Salaam all, this is my first thread

Kasim said:
Your so in my situation. I debate with my mum too in the same way but people know in my family that i always win debating. You just gotta learn one or two things lol
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lol, innit, even though my mum knows i am right she still comes up with these ridiculous excuses subhanAllah

May Allah guide them Ameen
 
Ameen. You should listen to more lectures and read salah in front of them or do things like that. Its just the old culture thing which is in their minds. Inshallah the coming generation will be good as there culture differences are disappearing.
My brother married to a gujjar girl while we are from some other culture race. Now this caused the biggest cultural explosion lol
 
haha kasim i can imagine, dunno why some families would rather stick to their culture more then they do to islam....with many its just keeping up an image so they look dont bad and people dont talk...anyhoo
muslimmah just pray to Allah (SWT) and Inshallah things will work out slowly. 1 year may seem very long to you, but in reality its a very small part of life.
 
true_muslimmah said:
Jzk bro, that was really helpful, though my knowledge of Islam is nothing compared to the level of yours but i am always willing to learn new stuff, my parents did not allow me to go university either where i wanted to study islamic studies, at least something that will keep me busy and as long as i am leraning about the deen, that would have been very beneficial.

Rabi Zidni Ilma, i can only do so much du'aa that my parents will stop following culture for once, and as u have mentioned i have been waitng over 1year now, i have found who i want to marry, only my mum and sister/in law has made my mum go against me. I wasnt the sort of person who was desperate to get married but the situation is such that i can only think off getting married and moving out, live life afresh, complete half my deen.

My mum does not understand the hikmah behind marriage, its like this for her, its her honour at stake, what honour? She goes marry inside fam, her bro/sis will be happy and you will live happy with someone who is related to you, there will not be many problems, just for strengthning the families ties, i rejected 2 proposals both from my mum's sister who live back home and both are now married to someone else, and now she is emotinally blackmailing me that oh her sisters are not talking to her but i see her talking over the phone to them :enough!:

I am willing to suffer any hardship bro, i do du'aa that may Allah SWT give me the strength to go through whatever come my way and so far i have stood steadfast in my decision. I dont want be amongst those in the HellFire, Allahuma Ajirni Minanar.
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:sl:
Aww Im a sister lol =)

:hug: I'm sorry for your predicament. People are just like that, even if they are your parents. Pray for your mom, and hope that she sees the light in this mess

aww, I don't have that much knowledge, sister. I, too, wish that I could study Islamic studies but there is so much confusion in the West, they almost never teach Islam properly. In fact, I've learned so much from downloading the e-books from this site! Sister, you should really take a look at that thread with the PDF files for many books!

:w:
May Allah (Swt) Guide Us
 
Sorry for not being on as my laptop at home does not work and the only time i have to reply to these replies are when i am at training.

There is alot more then the eye meets here, i have found out so much more, and i am left confused akhi/ukhti :cry:

I know that Allah is with me, my entire faith is in Him and He is enough for me, i know He is watching over me and Insha'Allah all in good time i know He will give me what is best for me, but sabr is so hard to keep these days.

Bro Kasim, I pray my salah with my mum 5x a day, on days that i cant i make up for it.

Sorry transition, i just assumed you were a bro for some reason :-[
 
true_muslimmah said:
True, i am trying my best to change my mum's thinking, i have been doing for a long time. My other siblings dont seem to bother with it, but i am just fed up.

Why cant they follow the laws of Allah SWT and for once put culture aside as their will be more reward for them?
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as salaam alaykum wa rehmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Culture doesn't entirely have to be put aside. As long as it does not violate the deen it is fine. As someone already mentioned, this occurs a lot in the Asian(South Asian more likely) community. I would know because my brother just got married but he had to face hell to achieve that.

I think the problem resides with lack of deen in the household. If someone read the words of Allah and understood them, then they would feel guilty for siding with anyone/thing/idea against Allah. You cannot have an immediate change even though we would like that. Maybe you should make a plan to slowly introduce deen in the house to fight the cultural nonsense that divides communities. Maybe find support among your cousins or aunts before you try to engage your mother.

And also keep making dua, istikhaara, and establishing your salah and inshaAllah help will come.

I pray that you find the solution to your problems and find a partner who loves Allah.

Last thing. My brother married a pakistani woman and her family is one of the best I have ever seen (amazing food hah). I know you are frustrated, but trust me this occurs everywhere. Don't single out any community. This is injustice.

wa alaykum as salaam.
 
SubhanAllah! said:
as salaam alaykum wa rehmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Culture doesn't entirely have to be put aside. As long as it does not violate the deen it is fine. As someone already mentioned, this occurs a lot in the Asian(South Asian more likely) community. I would know because my brother just got married but he had to face hell to achieve that.

I think the problem resides with lack of deen in the household. If someone read the words of Allah and understood them, then they would feel guilty for siding with anyone/thing/idea against Allah. You cannot have an immediate change even though we would like that. Maybe you should make a plan to slowly introduce deen in the house to fight the cultural nonsense that divides communities. Maybe find support among your cousins or aunts before you try to engage your mother.

And also keep making dua, istikhaara, and establishing your salah and inshaAllah help will come.

I pray that you find the solution to your problems and find a partner who loves Allah.

Last thing. My brother married a pakistani woman and her family is one of the best I have ever seen (amazing food hah). I know you are frustrated, but trust me this occurs everywhere. Don't single out any community. This is injustice.

wa alaykum as salaam.
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:sl:

I never said anything about culture doesn't entirely have to be put aside, that's true it doesn't, as long as it doesn't go against the laws set my Allah SWT right? I think you missed my point!

Like i think i mentioned in my other replies, my parents are Alhamdulillah practising muslims, they pray 5x and all that, but only when it comes to marriage, its like they dont know the first thing about it.

I am out of all my siblings the only practising one, I observe the hijab and jilbab, i love the Deen, everyone else are just doing as they please. Not giving a thought of where their life is going to end up. SubhanAllah.

I do du'aa that Allah guides them all and saves them from the Hellfire.

The only people i have on my side is my uncle's (mum's bro) family. They were just like my parents, but over the years they have noticed and changed their way of thinking. If they can do it, surely my parents can right?
 
Agreed that not all communities are like this, there are so many pakistani's just like you have mentioned who are nice, and some are very horrible and harsh. I know because i have seen it all with my own eyes. I have seen the pain and grief caused both my parents and their children when it comes to marriage?

If parents understood what marriage in Islam meant and EDUCATED us on the halal way of finding a spouse then maybe today it wouldnt have turned for the worst.

(i was never educated about anything, i educated myself, but it is the parents right to do so, they make it out as if it is shameful and disrespectful for us to talk about marriage to them)
 

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