sousukeaizen
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Asalamualaikum, brothers and sisters,
I just joined the forum today specifically because I wanted to ask a question. But this question begins with a story. Firstly, let me start by saying my father has been acting very different. I JUST turned 16, and ever since last year, he has been acting very differently. He is mean, raises his voice at me for no reason, and is very hypocritical; he now does all the things he told us not to do. In addition, he doesn't see me as his son; all he sees me as is someone to make the family money and eventually move on and become a success in life. He treats me like a thing rather than a person. Anyway, my friend and I have had a plan for some time now. Just today, my dad made me feel INCREDIBLY INCREDIBLY INCREDIBLY guilty about going with him. He said that I would probably miss Tharaweeh, and tonight could be Laylat al Qadr. He said to do whatever I wanted, but I knew he would make me feel even more guilty if I went with my friend. Pushing him aside, I told myself that Allah (SWT) has helped me through the most difficult parts of my life, and this would be the least I could do for Him. Making the decision for the glory of Allah (SWT) and not my father, I cancelled with my friend who is not quite upset with me. Anyway, I shoved my selfish ambitions and told myself that this for my Rabb. I am ready to leave for Tharaweeh, and my dad tells me that he is not feeling well all of a sudden and we cannot go. First off, I know he's faking it because I've lived with him for 16 years and I know when he's serious and when he is not; that's not the part I'm concerned about. Even if he really was, the symptoms he had would have taken hours and even days to come up, there's no way he could have just gotten them out of the blue. So either he had them the whole time, or was faking all together. Either way, I am distraught. I cannot please Allah (SWT) and I have a close friend that is now mad at me. I cannot help feeling immense hatred and disgust towards my father. I would never hope for ill will on him, but I do not desire for Allah (SWT) to forgive him for what he has done. Personally, I am shaken, distraught, and furious. I hate my father very much right now, but I know it's not Islamic. Please help. May Allah (SWT) bless and guide all you, my dear brothers and sisters.
I just joined the forum today specifically because I wanted to ask a question. But this question begins with a story. Firstly, let me start by saying my father has been acting very different. I JUST turned 16, and ever since last year, he has been acting very differently. He is mean, raises his voice at me for no reason, and is very hypocritical; he now does all the things he told us not to do. In addition, he doesn't see me as his son; all he sees me as is someone to make the family money and eventually move on and become a success in life. He treats me like a thing rather than a person. Anyway, my friend and I have had a plan for some time now. Just today, my dad made me feel INCREDIBLY INCREDIBLY INCREDIBLY guilty about going with him. He said that I would probably miss Tharaweeh, and tonight could be Laylat al Qadr. He said to do whatever I wanted, but I knew he would make me feel even more guilty if I went with my friend. Pushing him aside, I told myself that Allah (SWT) has helped me through the most difficult parts of my life, and this would be the least I could do for Him. Making the decision for the glory of Allah (SWT) and not my father, I cancelled with my friend who is not quite upset with me. Anyway, I shoved my selfish ambitions and told myself that this for my Rabb. I am ready to leave for Tharaweeh, and my dad tells me that he is not feeling well all of a sudden and we cannot go. First off, I know he's faking it because I've lived with him for 16 years and I know when he's serious and when he is not; that's not the part I'm concerned about. Even if he really was, the symptoms he had would have taken hours and even days to come up, there's no way he could have just gotten them out of the blue. So either he had them the whole time, or was faking all together. Either way, I am distraught. I cannot please Allah (SWT) and I have a close friend that is now mad at me. I cannot help feeling immense hatred and disgust towards my father. I would never hope for ill will on him, but I do not desire for Allah (SWT) to forgive him for what he has done. Personally, I am shaken, distraught, and furious. I hate my father very much right now, but I know it's not Islamic. Please help. May Allah (SWT) bless and guide all you, my dear brothers and sisters.
eace: