I can't see how the topic of punishment for adultry is helping brother myaspires. He didn't ask anything of such but how to handle the issue islamically. Let's not draw his attention and ruin his peace of mind further with issues that he isn't concerned with. Please.
Seeking Islamic ways in handling wife with affairs...
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Tania
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I still think we should be cautious because even the love is not define. The eternal question : What is love- for more reference visit bro Muezzin page.
Secondly we have here a jealous over protective husband which did something otherwise would not check up his wife cell phone. I would not like if my personal things would be check up by my husband. I expect to have certain privacy in marriage too.
Last line: she is a good wife, her husband could not make any complaint regarding her behaviour at home. Sometimes in life we needs little bumps to realise how close to our heart is a person. Only when you could loose someone forever you can appreciate him /her correctly.
My opinion: lets say i will become talkative with a man. My husband will decide to punish me throwing me in that hole with stones. I will never regret what i did because i would despise the fact i could marry with a man for which my entire time dedicated to him ment nothing. the big 0.
You're right we have NO knowledge let alone four witnesses to prove the wive's adultry. Then how does punishment come into it?
Bear in mind there are different types of zina, but the punishment you are refering to is for unlawful sexual intercourse. That is not the case as far as the brother is concerned.
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To say he is not concerned with adultry would not be honest even if he said it himself. And if you are ever in this situation and require 4 witnesses when you can see it for yourself, well then, good luck with that. Personally, I would need only one witness......me. It would be foolish to wait for witnesses when they were hiding the affair.
I am not saying he should whip her a hundred times. I would advise against it actually. All I did was provide the information. Clearly it is part of all that he must think about, and any man would be concerned about adultery in his situation.
Really? Could you provide some proof of that please? It is not applied to other types of sexual activity and betrayal in a marriage? Is there seperate punishments for a wife that does everything else sexually except intercourse with another man?
It seems unusual to me that generally speaking many people here feel that the covering of the woman's face is important, and lowering the gaze is very important, yet such inappropriate behaviour by a married woman seems to be defended.
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Panatella, if we're going to carry this discussion on - we might aswell do it in another thread, so please create one if you wish to carry it on.
Here's what the scholars say regarding zina:
Question:
I need further information about the verse interpreted here about adultery. Adultery, according to the Hudood I read, require penetration. Is that true of Islamic law?
Are married persons, or single for that case, indulging in immoral acts that do not include penetration (but maybe oral sex), exempted from this punishment?
Secondly, is there a forgiveness for adultery? Or for what I inquired in my previous question.
I'd be greatly obliged to recieve an answer, because this issue has confused me for a long time.
Answer:
Zinaa, in Arabic, means immorality, and is used with two meanings in shar’: a general meaning and a specific meaning.
The general meaning includes that which carries the punishment (hadd) and that which does not carry it. Islam does not give the name of zinaa only to that which carries the punishment, which is just one of many types of zinaa. Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “I have never heard any better definition of ‘small faults’ [al-Najm 53:32] than that which Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) narrated from the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): ‘Allaah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zinaa, and there is no way to escape from it. The zinaa of the eye is a glance, the zinaa of the tongue is speaking, and the zinaa of the mind is wishing and hoping; then the private part either acts upon this or it does not.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 11/26; Muslim, 4/2046).
Al-Bukhaari included this hadeeth in a chapter entitled Baab zinaa al-jawaarih doon al-farj (Chapter on the zinaa of faculties other than the private part).
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Zinaa is not always associated with the private part itself, but may involve other faculties such as the eyes and so on.”
Ibn Battaal (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Looking and speaking are called zinaa because they lead to real zinaa. This is why he said that the private part either acts upon this or it does not”
Zinaa is one of the forbidden deeds, one of the most serious major sins (kabaa’ir) after shirk and murder. Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings):
“And those who invoke not any other god along with Allaah, nor kill such life as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse – and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; except those who repent and believe and do righteous deeds, for those Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [al-Furqaan 25:68-70]
“And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah [anything that transgresses its limits – a great sin], and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allaah forgives him).” [al-Isra’ 17:32]
Imaam al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “The ‘ulama’ said that the phrase And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse is more eloquent than merely saying ‘Do not commit zinaa’, because the meaning is, Do not even come close to zinaa.” This means not doing any deed that may get close to zinaa or lead to it, such as being alone with a member of the opposite sex, touching, looking, going to evil places, speaking in a haraam manner to a woman to whom one is not related, thinking about and planning immoral acts, and so on.
‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: “I asked the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), ‘Which sin is worst in the sight of Allaah?’ He said, ‘To make any rival to Allaah, when He has created you.’ I asked, ‘Then what?’ He said, ‘To kill your child for fear that he will eat with you.’ I asked, ‘Then what?’ He said, ‘To commit zinaa with the wife of your neighbour.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 8/492; Muslim, 1/90).
All religions are agreed that zinaa is haraam; no religion allows it. The punishment for zinaa is the most severe of punishments, because it violates people’s honour and lineages.
The sin of zinaa may be of varying degrees, and the gravity of the offence depends on the nature and circumstances of the deed, although all zinaa is haraam, a major sin and an act of immorality.
Zinaa with a mahram [i.e., incest] (Allaah forbid) or with a married woman is far worse than zinaa with a woman to whom one is not related or with an unmarried woman, because it involves violating the rights of the husband, contaminating his bed, attributing a child to him that is not his, and other kinds of offence and harm. If her husband is a neighbour, the crime of being a bad neighbour is added to the offence; if her husband is one's brother or relative, the crime of breaking family ties is added.
The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: He will not enter Paradise whose neighbour is not safe from his evil actions.” (Reported by Muslim, 1/68).
There is no evil action worse than zinaa, and if the husband is absent for the sake of Allaah, such as in worship, seeking knowledge or jihaad, then the sin is compounded. Buraydah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: [FONT="]“The wives of the mujaahideen are as sacred and forbidden to those who stay behind as their own mothers. There is no man of those who stay behind who is entrusted by one of the mujaahideen with the care of his family and then betrays him (by committing zinaa), but he will be detained on the Day of Resurrection, and (the one whom he betrayed) will take as much of his good deeds as he wishes. So what do you think?[/FONT]” (Reported by Muslim, 3515).
If the adulterer is married, the sin is greater, and the punishment is stoning, and if he is an old man, the sin is greater and the punishment is as the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) mentioned in the hadeeth about the three whom Allaah will neither look at nor praise on the Day of Resurrection, and who will have a painful punishment.” (Saheeh Muslim, 156). If the deed is also committed during a sacred month or in a sacred place or at a time which is special in the sight of Allaah, the sin is compounded.
The fuqaha’ (may Allaah have mercy on them) stated that the basic act of zinaa which carries the punishment is illegal sexual intercourse, whereby the two “circumcised parts” [i.e. genitals] come together and there is penetration of the tip of the penis, because this is actual penetration (which carries the prescribed hadd or punishment).
A person must avoid evil deeds and everything that can lead to them. Allaah has commanded us to avoid the traps of the Shaytaan, because if a man takes one step in that direction, his shaytaan and his own ego (nafs) will keep urging him to do evil until he commits immoral deeds.
One should think about how serious it is to touch a woman to whom one is not related, as the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explained: “If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with a piece of iron it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman whom it is not permissible for him to touch.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045). This refers to the punishment for touching, so how about worse deeds, such as embracing and kissing, and even worse kinds of illicit activity? The Muslim qaadi is empowered to stipulate an appropriate punishment for every proven action other than actual intercourse; in the case of intercourse, the punishment set out by Islam is one hundred lashes and a year’s exile for one who is unmarried, and stoning for one who is married. This is the punishment in this world, and the punishment in the Hereafter is far more severe.
One of the important principles which the salaf (may Allaah have mercy on them) pointed out is that the sincere believer who truly hopes for Allaah and the Hereafter should not look at whether the sin is major or minor, or whether is carries a punishment (hadd) or not. It was reported that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “There is no major sin if one asks for forgiveness, and there is no minor sin if one persists in repeating it.”
Someone else said: “If you want to disobey Allaah, do not think about the smallness of the sin, think about the greatness of the One Whom you are disobeying.”
With regard to the matter of repentance from zinaa, please refer to the book "I Want to Repent, But...", …”, under the heading Books on this website. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=3013&ln=eng&txt=zina intercourse
I need further information about the verse interpreted here about adultery. Adultery, according to the Hudood I read, require penetration. Is that true of Islamic law?
Are married persons, or single for that case, indulging in immoral acts that do not include penetration (but maybe oral sex), exempted from this punishment?
Secondly, is there a forgiveness for adultery? Or for what I inquired in my previous question.
I'd be greatly obliged to recieve an answer, because this issue has confused me for a long time.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Zinaa, in Arabic, means immorality, and is used with two meanings in shar’: a general meaning and a specific meaning.
The general meaning includes that which carries the punishment (hadd) and that which does not carry it. Islam does not give the name of zinaa only to that which carries the punishment, which is just one of many types of zinaa. Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “I have never heard any better definition of ‘small faults’ [al-Najm 53:32] than that which Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) narrated from the Prophet
Al-Bukhaari included this hadeeth in a chapter entitled Baab zinaa al-jawaarih doon al-farj (Chapter on the zinaa of faculties other than the private part).
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Zinaa is not always associated with the private part itself, but may involve other faculties such as the eyes and so on.”
Ibn Battaal (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Looking and speaking are called zinaa because they lead to real zinaa. This is why he said that the private part either acts upon this or it does not”
Zinaa is one of the forbidden deeds, one of the most serious major sins (kabaa’ir) after shirk and murder. Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings):
“And those who invoke not any other god along with Allaah, nor kill such life as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse – and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; except those who repent and believe and do righteous deeds, for those Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [al-Furqaan 25:68-70]
“And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah [anything that transgresses its limits – a great sin], and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allaah forgives him).” [al-Isra’ 17:32]
Imaam al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “The ‘ulama’ said that the phrase And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse is more eloquent than merely saying ‘Do not commit zinaa’, because the meaning is, Do not even come close to zinaa.” This means not doing any deed that may get close to zinaa or lead to it, such as being alone with a member of the opposite sex, touching, looking, going to evil places, speaking in a haraam manner to a woman to whom one is not related, thinking about and planning immoral acts, and so on.
‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: “I asked the Messenger of Allaah
All religions are agreed that zinaa is haraam; no religion allows it. The punishment for zinaa is the most severe of punishments, because it violates people’s honour and lineages.
The sin of zinaa may be of varying degrees, and the gravity of the offence depends on the nature and circumstances of the deed, although all zinaa is haraam, a major sin and an act of immorality.
Zinaa with a mahram [i.e., incest] (Allaah forbid) or with a married woman is far worse than zinaa with a woman to whom one is not related or with an unmarried woman, because it involves violating the rights of the husband, contaminating his bed, attributing a child to him that is not his, and other kinds of offence and harm. If her husband is a neighbour, the crime of being a bad neighbour is added to the offence; if her husband is one's brother or relative, the crime of breaking family ties is added.
The Prophet
There is no evil action worse than zinaa, and if the husband is absent for the sake of Allaah, such as in worship, seeking knowledge or jihaad, then the sin is compounded. Buraydah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet
If the adulterer is married, the sin is greater, and the punishment is stoning, and if he is an old man, the sin is greater and the punishment is as the Prophet
The fuqaha’ (may Allaah have mercy on them) stated that the basic act of zinaa which carries the punishment is illegal sexual intercourse, whereby the two “circumcised parts” [i.e. genitals] come together and there is penetration of the tip of the penis, because this is actual penetration (which carries the prescribed hadd or punishment).
A person must avoid evil deeds and everything that can lead to them. Allaah has commanded us to avoid the traps of the Shaytaan, because if a man takes one step in that direction, his shaytaan and his own ego (nafs) will keep urging him to do evil until he commits immoral deeds.
One should think about how serious it is to touch a woman to whom one is not related, as the Prophet
One of the important principles which the salaf (may Allaah have mercy on them) pointed out is that the sincere believer who truly hopes for Allaah and the Hereafter should not look at whether the sin is major or minor, or whether is carries a punishment (hadd) or not. It was reported that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “There is no major sin if one asks for forgiveness, and there is no minor sin if one persists in repeating it.”
Someone else said: “If you want to disobey Allaah, do not think about the smallness of the sin, think about the greatness of the One Whom you are disobeying.”
With regard to the matter of repentance from zinaa, please refer to the book "I Want to Repent, But...", …”, under the heading Books on this website. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=3013&ln=eng&txt=zina intercourse
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I seek refuge in Allah (The One God) from the Satan (devil) the cursed, the rejected
With the name of ALLAH (swt) -The Bestower Of Unlimited Mercy, The Continously Merciful
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh (May the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you)
&&&
Oh brother , i hope u r not serious. Divorce should be the last resort.
The husband does not have any solid proof that she has an illegal sex life .....so why divorce ? If unfortunately she has a boyfried now , tell her that she is not allowed to do so as a Muslim husband can't have a girl friend . Talk to her directly......what's her problem ? Is she unhappy in her married life ? If yes , why ?
Sometimes , after having kids , wife or husband may not give much attention to each-other .....they become full-time parent that may cause problem. I mean , ur wife is not only a mother ...she is a wife , a young lady........may be , u fulfilled ur duty as a father...kid's dad but something was missing in ur part as a husband. Better u talk to a marriage counsellor .
U may talk to her openly .....really she loves someone else ? If u divorce her( just assume that if u do ) , will that person marry her & accept the kid etc , etc. Be open to her , if any solution does not come out , talk to her parents .
Also , offer extra prayer besides ur 5 times prayers & Ask Allah to help u both. May Allah have mercy on U & the kid. Ameen.
With the name of ALLAH (swt) -The Bestower Of Unlimited Mercy, The Continously Merciful
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh (May the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you)
&&&
Man I feel for you dude, I know what I'd do divorce the wifey and beat the guy senseless.
Oh brother , i hope u r not serious. Divorce should be the last resort.
The husband does not have any solid proof that she has an illegal sex life .....so why divorce ? If unfortunately she has a boyfried now , tell her that she is not allowed to do so as a Muslim husband can't have a girl friend . Talk to her directly......what's her problem ? Is she unhappy in her married life ? If yes , why ?
Sometimes , after having kids , wife or husband may not give much attention to each-other .....they become full-time parent that may cause problem. I mean , ur wife is not only a mother ...she is a wife , a young lady........may be , u fulfilled ur duty as a father...kid's dad but something was missing in ur part as a husband. Better u talk to a marriage counsellor .
U may talk to her openly .....really she loves someone else ? If u divorce her( just assume that if u do ) , will that person marry her & accept the kid etc , etc. Be open to her , if any solution does not come out , talk to her parents .
Also , offer extra prayer besides ur 5 times prayers & Ask Allah to help u both. May Allah have mercy on U & the kid. Ameen.
Tania, how reliable SMSes can be? SMSes can be fakes, SMSes are used to stir up propagandas, and what makes you think by just intruding into my wife's privacy and eluded her SMS messages gave me rigid proof that she is seeing this man?
Any religions, will want us to provide proofs before making a conclusion and the proof that I've got are not based on eluding SMSes. Before I can even make a posting to this forum, I make myself sure that all proofs are rigid and from a trusted source and has been counter checked several times... then I made my move to post into this forum... but only asking for advises and suggestions.
For you to conclude "a jealous over protective husband", I would only allow you to do so only after you have observed how we run the family at home. I believe man and woman are given equal rights. Never once came into my mind that 'husbands' control the entire family. Wife played an ultra-important role in running the whole family altogether, wives are allowed to decide, wives are allowed to correct the husbands if he makes mistakes. And most importantly, wife is the closest person to you to observe you, to see the difference in you and to prevent you from making any wrong moves before anybody else sees it.
Our family, days after days, years after years are built on TRUST. My wife deals with all races and sexes in years of our business together. IF there are any ideas pointing to me as a husband who locks up his wife at home giving no earthly freedom and prevented her social life... retract that... though I'm no perfect super-human but I will never do that to a woman!
I have brought down my defenses and willing to accept any suggestions that can open up more on my already broadened mind and that already rule out the ideology that I am a male-chauvinist. But Tania, you seemed always eager to proof... no matter what my reasons are and no matter what I do... you will always be there to create another reason of my wrongdoings which you are unsure off. Psychologically, an over jealous typical egoistic husband will not resort to ways on listening from others, in fact he will take the matter in his own hands based on weak proofs alone.
Listen up guys, IF I have wronged her, I am willing to take any blames on that. And don't give me that impression that Islam is ruthless in its actions based on this scenario. As a believer that all religions are peaceful, only humans corrupted it based on wrongfully translated text or uncertained words form humans, GOD forbids! To me, the words of GOD are meant to powerful enough and HE did mentioned several times on man and woman relationships, and not only about sexual punishments.
Anyway, thanking all of you for your participations in this thread. I believe its time to close this thread. Administrators, please take note.
Peace to you all & God bless all of you...
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