sister changed after marriage

[huss20]

Aslamualikum. My problem is that my sister before her marriage was so caring about her family but after marriage she does not even bother anymore she only cares about her husband who does not come to see us or have little interest in us at all! My sister was my only friend but now she does not keep in contact with me at all. And her husband does not even bother to have a good relationship with us at all when he came last time he was just sat down looking moody and went after 10 mins. I just want my sister to be as she was before because I'm so lonely and my brother does not care about me either I don't have no friends either

 

[azc]

You sister still loves you. Now she's to obey her husband to spend a happy married life.

 

[Asiyah3]

Aslamualikum. My problem is that my sister before her marriage was so caring about her family but after marriage she does not even bother anymore she only cares about her husband who does not come to see us or have little interest in us at all! My sister was my only friend but now she does not keep in contact with me at all. And her husband does not even bother to have a good relationship with us at all when he came last time he was just sat down looking moody and went after 10 mins. I just want my sister to be as she was before because I'm so lonely and my brother does not care about me either I don't have no friends either

:wa:
Most people I know changed after marriage. Our friends with whom we used to spend most of our days change after marriage. The contact from very frequent becomes very rare. Daughters might contact their mothers, in who's house they spent the previous 20 years, once a year.

Your sister still loves and cares about her family, but this marriage must mean a lot to her. I suppose this is just her way of showing that by fully concentrating on her marriage only.

Please let them live their lives in privacy. Sometimes the further a married couple are from their families, the less problems they have. Families may interfere or the couple themseves might unnecessarily disclose their personal problems. This is another reason why she may prefer to stay more distant.

Try to find new ways of spending your time. Find new friends e.g. from the mosque, read (e.g. business or any topic that interests you), memorize the Qur'an. learn a language, learn to draw, cook, lose weight if overweight and so on. Do not ever depend on others to fill your time. She is now married, and will soon have her own kids etc. You should get married as well if you have a degree, ask her to help find you a girl.

 

[huss20]

Her husband keeps full contact with his family and visits them about twice a week he does not care about me at all he does not reply to my message that often when he's read it and for some reason he avoids coming to our house I just want him to more considerate its not a big thing to ask. Another thing is that my sister barely answers her calls when my me or my mum or grandma try to phone her to ask is she's ok . I remember last year before the marriage her husband use to text me all the time but know he obtained what he wanted he doesn't bother.

 

[huss20]

:wa:
Most people I know changed after marriage. Our friends with whom we used to spend most of our days change after marriage. The contact from very frequent becomes very rare. Daughters might contact their mothers, in who's house they spent the previous 20 years, once a year.

Your sister still loves and cares about her family, but this marriage must mean a lot to her. I suppose this is just her way of showing that by fully concentrating on her marriage only.

Please let them live their lives in privacy. Sometimes the further a married couple are from their families, the less problems they have. Families may interfere or the couple themseves might unnecessarily disclose their personal problems. This is another reason why she may prefer to stay more distant.

Try to find new ways of spending your time. Find new friends e.g. from the mosque, read (e.g. business or any topic that interests you), memorize the Qur'an. learn a language, learn to draw, cook, lose weight if overweight and so on. Do not ever depend on others to fill your time. She is now married, and will soon have her own kids etc. You should get married as well if you have a degree, ask her to help find you a girl.

Her husband keeps full contact with his family and visits them about twice a week he does not care about me at all he does not reply to my message that often when he's read it and for some reason he avoids coming to our house I just want him to more considerate its not a big thing to ask. Another thing is that my sister barely answers her calls when my me or my mum or grandma try to phone her to ask is she's ok . I remember last year before the marriage her husband use to text me all the time but know he obtained what he wanted he doesn't bother.

 

[Asiyah3]

Her husband keeps full contact with his family and visits them about twice a week he does not care about me at all he does not reply to my message that often when he's read it and for some reason he avoids coming to our house I just want him to more considerate its not a big thing to ask.

You cannot force or make person to like you. Improve yourself and enrichen your life and he may himself walk towards you. But chasing after him may further encourage him to distance himself. Actually sometimes people appreciate more someone that doesn't show his needy of them etc.

Another thing is that my sister barely answers her calls when my me or my mum or grandma try to phone her to ask is she's ok . I remember last year before the marriage her husband use to text me all the time but know he obtained what he wanted he doesn't bother.

I am sure neither one of them intend to hurt the feelings of their beloved family members. They may only want space and privacy, and to concentrate their time fully on their marriage.

Furthermore, why do you even need to see her or him? Is there a real need? Or is there an underlying reason, such as being bored or having too much free time?