I am having bad thoughts and these thoughts a destructive thoughts and doubts about my religion and I think of them on purpose. Thoughts such as rude thoughts about the prophet (SAW) Allah and the Quran especially about the Quran I don't know why I think of doing such evil sins things in my head that is Kufr but I'm sure it's because of my heart has darkened due to the mistakes I have made and now I feel like a full hypocrite because of how far apart I am from Allah. I have given up on my mistakes and currently trying to fix things but I still worry that I have fallen into kufr multiple times and became a hypocrite that can't be helped.