this world and hereafter .

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

I fear that this would lead to divorce. My wife is not nor has any interest in Islam.

If you know in your heart that Islam is the truth and that there is ONLY ONE God and that is Allah and that the last Prophet is Muhammed (Pbuh), then all you have to do is declare it fully with your heart because life is so uncertain and there is nothing to wait for.

Take everything one step at a time there is no point looking to much into the future when it is not certain that we will be alive for tomorrow so let us think about the present and right now it is incumbant on you to accept the truth if your heart knows it and deal with other things as they come.

There will always be hurdles in all of our lives but that does'nt mean we should put off what is most important and there is nothing more important in our life than acknowledging the one who created us!

 

[جوري]

I think your adopted son should be free to make up his mind as to which religion suits him best.. I don't see how your wife or even you can have anything to do with the matter.. the best thing you can do is set the best example possible to both of them..

and Allah swt knows best

May Allah swt make this easy on you..

peace

 

[ruk]

Praise be to Allah (The Glorified and Exalted).

You may live with your wife and the child. As long as the child knows you are not his biological parent, then it is OKAY.

You live in a secular society, in which a child around the teenage years, becomes interested in learning the purpose of life and Who is God. As long as you practice Islam and perform your prayers in the home and may be seen by your wife or child, have good Islamic manners with your wife and child, and hang some Islamic stuff in your home, such as a picture of the Kabah in Makkah, or Arabic calligraphy such as "Bismillah" (In the name of Allah); this may spark the interest of your son to learn about Islam. He may then read an English translation of the Qur'an or watch lectures when he gets older, and it will become obvious to him that Islam is the correct religion to follow. It is okay if he reads the bible, or learns about christianity, you cannot stop it as long as your wife insists on remaining christian. As long as you remain Muslim, both your wife and especially the child will have some connection with the religion and may eventually convert. Don't be in haste. Ask Allah (The Glorified) to guide the rest of your family.

Start associating with the local Muslim community, by converting in the local masjid (mosque) so you can be greeted and make friends with the other Muslims. Talk to some of the brothers about your situation and invite them and their wives and children over sometimes for a barbeque or dinner and allow your child to play with their children. This way your wife and child may make friends with Muslims and they will become more connected with Muslims.

The following websites are helping in learning about Islam. Remember, give your wife some time, if she is extremely unwilling to even speak about religion. If she is more open, then perhaps sometimes over a conversation alone, you may speak about monotheism in Islam (the description of Allah), etc.

1) http://www.islamreligion.com/
2) http://thedeenshow.com/show.php?action=guest&id=9
3) http://www.youtube.com/user/khalifahklothing?blend=1&ob=4

 

[Seeker1066]

I think your adopted son should be free to make up his mind as to which religion suits him best.. I don't see how your wife or even you can have anything to do with the matter.. the best thing you can do is set the best example possible to both of them..

and Allah swt knows best

May Allah swt make this easy on you..

peace

Thank you for this.

 

[Seeker1066]

Praise be to Allah (The Glorified and Exalted).

You may live with your wife and the child. As long as the child knows you are not his biological parent, then it is OKAY.

You live in a secular society, in which a child around the teenage years, becomes interested in learning the purpose of life and Who is God. As long as you practice Islam and perform your prayers in the home and may be seen by your wife or child, have good Islamic manners with your wife and child, and hang some Islamic stuff in your home, such as a picture of the Kabah in Makkah, or Arabic calligraphy such as "Bismillah" (In the name of Allah); this may spark the interest of your son to learn about Islam. He may then read an English translation of the Qur'an or watch lectures when he gets older, and it will become obvious to him that Islam is the correct religion to follow. It is okay if he reads the bible, or learns about christianity, you cannot stop it as long as your wife insists on remaining christian. As long as you remain Muslim, both your wife and especially the child will have some connection with the religion and may eventually convert. Don't be in haste. Ask Allah (The Glorified) to guide the rest of your family.

Start associating with the local Muslim community, by converting in the local masjid (mosque) so you can be greeted and make friends with the other Muslims. Talk to some of the brothers about your situation and invite them and their wives and children over sometimes for a barbeque or dinner and allow your child to play with their children. This way your wife and child may make friends with Muslims and they will become more connected with Muslims.

The following websites are helping in learning about Islam. Remember, give your wife some time, if she is extremely unwilling to even speak about religion. If she is more open, then perhaps sometimes over a conversation alone, you may speak about monotheism in Islam (the description of Allah), etc.

1) http://www.islamreligion.com/
2) http://thedeenshow.com/show.php?action=guest&id=9
3) http://www.youtube.com/user/khalifahklothing?blend=1&ob=4

I will think on your good advice.

 

[Nur-ud-Dean]

This is a dilemna as my wife would resist raising him as a Muslim. She would also not follow rules concerning clothing. Then am I left with only the choice of braking up my family??

I do not mean try to enforce every dimension of Islam immediately. Begin with yourself. I sincerely believe that if you are a practising Muslim who tries to emulate the characteristics of our Prophet (peace be upon him), then Allah will soften the hearts of those around you as they see the effect that Islam has on your life. Do not give up on your wife so early. As for how to raise the boy, begin with the 'common ground'. Focus on those many parts of Islam that non-Muslims often admire, such as high levels of hygiene, discipline (as well as self-discipline) and good manners.

 

[Seeker1066]

I do not mean try to enforce every dimension of Islam immediately. Begin with yourself. I sincerely believe that if you are a practising Muslim who tries to emulate the characteristics of our Prophet (peace be upon him), then Allah will soften the hearts of those around you as they see the effect that Islam has on your life. Do not give up on your wife so early. As for how to raise the boy, begin with the 'common ground'. Focus on those many parts of Islam that non-Muslims often admire, such as high levels of hygiene, discipline (as well as self-discipline) and good manners.

Thank you for your advice.

Peace to you.

 

[syilla]

:salamext:

I think sometimes people forget to mentioned that teaching Islam is not really all about prayers and salah.

Its also about the importance of cleanliness, being truthful, being polite, respect elderly and parents, striving for knowledge, knowing and practices haya, loving and caring, avoiding riba', avoiding zina, avoiding shirk, to be brave and have principles, to choose what is wrong and what is right, and etc...

and i think that is important to teach children from small.

 

[Ramadhan]

:salamext:

I think sometimes people forget to mentioned that teaching Islam is not really all about prayers and salah.

Its also about the importance of cleanliness, being truthful, being polite, respect elderly and parents, striving for knowledge, knowing and practices haya, loving and caring, avoiding riba', avoiding zina, avoiding shirk, to be brave and have principles, to choose what is wrong and what is right, and etc...

and i think that is important to teach children from small.

This is a great reminder of what being a muslim should be.

Jazakallah khair

 

[seekingsolace]

I too am a revert and have a son adopted from China. He's now 7, and knows the story of his adoption and some of the story of his abandonment (I don't think he's ready emotionally for all of it). The rest of our family including his late father are/were Christians.

When I reverted, he and I had a long talk about Islam. He told me that he wants to learn more about it, but wants to wait to make the decision for a year or so. I told him that was fine, as long as he does not worship anyone other than Allah. He also follows the dietary rules both at home and at school. We have also briefly discussed the issue of circumcision since he was never circumcised.

I want him to come to Islam by choice rather than by force, knowing in the end this will give him a stronger faith inshallah.

As an aside to the poster who suggested the OP leave his wife and child to save himself from hellfire.... Can you show me exactly where Allah says it a good thing to abandon one's family just because one's Christian wife refuses to wear a hijab 24/7 in her own home? I have heard numerous times that the People of the Book should be judged based upon their own Message, and Christianity does not require her to keep hijab in front of an adopted son. How then does this non-sin of hers transfer to the OP and **** him to hell? Would it not be better for him to stay in the home practicing as a good Muslim and providing dawah by example to his family?