Should I give up my beard?

[SintoDinto]

I go to two masjids. At one, almost no one has a beard, at least not the Turkish population, but many of the Pakistanis and Africans do. I used to go to another, and there there is a mixture, or at least people have small beards and are young, and one imam had no beard and a shaven face. The imams change at that masjid every week. But the sheikh at the main masjid I go to doesn't have a beard, and is pious in other regards. The main fatwa website I use, (can't name it, mods will have to approve the site and put this thread on lockdown), says after making an intention to grow a beard, which is recommended, it is makruh to shave it. My mom constantly says I "look like a bum" and "need to shave" but she kinda stopped that now, but I read that people trust people with a beard less according to psychology, and im already unpopular as it is, and my mother was furious at me yesterday for a serious of interactions i had yesterday with a group of pair of muslim girls and their ....aunt? the mother of one of them? which caused me to cut myself with a knife until i bled, and the interactions happened after i found out i was banned by one of the girls' older brother and father from talking to her, despite the fact i made a resolution not to talk to girls unnecessarily. i feel self conscious about my look, and feel like im ugly, and that i look too mature and scary and intimidating and not "innocent" or "cute" or "nerdy" and i already have big messy hair. my dad even told me i look like a terrorist and told me to shave in front of my grandmother, and it caused a big fight after i shaved, because i did it to please him since we are not so close.

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my mother just called my face and hair disgusting... yelling at me

 

[bint e aisha]

Assalamu alaikum

The fact you have a beard shows that you love Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.


Ibn ‘Umar narrated from the Messenger of Allaah صلى الله عليه وسلم: “Be different from the mushrikeen: let your beards grow and trim your moustaches.” According to another report: “Trim your moustaches and let your beards grow.”

We love our Prophet more than we love our parents or our ownselves. Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم has advised you not to shave your beard and your parents and society wants you to. Choice is yours.

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Also try not to dispute with your parents and respect them as much as you can.

 

[RisingLight]

I go to two masjids. At one, almost no one has a beard, at least not the Turkish population, but many of the Pakistanis and Africans do. I used to go to another, and there there is a mixture, or at least people have small beards and are young, and one imam had no beard and a shaven face. The imams change at that masjid every week. But the sheikh at the main masjid I go to doesn't have a beard, and is pious in other regards. The main fatwa website I use, (can't name it, mods will have to approve the site and put this thread on lockdown), says after making an intention to grow a beard, which is recommended, it is makruh to shave it. My mom constantly says I "look like a bum" and "need to shave" but she kinda stopped that now, but I read that people trust people with a beard less according to psychology, and im already unpopular as it is, and my mother was furious at me yesterday for a serious of interactions i had yesterday with a group of pair of muslim girls and their ....aunt? the mother of one of them? which caused me to cut myself with a knife until i bled, and the interactions happened after i found out i was banned by one of the girls' older brother and father from talking to her, despite the fact i made a resolution not to talk to girls unnecessarily. i feel self conscious about my look, and feel like im ugly, and that i look too mature and scary and intimidating and not "innocent" or "cute" or "nerdy" and i already have big messy hair. my dad even told me i look like a terrorist and told me to shave in front of my grandmother, and it caused a big fight after i shaved, because i did it to please him since we are not so close.

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my mother just called my face and hair disgusting... yelling at me

I can relate,it happens to me,people say i look like a terrorist and if am going to join IS.S because i try to keep a beard when i can.Dont worry about it,its one of the lil disturbances you have to face if your a muslim.

You said in a previous posts that people.consider you intelligent but what you did was very stupid (am sorry) cutting yourself with a knife? Dont do it again.I thought of doing it to combat my pain too but we would just get more and more sins for hurting our body.

We should take care of our body,and about our looks,which gives us the answer to the other questions you have:
You look bad with a beard? Trimm it,give it a beautiful shape.
Am.not saying make some weird beard styles or very modern with lots of oils and stuff,but a decent looking trimmed beard am sure its recommended.

I understand your situation about beardless imams, had the same situation when i could go in masjid,imams were beardless but the jammat had all beards and they would never ask imam for fatwa but would ask the most knowledgeable among each other.

Last thing i wanna say is dont try to be cute or innocent.You are a man not a girl.I had guts to go completely shaved with a beard and i went from beautiful looks to tough-angry-old looks,and then boom,i started being invited for zinnah by girls.Did i look beautiful? No,but i was happy with myself and its thr confidence that attracted them.

So beautify yourself the way you like it better,and if your family still tells you to shave off your beard tell them its sunnah and show them hadith.You got muslim parents,they have to understand.

 

[SintoDinto]

I can relate,it happens to me,people say i look like a terrorist and if am going to join IS.S because i try to keep a beard when i can.Dont worry about it,its one of the lil disturbances you have to face if your a muslim.

You said in a previous posts that people.consider you intelligent but what you did was very stupid (am sorry) cutting yourself with a knife? Dont do it again.I thought of doing it to combat my pain too but we would just get more and more sins for hurting our body.

We should take care of our body,and about our looks,which gives us the answer to the other questions you have:
You look bad with a beard? Trimm it,give it a beautiful shape.
Am.not saying make some weird beard styles or very modern with lots of oils and stuff,but a decent looking trimmed beard am sure its recommended.

I understand your situation about beardless imams, had the same situation when i could go in masjid,imams were beardless but the jammat had all beards and they would never ask imam for fatwa but would ask the most knowledgeable among each other.

Last thing i wanna say is dont try to be cute or innocent.You are a man not a girl.I had guts to go completely shaved with a beard and i went from beautiful looks to tough-angry-old looks,and then boom,i started being invited for zinnah by girls.Did i look beautiful? No,but i was happy with myself and its thr confidence that attracted them.

So beautify yourself the way you like it better,and if your family still tells you to shave off your beard tell them its sunnah and show them hadith.You got muslim parents,they have to understand.

thank you, brother. my father says back then it was for not imitating the mushrikeen, but in today's day and age everyone wears a beard, even rednecks, and even ISIS wears it in the name of Allah, so we should shave to not imitate them (ISIS). and my mother says everyone wears beards. response?

 

[MazharShafiq]

We love our Prophet more than we love our parents or our ownselves. Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم has advised you not to shave your beard and your parents and society wants you to.The fact you have a beard shows that you love Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.

 

[bint e aisha]

Here's an excellent thread on beard:

https://www.muftisays.com/forums/13-articles--stories--more/5566-once-upon-a-beard.html

 

[bint e aisha]

Following is taken from Muftisays thread:

I would like to share some ideology of the majority of my community people.
First, they usually start either discouraging the keeping of a beard or say trim it (less than a fist length so that it looks 'good')
Then when they see their argument is not having an effect, they give up overall, but still try sometimes.
However then it is, Allah Ta'ala who grants honor to His bearded servants, firm in following the wajib sunnah of Hazrat Muhammad (Salallahu 'alayhi wassalam), and the fasiqs come frequently and request the firm servant of Allah to make dua.

Strange ideology of most people....

 

[Insaanah]

thank you, brother. my father says back then it was for not imitating the mushrikeen, but in today's day and age everyone wears a beard, even rednecks, and even ISIS wears it in the name of Allah, so we should shave to not imitate them (ISIS). and my mother says everyone wears beards. response?

Assalaamu alaikum

The ruling doesn’t change even if everyone has a beard. See the following post:

Brothers For The Sake Of Allah | Keep A Beard | Lengthen The Beards | Size Of Fist |

 

[RisingLight]

thank you, brother. my father says back then it was for not imitating the mushrikeen, but in today's day and age everyone wears a beard, even rednecks, and even ISIS wears it in the name of Allah, so we should shave to not imitate them (ISIS). and my mother says everyone wears beards. response?

tell him catholic priests,hindu followers,budists,confucionists,corrupted politicians,neo nazis etc,are shaved.We should have a beard to not imitate them. (with his logic)
The beard itself wasnt for imitating the mushrikeen as far as i understand,it was the cutting of the moustache.I found these in a site,idk if its true but i think so.


[FONT=&quot]"Cut the moustaches and grow your beards. Be different from the Magians (followers of a religion that dominated in Persia)." [Muslim][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"Cut your moustaches and leave your beards alone. Be different from the people of the scripture." [Muslim][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"Be different from the Mushrikin (those who worship other than Allah ta'ala); trim your moustaches and save your beards." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

As you can see in the hadith also everyone wore beard before too.The beard was a symbol of a knights honor,if you touched a knights beard it was very offensive and you would duel.You know what a knights duel mean.You call also check orthodox saints paintings,all of them were painted in beards.[/FONT]

 

[SintoDinto]

I can relate,it happens to me,people say i look like a terrorist and if am going to join IS.S because i try to keep a beard when i can.Dont worry about it,its one of the lil disturbances you have to face if your a muslim.

You said in a previous posts that people.consider you intelligent but what you did was very stupid (am sorry) cutting yourself with a knife? Dont do it again.I thought of doing it to combat my pain too but we would just get more and more sins for hurting our body.

We should take care of our body,and about our looks,which gives us the answer to the other questions you have:
You look bad with a beard? Trimm it,give it a beautiful shape.
Am.not saying make some weird beard styles or very modern with lots of oils and stuff,but a decent looking trimmed beard am sure its recommended.

I understand your situation about beardless imams, had the same situation when i could go in masjid,imams were beardless but the jammat had all beards and they would never ask imam for fatwa but would ask the most knowledgeable among each other.

Last thing i wanna say is dont try to be cute or innocent.You are a man not a girl.I had guts to go completely shaved with a beard and i went from beautiful looks to tough-angry-old looks,and then boom,i started being invited for zinnah by girls.Did i look beautiful? No,but i was happy with myself and its thr confidence that attracted them.

So beautify yourself the way you like it better,and if your family still tells you to shave off your beard tell them its sunnah and show them hadith.You got muslim parents,they have to understand.

you turned down those girls saying "I fear Allah" right? because that would place you under the shade of Allah's throne on the Day of Judgement.

 

[RisingLight]

you turned down those girls saying "I fear Allah" right? because that would place you under the shade of Allah's throne on the Day of Judgement.

Sorry for the late reply...Sadly no,i am a secretive muslim so i made up lies,cant say i fear Allah, except with one that had some knowledge about islam,i told her i just cant its haram am sorry.But i went so close to it you cant imagine.So i dont think i will be under the shade,am not that good,but elhamdulillah with my behaviours am more than happy that i didnt commit zinnah or worst.

 

[SintoDinto]

Sorry for the late reply...Sadly no,i am a secretive muslim so i made up lies,cant say i fear Allah, except with one that had some knowledge about islam,i told her i just cant its haram am sorry.But i went so close to it you cant imagine.So i dont think i will be under the shade,am not that good,but elhamdulillah with my behaviours am more than happy that i didnt commit zinnah or worst.

may Allah protect you from zina, my brother, ameen. Are you able to fast? Or get married? Also, are you of the hanafi or hanbali madhab? (I have a reason for asking this)

 

[RisingLight]

may Allah protect you from zina, my brother, ameen. Are you able to fast? Or get married? Also, are you of the hanafi or hanbali madhab? (I have a reason for asking this)

I try my best to fast but in 7 years i only fasted 1 ramadhan fully,they would always be less 1 to 5 days i wouldnt fast.Its hard but am used to it now and i am happy with it because if i look at myself in the past now i am totally different and Allah has given me the sign that I asked for.I thought He had abandoned me but no,and that makes me happy and gives me more motivation to be a better muslim and to deal with all this in sabr until next ramadhan (cuz i dont think i will be able to fast this ramadhan fully too) and no i dont have means to get married but maybe later if i find a good girl who would accept me for who i am,i will get married then in shaa Allah.

Where i live has a lot of hanafi and hanbali influence yes haha,well done for recognizing that. But i dont like to follow madhabs i just follow Quran and sunnah as much as i can.

 

[CuriousonTruth]

Sorry for the late reply...Sadly no,i am a secretive muslim so i made up lies,cant say i fear Allah, except with one that had some knowledge about islam,i told her i just cant its haram am sorry.But i went so close to it you cant imagine.So i dont think i will be under the shade,am not that good,but elhamdulillah with my behaviours am more than happy that i didnt commit zinnah or worst.

You are Turkish. Are you ex-Alevi?

 

[CuriousonTruth]

Last thing i wanna say is dont try to be cute or innocent.You are a man not a girl.I had guts to go completely shaved with a beard and i went from beautiful looks to tough-angry-old looks,and then boom,i started being invited for zinnah by girls.Did i look beautiful? No,but i was happy with myself and its thr confidence that attracted them.
.

https://womenintheworld.com/2017/05...-than-those-who-are-clean-shaven-study-finds/ Study find women find men with beard more attractive than clean shaved. So your experience is consistent with scientific data.

 

[RisingLight]

https://womenintheworld.com/2017/05...-than-those-who-are-clean-shaven-study-finds/ Study find women find men with beard more attractive than clean shaved. So your experience is consistent with scientific data.

Hahah well...may Allah make us beautiful for our wives..Bein attractive to every girl is a test,brings nth good excepts arrogance and egoism.And then when there a girl who doesnt like you it feels as if the whole world doesnt like you.

No am not turkish am ex christian

 

[CuriousonTruth]

Hahah well...may Allah make us beautiful for our wives..Bein attractive to every girl is a test,brings nth good excepts arrogance and egoism.And then when there a girl who doesnt like you it feels as if the whole world doesnt like you.

No am not turkish am ex christian

Oh I thought since you said Elhamdullilah which is how turks say Alhamdullilah. Turkish alevis are also anti-islam, so I thought you might have been one. So where are you from?

 

[RisingLight]

Oh I thought since you said Elhamdullilah which is how turks say Alhamdullilah. Turkish alevis are also anti-islam, so I thought you might have been one. So where are you from?

Eudhu bilah,why would i be anti islam? Am muslim despite my name.,i just fant change it until after 6 months..lets say we were part of ottoman empire

 

[CuriousonTruth]

Eudhu bilah,why would i be anti islam? Am muslim despite my name.,i just fant change it until after 6 months..lets say we were part of ottoman empire

I didn't say you are anti-Islam. I said Alevis are.