thirdcrescent
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Assalamualaykum Brothers and Sisters.
Just needed to share a situation.
If a woman avoids being intimate with her husband, giving excuses (and at times even openly refusing) every time he comes to her. On the other hand, she keeps going out of which many times even without his knowledge. Whenever she goes out, husband has no clue where she is or with whom she is or what she's doing, on the same note (at times) she does things which she knows the husband would never approve of. At times she even goes out for some days and again the husband has no clue of where she is or who she's with (she has told her husband she is going with friends, and the husband has no choice but to have to trust/allow her).
Then she puts allegations that her husband does not want to be intimate with her.
On the contrary, husband finds a pack of pregnancy test kit and lingerie in her clothes (which she has never used with him). In spite of that, the husband does not wish to put any allegations on the wife - Allah knows best. The husband can't confront her, because she will immediately twist things and make a public scene showing how bad the husband is, and demand a divorce. She is very good at making public scenes - and has done it several times over the years, leading the husband to now just not say a word.
Husband cannot divorce her because there is an innocent child involved who does not deserve to suffer. For this reason, husband has no choice but to sacrifice and blindly tolerate and accept what he's put through. Husband cannot marry someone else, for the sake of the child. Is it safe for a husband to have any sexual contact with such a woman (and every time he goes go to her, she either avoids or refuses and put's the blame on him). Not only that, but whenever the husband even goes to sit with her and spend time with her, she will in most cases divert the conversation to something negative and spark an argument and reach the same talk, "give me a divorce". Then she claims the husband does not want to spend time with her. In the past if the husband has ever confronted her, he's been given threats of divorce and threats that she will take the child away, so husband knew he just has to keep quiet and tolerate. It's a do or die situation.
Husband is even ill-treated at times, for example, at night she would take more than two-thirds of the bed, being inconsiderate of the child and husband, and when husband would wake her, instead of correcting her position to make space for the child and husband, she argues and gives examples that Rasool-Allah (S.A.W) never woke his beloved wife A'isha (R.A.A) when she would be asleep. Thus husband had no choice but to take minimal space at the edge of the bed inorder that the child may be safe and get more space. Husband would have to spend nearly every night like this, stuck to the mosquito net that mosquitoes from the outside would be biting him through the net and he can feel lizards (from the outside of the net) walking on him as they come to eat those mosquitoes.
Wa-kaffabillahi-Shaheeda.
Husband is aware that Rasulullah (S.A.W) has said : "Treat women nicely, for a woman is created from a rib, and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely."
Husband seriously doesn't know how to handle the situation. At times he fears that he may be just being used as a tool or stepping stone for something.
Allah knows best.
Wasalaam.
Just needed to share a situation.
If a woman avoids being intimate with her husband, giving excuses (and at times even openly refusing) every time he comes to her. On the other hand, she keeps going out of which many times even without his knowledge. Whenever she goes out, husband has no clue where she is or with whom she is or what she's doing, on the same note (at times) she does things which she knows the husband would never approve of. At times she even goes out for some days and again the husband has no clue of where she is or who she's with (she has told her husband she is going with friends, and the husband has no choice but to have to trust/allow her).
Then she puts allegations that her husband does not want to be intimate with her.
On the contrary, husband finds a pack of pregnancy test kit and lingerie in her clothes (which she has never used with him). In spite of that, the husband does not wish to put any allegations on the wife - Allah knows best. The husband can't confront her, because she will immediately twist things and make a public scene showing how bad the husband is, and demand a divorce. She is very good at making public scenes - and has done it several times over the years, leading the husband to now just not say a word.
Husband cannot divorce her because there is an innocent child involved who does not deserve to suffer. For this reason, husband has no choice but to sacrifice and blindly tolerate and accept what he's put through. Husband cannot marry someone else, for the sake of the child. Is it safe for a husband to have any sexual contact with such a woman (and every time he goes go to her, she either avoids or refuses and put's the blame on him). Not only that, but whenever the husband even goes to sit with her and spend time with her, she will in most cases divert the conversation to something negative and spark an argument and reach the same talk, "give me a divorce". Then she claims the husband does not want to spend time with her. In the past if the husband has ever confronted her, he's been given threats of divorce and threats that she will take the child away, so husband knew he just has to keep quiet and tolerate. It's a do or die situation.
Husband is even ill-treated at times, for example, at night she would take more than two-thirds of the bed, being inconsiderate of the child and husband, and when husband would wake her, instead of correcting her position to make space for the child and husband, she argues and gives examples that Rasool-Allah (S.A.W) never woke his beloved wife A'isha (R.A.A) when she would be asleep. Thus husband had no choice but to take minimal space at the edge of the bed inorder that the child may be safe and get more space. Husband would have to spend nearly every night like this, stuck to the mosquito net that mosquitoes from the outside would be biting him through the net and he can feel lizards (from the outside of the net) walking on him as they come to eat those mosquitoes.
Wa-kaffabillahi-Shaheeda.
Husband is aware that Rasulullah (S.A.W) has said : "Treat women nicely, for a woman is created from a rib, and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely."
Husband seriously doesn't know how to handle the situation. At times he fears that he may be just being used as a tool or stepping stone for something.
Allah knows best.
Wasalaam.
