Asalam alaykum,
As a new muslim revert (or convert if you want to be technical) I am now finding a lot of things I do wrong that I used to take for granted and now suddenly I'm learning that they're wrong.
There's some things that I kinda knew already were wrong, but I didn't think they were that big a deal. Take alcohol for example, half a bottle of wine every few months, no biggie right? But at the same time I don't really miss it either and I did find it awfully dehydrating and somewhat self-degrading, so it was easy to quit.
Swearing, another thing that I did on rare occasions, felt bad for and did not miss. Easy to let go of.
These were small minor things in my life that didn't make much of a difference when I stipped doing them, because I didn't do them much anyway.
Wasting food is harder, I just need to convince my grandma to stop buying so much. I don't eat a lot either, which makes it a bit tricky because stuff goes off before I get around to eating it, and I find myself over-eating to try to finish it all. I can't find anyone else who wants it either.
However, there were things I did/do a lot that I have learned to be wrong (that I may have had an inkling were wrong anyway but did not provoke a conscious response) that were/are very big parts of my life. Some without me even realizing it.
1) Interaction with non-mahram males. I considered them my brothers, sure, in a figurative sense. Definitely non-romantic, at least from my perspective. I obviously can't say for sure what they were thinking but I don't think it was anything romantic or sexual. One of my weekly classes involves physical contact. The teacher does a good job of keeping contact limited and if possible pairing males with males and females with females. But most times there are more males there so occasionally I get paired with a male. There was one occasion where I got paired with this one particular guy and I have no idea what happened but I just didn't want to work with him. No offence intended to the guy but working with him made me feel creeped out. If I ask if I can be paired with females only I don't think there would be much of a problem, but would the lack of mahram males and the presence of non-mahram males make it impermissible for me to attend? We are all told to wear loose clothes so there is no requirement for me or anyone else to be dressed inappropriately, but I'm not sure if that makes it okay.
2) Drawing animals. I know I have posted about this before, but it's getting the better of me now, I really liked drawing animals. I was doing okay for a while, but now I'm finding myself with all these ideas and having to suppress them and it's really difficult for me to not express these ideas on paper when I have any access to them. Alhamdulilah I haven't given in yet (except in a dream, not real life). I'm not asking for any advice here, actually I'm just having a whinge about it, because it's eating away at me.
3) There is a third very bad thing, but I won't directly say what it is. It does take up a portion of my life and I think it's the hardest thing to quit. No it's not cigarettes. I'm not sure how anybody can help with this but if you think you have any general advice I'd like to try it.
As a new muslim revert (or convert if you want to be technical) I am now finding a lot of things I do wrong that I used to take for granted and now suddenly I'm learning that they're wrong.
There's some things that I kinda knew already were wrong, but I didn't think they were that big a deal. Take alcohol for example, half a bottle of wine every few months, no biggie right? But at the same time I don't really miss it either and I did find it awfully dehydrating and somewhat self-degrading, so it was easy to quit.
Swearing, another thing that I did on rare occasions, felt bad for and did not miss. Easy to let go of.
These were small minor things in my life that didn't make much of a difference when I stipped doing them, because I didn't do them much anyway.
Wasting food is harder, I just need to convince my grandma to stop buying so much. I don't eat a lot either, which makes it a bit tricky because stuff goes off before I get around to eating it, and I find myself over-eating to try to finish it all. I can't find anyone else who wants it either.
However, there were things I did/do a lot that I have learned to be wrong (that I may have had an inkling were wrong anyway but did not provoke a conscious response) that were/are very big parts of my life. Some without me even realizing it.
1) Interaction with non-mahram males. I considered them my brothers, sure, in a figurative sense. Definitely non-romantic, at least from my perspective. I obviously can't say for sure what they were thinking but I don't think it was anything romantic or sexual. One of my weekly classes involves physical contact. The teacher does a good job of keeping contact limited and if possible pairing males with males and females with females. But most times there are more males there so occasionally I get paired with a male. There was one occasion where I got paired with this one particular guy and I have no idea what happened but I just didn't want to work with him. No offence intended to the guy but working with him made me feel creeped out. If I ask if I can be paired with females only I don't think there would be much of a problem, but would the lack of mahram males and the presence of non-mahram males make it impermissible for me to attend? We are all told to wear loose clothes so there is no requirement for me or anyone else to be dressed inappropriately, but I'm not sure if that makes it okay.
2) Drawing animals. I know I have posted about this before, but it's getting the better of me now, I really liked drawing animals. I was doing okay for a while, but now I'm finding myself with all these ideas and having to suppress them and it's really difficult for me to not express these ideas on paper when I have any access to them. Alhamdulilah I haven't given in yet (except in a dream, not real life). I'm not asking for any advice here, actually I'm just having a whinge about it, because it's eating away at me.
3) There is a third very bad thing, but I won't directly say what it is. It does take up a portion of my life and I think it's the hardest thing to quit. No it's not cigarettes. I'm not sure how anybody can help with this but if you think you have any general advice I'd like to try it.