Relationships

[AnonymousPoster]

Salaam Brother and Sisters

I am new to this forum and have just joined.

I wanted some advice about some problems I am going through with my mum.

I don't really know where to begin because the problems have been going on for a long time now.

My mum just won't talk to me she thinks if she say something I will get depressed. I do suffer from depression.

My mum is staying with me because I have a baby son and she looks after him while I am at work. I have a brother who is married and she always favours him and will do anything for him. I have two daughters and after 18 years I have had mashalla a son and my brother is jealous. My brother and babhi don't talk to me. My mum makes me so depressed she does not say one word to me.

I have tried so hard to make a mother and daughter relationship but the relationship just seem to be getting worse.

I really don't know what to do. I am so depressed and feel like crying all the time. The atomsphere at home is so tense and miserable.

Pls help and advise me on what to do.

My story is so long it goes back 15 years.

 

[fahmeena]

I would like to sympathize with you for your situation and I would like to let you know that I have a cousin who has also been going through a similar situation.
Her parents are not very happy with her infact they dont speak to her at all. She has 3 kids, 2 girls and one boy. Her parents take care of the kids at all times because she suffers from 3 degree depression according to her doctors. To make long story short, the more depressed you are, the easier it is for you to indulge yourself into things that will of absolute disadvantage for you.

Please try to concentrate and focus all your energy and free time on prayers and guidance from God and his book (Qur'an). This will help you in multiple ways. For starters, you will have Wudu at all times which means that you will have this shield of protection around you which will keep you away from harming yourself when you are depressed. The power of Wudu can even lift away the sadness from your face and give you a glow that might help your family see the best of you.

1. It will increase your knowledge of the Holy Book and give you more strength.
2. This will show your mom that you are taking the right steps to bring your life back on track which might make her talk to you more.
3. It will bring your kids closer to you.
4. You can relate to your kids through the way of Islam.
5. You will gain more respect in your house from your family members because this way, they will feel like you are atleast trying to head in the right direction.
6. The closer you get to Allah (SWT) and his Messanger and the Qur'an, the more help you will recieve from it.

God has mysterious ways of helping someone in need. You have to reach out to Him in order for Him to help you. You take one step towards Him and He will take a leap towards you. Please make dua for God to forgive you for anything that might have displeased him and just keep praying and giving to charity and making dua. You might not see the results in two days but I am sure it will make a huge difference shortly after.

I hope this helps. Please let me know if you need anything else. I will be more than happy to help.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Assalamu Alaikum

you know ive noticed sometimes its due to a lack of sincerely praying and having patience for the problem. If you stayed patient and behaved well them them all, and just made a lot of dua' i bet they would realise what they are doing is wrong.


i hope you can turn things around, i know jelousy is injust, it destroys all. I hope you can persevere through this..

Assalamu Alaikum

 

[Snowflake]

salam sis,

If you don't mind me asking, where is your husband in all this? And whose decision was it that your mum cares for your son? Surely that shows she cares -regardless of whose decison it was. Sister, with all due respect, it isn't easy to do what your mother is doing. I can figure roughly her age at present. If the choice wasn't hers, then maybe she resents looking after a small child at this age? But she won't say as she doesn't want to hurt you?

Plus, do you have to work? Do you not have a husband to support you? If no, then is it possible you can put your child in a creche/nursery? That way your mom won't have to deal with your mother's coldness every day and with the distance created and less stress for all involved, you can start building a new relationship with her.