unknown_JJ
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- Islam
Assalam Alaikum brothers and sisters,
It is our duty to raise our children in the best way possible and enlighten them to the path of Allah. It is necessary to make this investment from a very early age so the beliefs are well settled by the time reach youth. Without doubt we will be questioned on the day of judgment about how we raised our children, from naming them to teaching them how to read the Quran to what actions we did to prepare them for this life and the next.
A couple of important decisions we need to make for our children are which school they go to and which friends they make.
Choosing a School:
The father should strive to carefully choose a good school for his child,
thus selecting the one that is of the finest quality and not necessarily
the one that is closest to him. He should also ask those involved in the
field of teaching and educating, who are sincere and honest, as to which of
the schools is the best.
School has a deep impact on a student since it is there that he spends a
quarter of his day – which is in fact the best time of the day. In the
school he learns and is educated, and that is the place where he finds
friends and companions.
So based on this, the father must keep a close connection with the school
by going to visit it, staying in contact with it by phone and asking about
the state of his son or daughter. He should be concerned with asking about
his child’s character, behavior and friends before asking about his grades.
He should also follow up on his child’s educational development and
studies, and check his notes and homework and be aware of the remarks the
teacher makes to his child’s work so that he may correct it.
So your concern with your child’s studies and your solid relationship with
his school, his teachers, his schoolwork, and his levels of education is a
good that will assist in his well-being and learning, by the will of
Allaah.
Choosing a Friend:
From the things in which there is no doubt is that a friend has a profound
effect on an individual – whether positive or negative. Sufficient to
clarify this point is the statement of the Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) when he said: “The example of the righteous companion and the evil
companion is like that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith.” [Reported by
Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]
The Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) also said: “A man is upon the
religion of his close friend, so let each of you look into whom he takes as
a close friend.” [Reported by Abu Dawood]
Therefore, O father, it is incumbent upon you to look for a good friend and
a sincere companion for your child before he chooses one on his own, for he
may choose the wrong ones and then grow attached to them, after which it
will be hard for you to separate them.
There are many accounts, too numerous to be recorded, in which children
were raised in good environments and in conservative households but ended
up mixing with bad companions on the pretext that they were going on a trip
or an outing with them or using the excuse that they wanted to play with
them or have fun with them or study with them. And the end result of this
was that they had a negative effect on them.
In these days it is extremely difficult for a father to raise his child in
exclusion of friends. Trials and temptations constantly surround the youth
from all directions.
Bad friends can either be people who are engulfed in their desires or in
misconceptions. If they are those who are given into whims and desires,
they will lead your child towards mischief and a digression from good
character. As for those who follow misconceptions, they will lead your
child towards innovations and opposing the guidance of the pious
predecessors (Salaf as-Saalih). Perhaps he may even fall into the acts of
declaring Muslims disbelievers and innovators. This particularly applies to
the members of those methodologies that are foreign to this country (i.e.
Saudi Arabia), as has occurred to some of our youth, may Allaah guide them
and return them back to the truth.
In conclusion, I ask Allaah to rectify for all of us our intentions and
offspring, and that He forgive our parents, granting them the best of
rewards on our behalf. I ask Allaah to assist us in being dutiful to them
during their lives as well as after their deaths.
I also ask Allaah to aid us in raising our children upon the Qur’aan and
the Sunnah and to make them righteous offspring and an enjoyment to our
eyes in this life by, through their uprightness, and after death, through
their righteous deeds.
May the peace and praises of Allaah be upon our prophet Muhammad.
It is our duty to raise our children in the best way possible and enlighten them to the path of Allah. It is necessary to make this investment from a very early age so the beliefs are well settled by the time reach youth. Without doubt we will be questioned on the day of judgment about how we raised our children, from naming them to teaching them how to read the Quran to what actions we did to prepare them for this life and the next.
A couple of important decisions we need to make for our children are which school they go to and which friends they make.
Choosing a School:
The father should strive to carefully choose a good school for his child,
thus selecting the one that is of the finest quality and not necessarily
the one that is closest to him. He should also ask those involved in the
field of teaching and educating, who are sincere and honest, as to which of
the schools is the best.
School has a deep impact on a student since it is there that he spends a
quarter of his day – which is in fact the best time of the day. In the
school he learns and is educated, and that is the place where he finds
friends and companions.
So based on this, the father must keep a close connection with the school
by going to visit it, staying in contact with it by phone and asking about
the state of his son or daughter. He should be concerned with asking about
his child’s character, behavior and friends before asking about his grades.
He should also follow up on his child’s educational development and
studies, and check his notes and homework and be aware of the remarks the
teacher makes to his child’s work so that he may correct it.
So your concern with your child’s studies and your solid relationship with
his school, his teachers, his schoolwork, and his levels of education is a
good that will assist in his well-being and learning, by the will of
Allaah.
Choosing a Friend:
From the things in which there is no doubt is that a friend has a profound
effect on an individual – whether positive or negative. Sufficient to
clarify this point is the statement of the Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa
sallam) when he said: “The example of the righteous companion and the evil
companion is like that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith.” [Reported by
Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]
The Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) also said: “A man is upon the
religion of his close friend, so let each of you look into whom he takes as
a close friend.” [Reported by Abu Dawood]
Therefore, O father, it is incumbent upon you to look for a good friend and
a sincere companion for your child before he chooses one on his own, for he
may choose the wrong ones and then grow attached to them, after which it
will be hard for you to separate them.
There are many accounts, too numerous to be recorded, in which children
were raised in good environments and in conservative households but ended
up mixing with bad companions on the pretext that they were going on a trip
or an outing with them or using the excuse that they wanted to play with
them or have fun with them or study with them. And the end result of this
was that they had a negative effect on them.
In these days it is extremely difficult for a father to raise his child in
exclusion of friends. Trials and temptations constantly surround the youth
from all directions.
Bad friends can either be people who are engulfed in their desires or in
misconceptions. If they are those who are given into whims and desires,
they will lead your child towards mischief and a digression from good
character. As for those who follow misconceptions, they will lead your
child towards innovations and opposing the guidance of the pious
predecessors (Salaf as-Saalih). Perhaps he may even fall into the acts of
declaring Muslims disbelievers and innovators. This particularly applies to
the members of those methodologies that are foreign to this country (i.e.
Saudi Arabia), as has occurred to some of our youth, may Allaah guide them
and return them back to the truth.
In conclusion, I ask Allaah to rectify for all of us our intentions and
offspring, and that He forgive our parents, granting them the best of
rewards on our behalf. I ask Allaah to assist us in being dutiful to them
during their lives as well as after their deaths.
I also ask Allaah to aid us in raising our children upon the Qur’aan and
the Sunnah and to make them righteous offspring and an enjoyment to our
eyes in this life by, through their uprightness, and after death, through
their righteous deeds.
May the peace and praises of Allaah be upon our prophet Muhammad.
