regarding our marriage

[anonymous]

salaam alayikum,

regarding to our marriage as we have been married recently alhamduillah. Now, i am starting to feel my heart wear out and i am not sure if it is normal or not.
before marriage, i thought her personality suits me and it was fine. after marriage for some months later, it shows me the whole of her personality which i dont really suit or fit in because of personality clash. I mean, is that normal when that happen after marriage? There are things that i like and there are things that she dosent like. When there is a personality clash, i feel the love is starting to wear because is there any way how we are going to be suitable for "personality needs" Is that normal for women and men who dosent show their personality 100% before marriage?
i just feel like i dont know what to do with our marriage as i start to feel like cant be bothered etc etc. please advice me as i dont know what to do... I always wondered that is there a girl who have the same personality as mine that actually suit to each other, i felt like i married a wrong person?

Thanks

JazakAllah khair.

 

[SFatima]

It happens all the time! No two people are alike, we don't always agree with our parents, siblings are friends. Similar personalities can also get boring.. No need to worry about it, dont ignore her good points, she may be ignoring the flaws in you too, who knows. We are not perfect, there is no perfect couple.

 

[tigerkhan]

^ agreed.
u may think if u go for someone else and agian same pbm occur bcz no 2 ppl in d world are identical in like and dislikes.

 

[Ali_008]

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No believing man should hate a believing woman; if he hates one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.”
Reported by Muslim, 2672

It keeps happening in marriage. Shaytaan is always around to pop in his waswaas in our heads. And as the saying goes, "the grass on the other side is always green". Man is an ungrateful and ignoble creature. Feels he's always deprived. Don't get carried away with those thoughts easily. What matters the most is that you develop trust and respect between yourself and your wife. With that in the middle, no satan's whispers can harm you much. And no two people are alike, you do have to learn to make adjustments. Remember, it isn't a one way road. What you give is what you receive.

 

[ardianto]

Wife : After we married for a month I just realize, you are too lazy to brush your teeth.
Husband : This is my bad habit since i was kid.
Wife : But why didn't you tell me you have this bad habit ?
Husband : Because you never asked me about it.

The dialog above is just illustration, but based on real situation that happened to many new married couple. Many new married persons were shocked after they know their partners have bad habit that they never knew before. Not because their their partners hide it, but because they didn't try to know.

Bro, I can understand if you dislike some of your wife bad habit. And what you should do ?. Tell her, of course. But, ....... always in good manner. Don't angry to her but tell her softly.

And how if your personality not matched with your wife personality ?

My brother, there is no any married couple who have personalities that really matched each other. But they could deal with these differences.

Okay, I have a true story. I and my wife were classmate in high school, we have know each other long time before we married. But it doesn't mean there is no difference between us.

One day, prior to our wedding, my wife told me "Difference between us is too far, like the earth and the sky". And I replied "The earth is far from the sky, the sky is far from the earth, the earth below, the sky above. But both meet in the horizon and become a beautiful panorama".

That's the key to deal with differences between husband and wife. Find the horizon. If the wife is talkative and the husband is quiet person, the horizon is the wife talk and the husband listen.

 

[Ansariyah]

Newly weds fight that's normal! My brother is a newly wed and he jokes that he and his wife fight daily lol. But he loves her so much!

Insha'Allah if you stay patient and stick by each other this will strengthen your marriage. You are in the process of getting to know other so it's normal.=)

You make life beautiful by doing nice things for each other, you don't give up (if the person is worth it).