Salaam all, this is my first thread

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true_muslimmah

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:sl: and Ramadhan Kareem to you all, May Allah SWT accept all your du'aas and reward you all in abundance in this life and the hereafter Ameen

Before i start i will introduce myself a little bit, so you will know a little about me :)

Well, i am a 20 year old practising muslimmah Alhamdulillah, i have always been a believer but i have done some very bad things in the past which i repent to Allah SWT so much that He will forgive me for it, and my past i shall keep between me and Allah SWT.

Well i have many problems to start off with, i don't really have anyone to turn around to as i am not close to my family siblings as their thinking about this life is nothing compared to mine and there is a lot of rivalry and jealous going on between us sisters which i mus tadmit is very sad :raging:

What is a better to place then this, i am always on this site but im more of a reader then a poster lol

Anyways, here it is, i want to get married, and i have had sabr for more then a year now but nothing seems to be happening. i know with the will of Allah SWT it will happen when it is meant to be, but it isnt that.

My mum and my sister's/in law are making it really hard for me. I know someone i want to marry, my parents know who it is but they have not payed any heed to what i want, i respect them in everyway as possible, but their sick mentality is really annoying now, when it comes to marriage they care more about culture then islam it self, Astagfirullah, May Allah SWT guide them all.

What shall i do, othere then that i have another 1001 problems,

:w:
 
salam sister. looks like you really have 1001 problems. why dont you start with your 1st and step by step hopefully...
 
Kasim said:
salam sister. looks like you really have 1001 problems. why dont you start with your 1st and step by step hopefully...
Click to expand...

lol, ye its true bro

Well i forgot to meantion i am a severly deaf muslimmah, i can talk well alhamdulillah but just my hearing totally dead,

I dunno where to start, this marriage thing is my biggest concern, you know i always thought your family are meant to be your family, but i feel no love from them at all, then i have a big sister who says i am lying about my deafness for attention, subhanAllah, why would i do such a thing?
 
true_muslimmah said:
lol, ye its true bro

Well i forgot to meantion i am a severly deaf muslimmah, i can talk well alhamdulillah but just my hearing totally dead,

I dunno where to start, this marriage thing is my biggest concern, you know i always thought your family are meant to be your family, but i feel no love from them at all, then i have a big sister who says i am lying about my deafness for attention, subhanAllah, why would i do such a thing?
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unfortunately this happens more in asian society. they think your perfect and they want you to be perfect. anything wrong they dont wanna admit it. im with you on that sister. but posts and forums are readable. no hearing involved :statisfie
 
Salam sis, Welcome.

Sorry bout ur troubles:(. I pray that Allah grants u happiness amiin. You can always tell us ur problems InshaAllah.:sunny:

Allah will protect u from them inshaAllah.
 
true_muslimmah said:
lol, ye its true bro

Well i forgot to meantion i am a severly deaf muslimmah, i can talk well alhamdulillah but just my hearing totally dead,

I dunno where to start, this marriage thing is my biggest concern, you know i always thought your family are meant to be your family, but i feel no love from them at all, then i have a big sister who says i am lying about my deafness for attention, subhanAllah, why would i do such a thing?
Click to expand...

stay strong sister and inshallah you will cope
 
Jzk for you kind words bro and sis, it feel's so nice to be appreciated,

Maybe this is all my fault , maybe because of my sins i had commited in the past, i am having to go through all this,

042: 030
Any misfortune that happnes to you is a consequence of what your hand have earned. And He overlooks much...

also
282
Allah does not place a burden upon a person which he is capable,
 
Kasim said:
unfortunately this happens more in asian society. they think your perfect and they want you to be perfect. anything wrong they dont wanna admit it. im with you on that sister. but posts and forums are readable. no hearing involved :statisfie
Click to expand...

True, i am trying my best to change my mum's thinking, i have been doing for a long time. My other siblings dont seem to bother with it, but i am just fed up.

Why cant they follow the laws of Allah SWT and for once put culture aside as their will be more reward for them?
 
I feel sooooo sad and lonely, and i just feel like crying my eyes out, I know Allah SWT is with me and He always will be but i need some1 in a human form u get me...??

The only person i have is my cousin but she lives miles away and i am not even allowed to see her either :cry:

This is another problem i have. The problem isnt me but my sister/in law and mum's problem. I dont know why my mum has sudden hatred for her own neice, i mean my mum always let me used2 go down and stay at her house, my mum was always praising our r'ship but since all this marriage stuff that kicked off, it's all gone wrong.

Why are Paki families like this? Im proud to be a Muslim but hate being a Pakistani, they are the worst i must admit :-[
 
true_muslimmah said:
I feel sooooo sad and lonely, and i just feel like crying my eyes out, I know Allah SWT is with me and He always will be but i need some1 in a human form u get me...??

The only person i have is my cousin but she lives miles away and i am not even allowed to see her either :cry:

This is another problem i have. The problem isnt me but my sister/in law and mum's problem. I dont know why my mum has sudden hatred for her own neice, i mean my mum always let me used2 go down and stay at her house, my mum was always praising our r'ship but since all this marriage stuff that kicked off, it's all gone wrong.

Why are Paki families like this? Im proud to be a Muslim but hate being a Pakistani, they are the worst i must admit :-[
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sister allah is with you and he has provided you with us for advice
 
Ahmedjunior said:
sister allah is with you and he has provided you with us for advice
Click to expand...

give me as much advice as possible, sometimes i really need some one to show me right the way, in accordance with Islam of course, and i ponder over it and think hard and then put it into action to see the outcome, but i dont have anyone like that,

I hardly have any freinds anymore, and the ones i do have are not practising muslimmahs themselves :(

I turn to Allah like 1000times i day, i cry, i talk2 Him constantly and then i feel better for abit, but then again as soon as something else happens im back to step 1
 
assalamalikm sister, im sorry to hear about your situation, and i hope it gets better for, i cant imagine how hard it is for you, everyone against you all the time , when we can see clearly you are in the right, you just wanna be a good person,

I guess you have to be patient, like the rest of us, theres a lot of us wanting to get marrried sister, and have been waiting years for it,

I think personally when people start practising , the need to get married increases,
because you dont want to fall in sin, you want to lower your gaze and be chaste.
Most of all its nice to have some help in maintaining your deen

You just be trying to be a good person ok, keep trying
 
:sl:

Perhaps you think you have waited long enough. Sister, our reward is in the Hereafter. This world may not work out for the better. We wait and wait, nothing changes. I'm not trying to be pessimistic, only realistic. It's really important to prepare your faith for the winds of calamity. For this world is a test! Anything can happen. When you say the Shahadah, are you ready? While Islam emphasizes the balance of the matters of the dunya and the Hereafter, there are tests which confirm if you are ready to give up this dunya for Islam. But sister, how long have you waited really? Prophet Nuh preached Islam to the men and women of his region for hundreds of years! And do you know how followers he had? Only a few while all the rest perished in the flood. Hundreds of years!?!?! Can you imagine that? That is true patience. In this world, parents start beating their children and lose their temper when their child does not eat their vegetables after five minutes.

My family is the same. We have the modern conservative view of marriage and life. My parents believe that if you want a career you have practically wait until your late 20s, 27, 28 to start searching. :skeleton: Sometimes, I wonder if they've forgotten how pushing the western world is of haram relationships. It's very hard to deal with all this lust/attraction nonsense and not fall trap to it. For Muslims, marriage is the best halal solution. If it helps us, many of us have odd families that either push for marriage for unIslamic reasons or never talk about marriage, expecting to you to live in box or as a target, while the Western world tempts you.

Pray sister, say du'as. Don't be too sad <3. Be grateful for what you already have. They are people who die with husbands and Islam! Astagfiruallah. =) .
InshaAllah, you may find a suitable husband, while keeping to the straight path.

Oh, it is difficult to be a practicing Muslim and living among others. So many of us feel lonely. But Remebrance of Allah (swt) keeps the hearts calm and remember He is the Best Helper, rather than sketchy or not so good friends =). Prophets before you have called people to Islam and practiced but on the Day of Judgement, they will be standing there with one or a few followers. Imagine their life, having no one but Allah (swt). But what is worldly life to the Hereafter! nothing! They are in Heaven and they had to suffer that little much so they could enjoy for so long in Heaven =).

:w:
 
transition? said:
:sl:

Perhaps you think you have waited long enough. Sister, our reward is in the Hereafter. This world may not work out for the better. We wait and wait, nothing changes. I'm not trying to be pessimistic, only realistic. It's really important to prepare your faith for the winds of calamity. For this world is a test! Anything can happen. When you say the Shahadah, are you ready? While Islam emphasizes the balance of the matters of the dunya and the Hereafter, there are tests which confirm if you are ready to give up this dunya for Islam. But sister, how long have you waited really? Prophet Nuh preached Islam to the men and women of his region for hundreds of years! And do you know how followers he had? Only a few while all the rest perished in the flood. Hundreds of years!?!?! Can you imagine that? That is true patience. In this world, parents start beating their children and lose their temper when their child does not eat their vegetables after five minutes.

My family is the same. We have the modern conservative view of marriage and life. My parents believe that if you want a career you have practically wait until your late 20s, 27, 28 to start searching. :skeleton: Sometimes, I wonder if they've forgotten how pushing the western world is of haram relationships. It's very hard to deal with all this lust/attraction nonsense and not fall trap to it. For Muslims, marriage is the best halal solution. If it helps us, many of us have odd families that either push for marriage for unIslamic reasons or never talk about marriage, expecting to you to live in box or as a target, while the Western world tempts you.

Pray sister, say du'as. Don't be too sad <3. Be grateful for what you already have. They are people who die with husbands and Islam! Astagfiruallah. =) .
InshaAllah, you may find a suitable husband, while keeping to the straight path.

Oh, it is difficult to be a practicing Muslim and living among others. So many of us feel lonely. But Remebrance of Allah (swt) keeps the hearts calm and remember He is the Best Helper, rather than sketchy or not so good friends =). Prophets before you have called people to Islam and practiced but on the Day of Judgement, they will be standing there with one or a few followers. Imagine their life, having no one but Allah (swt). But what is worldly life to the Hereafter! nothing! They are in Heaven and they had to suffer that little much so they could enjoy for so long in Heaven =).

:w:
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Jzk bro, that was really helpful, though my knowledge of Islam is nothing compared to the level of yours but i am always willing to learn new stuff, my parents did not allow me to go university either where i wanted to study islamic studies, at least something that will keep me busy and as long as i am leraning about the deen, that would have been very beneficial.

Rabi Zidni Ilma, i can only do so much du'aa that my parents will stop following culture for once, and as u have mentioned i have been waitng over 1year now, i have found who i want to marry, only my mum and sister/in law has made my mum go against me. I wasnt the sort of person who was desperate to get married but the situation is such that i can only think off getting married and moving out, live life afresh, complete half my deen.

My mum does not understand the hikmah behind marriage, its like this for her, its her honour at stake, what honour? She goes marry inside fam, her bro/sis will be happy and you will live happy with someone who is related to you, there will not be many problems, just for strengthning the families ties, i rejected 2 proposals both from my mum's sister who live back home and both are now married to someone else, and now she is emotinally blackmailing me that oh her sisters are not talking to her but i see her talking over the phone to them :enough!:

I am willing to suffer any hardship bro, i do du'aa that may Allah SWT give me the strength to go through whatever come my way and so far i have stood steadfast in my decision. I dont want be amongst those in the HellFire, Allahuma Ajirni Minanar.
 
Salam
It gets pretty messy when culture clashes with religion. I would advise you not to reject culture with your own statements, instead you should reject culture by quoting Quran and Hadith. Here, you can quote Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 67:
Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! How can we know her permission?" He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission)."
 
_ALI_ said:
Salam
It gets pretty messy when culture clashes with religion. I would advise you not to reject culture with your own statements, instead you should reject culture by quoting Quran and Hadith. Here, you can quote Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 67:
Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! How can we know her permission?" He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission)."
Click to expand...

:sl:

Like i said my knowledge of Islam is not very strong, so please forgive my ignorance if i show any in my posts.
 
ALI

Do you mean using my own statements when i am debating with my mum over all this marriage stuff?

Hell NO, i use Qur'anic references and hadiths, that i do know off :D i have actually researched this topic in depth but in others I lack :cry: but STILL my mum always backs it up with a CULTURAL excuses

Wrong right?
 
true_muslimmah said:
ALI

Do you mean using my own statements when i am debating with my mum over all this marriage stuff?

Hell NO, i use Qur'anic references and hadiths, that i do know off :D i have actually researched this topic in depth but in others I lack :cry: but STILL my mum always backs it up with a CULTURAL excuses

Wrong right?
Click to expand...

Your so in my situation. I debate with my mum too in the same way but people know in my family that i always win debating. You just gotta learn one or two things lol
 

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