:wa:
Sister Olivia thank you so much for understanding what I'm trying to say
May Allaah give you jannat...firdaws....ameen
I wonder what's going to happen to people like us on judgement day
May Allaah give you comfort in this dunya...And the next life for comforting me sister...
Amen
Salamualaikum Sister Desert.
Ive had the same question about what will happen to people with mental illness on the Day of Judgement. Will the world finally see that all those stupid decisions I made and every nonsensical thing I said was the result of an imperfect brain rather than through my own free will? Will Allah punish them for saying cruel things to me, saying I have a jinn inside me or I have weak Iman?
Those are are issues that I’ve thought about in the past, but when this life is over, I don’t think I will care anymore. Everyone has done things they are not proud of, and I don’t want anyone to suffer in the Akhirah on my account. I prefer to forgive them and hope that Allah will make my status even higher in Jannah.
As for my compensation on the Day of judgement, I believe Allah will be fair. Most People who have gone through both physical and psychological torture say that the psychological torture was far worse than physical. And depending on what kind of illness you have, you could be in a permanent state of psychological torture. Allah is fully aware of how much you are suffering. And He will compensate you accordingly.
There is a Hadith (I have to look up the source) stating that if people knew how much compensation they would receive in the akhirah for having suffered in the world, they would wish they had been cut to pieces. Imagine what kind of reward you would get from being patient and trusting Allah through intense pain that no one around you can see or understand.
There is another hadith which states that people on the day of judgement would wish they had received nothing in this world and saved all their rewards for the hereafter when they see how the poor of this world are compensated. I don’t know about you, but after my mental illness became apparent, any hopes and dreams that I had were all thrown out the window. I literally have nothing (materialistic) to live for. My hope is that Allah has saved my reward for the Hereafter.
Which brings me to my third point. I have often felt that I don’t want to be alive at all. I have nothing to live for, I might as well die right now and live the real life in Jannah, right? Well, I can’t. Because I don’t have the right to take my own life. Don’t you think Allah will compensate you for not having ended your life early just for His sake? Every breath that you take, you will be rewarded. Because you did not continue living because you enjoyed the world, you continued out of faith.
Imagine a a person who loves their life, who thinks of Allah for a few minutes at every prayer, perhaps reading Quran everyday, and even volunteering their time and money to help others. Would they have done those good deeds if they did not enjoy doing them? Do they get compensated for getting up in the morning, for driving to work, for playing with their kids? Would they have done these things anyway even if they were not hoping for any reward from Allah?
Compare that to a person who’s every waking moment was filled with hoping that death was coming soon. Simply living becomes a form of jihad. Every move you make is only done out of love for Allah, rather than any worldly benefit. Do you think getting up in the morning for a suicidal person will bring the same reward as the person who enjoyed doing it? Who put in greater effort?
Allah knows what each of us can handle, and He knows what each of us needs to get to the highest parts of Jannah. I hope that when you get there you look back and say thank god I had a mental illness, because without it I wouldn’t have come so far.
Im here if you want to talk. Keep in touch.
Salamualaikum
