Society Paying For Me Haram?

[Iceee]

Salaam.
This really bothers me. I have some money (not too much, not too little) and I like to save money instead of spending it. Always have, always will. But am I stealing money in these situations? Would this be haram?

Example 1: A couple of my friends were talking about going to the movies tonight (Friday night). They asked whether I wanted to come, I said, "No thanks, I have no money" and laughed. After school one of the two friends calls me and asked whether I wanted to go watch a movie at a nearby theatre. I said I had no money again, and he said he would pay for me since his other friend didn't come.

Example 2: I was running to the masjid last week (I like to jogg since I don't have a car as of yet). A Muslim Brother asked me why I was running and we started talking. After prayers he asked whether we could sit-down at a coffee store and talk about Iman and Deen. I said I didn't have money. He said he would pay. He did pay for a chocholate milk carton and cookies for me and I listened to him talk.

Example 3: Elderly woman pays for lunch for me.


Example 4: After we won hockey championships last year Alhumdulillah, we were planning on having a pizza party that evening. I didn't have any money so I decided not to go. The Captain of my team called me, told me to come and he would pay for my pizza and drink.

Example 5: As some of you know, I own my own hockey league with a Muslim friend. We also coach a team there as well as ref and manage everything. My team won PIBHL Cup 2 years ago Alhumdulillah, the team wanted a party but I said that it would cost a lot of money. The team comprised of 8-12 year olds called me to a local Subway and they said they would pay for all the foods I eat. I think they used their parents money.

 

[Indian Bro]

As-salamu alaykum brother,

In my opinion, Allah (s.w.t.) judges people by their hearts. You shouldn't be too conservative with how you spend neither should you spend lavishly on unnecessary things. Spend moderately. It's alright to save money, that's a really good trait to have, but like I said, you should spend moderately (taking into consideration that you don't have too much or too little money). At the end of the day, it's your intentions that matter. And I would advise you not to depend on other peoples money much because they might hold it up against you later. And you should strive to pay these people back as soon as you are able to. Allah (s.w.t.) knows whats in your heart, so if you don't think your "using" these people, I don't think your stealing from them. InshAllah, you should pay these people back as soon as you are able to.

And Allah (s.w.t.) knows best.

Salam 3laikum

 

[Iceee]

Salaam.
Firstly, Ja'Zakullah for allowing me to start this thread.

As-salamu alaykum brother,

In my opinion, Allah (s.w.t.) judges people by their hearts. You shouldn't be too conservative with how you spend neither should you spend lavishly on unnecessary things. Spend moderately. It's alright to save money, that's a really good trait to have, but like I said, you should spend moderately (taking into consideration that you don't have too much or too little money). At the end of the day, it's your intentions that matter. And I would advise you not to depend on other peoples money much because they might hold it up against you later. And you should strive to pay these people back as soon as you are able to. Allah (s.w.t.) knows whats in your heart, so if you don't think your "using" these people, I don't think your stealing from them. InshAllah, you should pay these people back as soon as you are able to.

And Allah (s.w.t.) knows best.

Salam 3laikum

Salaam.
I like to save money, really not a big spender and neither is my family.
If people pay for me, I don't have to pay them back right? So how will they "hold it up against you later."???

 

[Karl]

Salaam.
Firstly, Ja'Zakullah for allowing me to start this thread.



Salaam.
I like to save money, really not a big spender and neither is my family.
If people pay for me, I don't have to pay them back right? So how will they "hold it up against you later."???

Salaam
If you just take and never give back you will lose your friends. You will be considered a tight wad or Scrooge. People expect a return when they give even when they don't say so. Unless they are very rich.

 

[Tyrion]

Haram? Probably not. But you're probably being a cheapskate, which isn't a good thing. People may start to feel as if you're using them, and you could start to be disliked.

 

[May Ayob]

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but unless you have a plausible reason like severe disability or you live in poverty then you shouldn't allow your self to take free money from people. This is for two reasons the first concerns your own dignity and self respect when you ask people or always accept their money without refusing; they lose respect for you even if they didn't show it and may keep confronting you and sometimes maybe even taunt you for it some people are very clingy -I'm not sure if thats the word or if its stingy?- and so they get very bothered when someone takes their money I'm not saying that any of those people who've offered you money are like that but hopefully you get my point and Islam encourages modesty or maintaing dignity so not taking money from people epeciallywhen you can earn it is much better. The second reason is that it actually affects your relationship with those people many times and not in a very positive way. Your previous posts suggest that you're still a young teenager if you accustom yourself on relying on other peoples favors you'll be very dependant on them and that wont motivate you to make any progress in your over all life. Howabout taking up a job from which you can earn your own money and spend it on yourself-please dont forget to give a share to your local charities- may God make it easy for your.

P.S- A thing I think I forgot to mention, maybe the people who offer you the money are infact very kind and generous people, but I have noticed a pattern here where in they offer to pay after you state that you have no money, I think some of them feel obliged to pay for you because they feel bad or something? If it's like that it's still not any good atleast on your side because because it's still kind of like pity. You honestly don't need that it's uncalled for please unless it's an open invitation but if it's exclusively for you because the person feels that they are obliged to do it then please don't accept it.

Just to clarify. Bro Iceee did not take other people money, but some people around him bought him something. It's not different than I invite Iceee to eat in Pizza Hut with me then I pay the bill.

Brother Adrianto, thank you for clarifying, but in this case you would usually accept the invitation because it was initially madefrom the other side, you didn't say something like you can't go because you have to save money or you don't have money that triggered them offering to pay for you. There's a big difference between the two situations and I think one can tell which one from the other. Again , I apologize I didn't mean to be harsh or offend anyone, but I think as a sister that brother Iceee should be a little reluctant to freuqently accepting money from people or them paying for him, because some still think you would owe it to them and such...

 

[ardianto]

Just to clarify. Bro Iceee did not take other people money, but some people around him bought him something. It's not different than I invite Iceee to eat in Pizza Hut with me then I pay the bill.

 

[Tyrion]

Just to clarify. Bro Iceee did not take other people money, but some people around him bought him something. It's not different than I invite Iceee to eat in Pizza Hut with me then I pay the bill.

He has indicated that he will only do things if other people pay for him. This is a problem, since it sounds like he's taking advantage of other people's generosity as well as possibly being stingy/cheap.

 

[Ali_008]

Just stop lying.

 

[Alpha Dude]

Not stealing.

I don't know if stinginess is haram (maybe someone can clarify) but I'm pretty sure it's very very frowned upon in Islam and also lying is haram.

 

[syed_z]

Asalaam O Alaikum...

I just want to share some verses of Quran which might help brother iceee ponder

(2:268) Satan threatens you with poverty and bids you to commit indecency whereas Allah (swt) promises you His forgiveness and bounty. Allah (swt) is Munificent, All Knowing.


So the poverty that you fear you might be falling in to and in to which you have not fallen yet, is a threat from Satan, and it is that which causes stinginess in many of us.

Sayyidina Abu Huraira (RA) reported from the Prophet (SAW) that he said, ‘Give presents to each other for, a gift removes ill-will from the heart."

One accepts gifts which is very good as it makes the receiver and the giver happy. Then the former should also gift something (depending upon their capacity) which would make the latter please and this would cause harmony among both. Actually it is not the gift but the thought about gifting that pleases one another and shows care for each other.

(17:29) And let not your hand be tied (like a miser) to your neck, nor stretch it forth to its utmost reach (like a spendthrift), so that you become blameworthy and in severe poverty.


Also we should be the 1st ones to spend on younger ones if we are elders, this also maintains the respect and honor they have for us and this shows our love for the young.

The Prophet (saw) said “He is not one of us who is not compassionate to our young (children) and respectful to our old.”


A very important Hadith which would help us lessen our worries about money and provision.

Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said, “He who wakes up in the morning peaceful among his people, healthy in body, his provision for the day with him, then it is as though them world is brought together for him.”

 

[cottonrainbow]

Salaam!

I don't think it's haram, but you look like a cheapskate or moocher and people don't like to be around cheapskates and moochers. I'm Not saying spend all of your money, but spend modestly. Sometimes spending a little money is part of fostering relations.

 

[Iceee]

Salaam
If you just take and never give back you will lose your friends. You will be considered a tight wad or Scrooge. People expect a return when they give even when they don't say so. Unless they are very rich.

Salaam.

I have many friends, I don't expect them to pay for me. But I'm not a spender like mentioned, I eat home-made food which my Mom makes most of the time. If friends want to go to a store to eat, I'm not going to pay. Why should I feel obligated to pay for my own food? If friends pay for me, I'll say thanks.

 

[Iceee]

P.S- A thing I think I forgot to mention, maybe the people who offer you the money are infact very kind and generous people, but I have noticed a pattern here where in they offer to pay after you state that you have no money, I think some of them feel obliged to pay for you because they feel bad or something? If it's like that it's still not any good atleast on your side because because it's still kind of like pity. You honestly don't need that it's uncalled for please unless it's an open invitation but if it's exclusively for you because the person feels that they are obliged to do it then please don't accept it.

Salaam.

I'm not forcing anyone to pay. If a friend doesn't want to pay for me, I'm not going to force them to pay for me. But I don't feel the need of spending money when uncalled for.

Read Example 4.

 

[Iceee]

Just to clarify. Bro Iceee did not take other people money, but some people around him bought him something. It's not different than I invite Iceee to eat in Pizza Hut with me then I pay the bill.

Do you consider it haram if I don't pay? You can choose to pay for me right?

 

[Muhaba]

Salaam.
This really bothers me. I have some money (not too much, not too little) and I like to save money instead of spending it. Always have, always will. But am I stealing money in these situations? Would this be haram?

Example 1: A couple of my friends were talking about going to the movies tonight (Friday night). They asked whether I wanted to come, I said, "No thanks, I have no money" and laughed. After school one of the two friends calls me and asked whether I wanted to go watch a movie at a nearby theatre. I said I had no money again, and he said he would pay for me since his other friend didn't come.

Example 2: I was running to the masjid last week (I like to jogg since I don't have a car as of yet). A Muslim Brother asked me why I was running and we started talking. After prayers he asked whether we could sit-down at a coffee store and talk about Iman and Deen. I said I didn't have money. He said he would pay. He did pay for a chocholate milk carton and cookies for me and I listened to him talk.

Example 3: Elderly woman pays for lunch for me.


Example 4: After we won hockey championships last year Alhumdulillah, we were planning on having a pizza party that evening. I didn't have any money so I decided not to go. The Captain of my team called me, told me to come and he would pay for my pizza and drink.

Example 5: As some of you know, I own my own hockey league with a Muslim friend. We also coach a team there as well as ref and manage everything. My team won PIBHL Cup 2 years ago Alhumdulillah, the team wanted a party but I said that it would cost a lot of money. The team comprised of 8-12 year olds called me to a local Subway and they said they would pay for all the foods I eat. I think they used their parents money.

You shouldn't be telling people you have no money when you do. don't show yourself as poor when Allah has blessed you with money, even if it's little. You should also not take from others as Allah tells us that we shouldn't wrongly take other people's money. Why are you making other pay when you have money? Is that charity and charity is the right of the neediest people.

Now you can say that you wouldn't want to waste your money on this item or that and then if someone else insists that they willpay, then it won't be a problem. But don't take advantage of others' benevolence wrngfully. Showing yourself to be needy when its not true is also wrong.
If you're doing your friend by accompanying him and he offers to pay for you then it's alright but not if he's doing it because you're showing yourself to be needy! (Also, watching movies is haram for many reasons: 1-it's a waste of time. 2- men see non-mahram women on screen and women see nonmahram men. 3-it has music which is haram. 4-it's a waste of money. That money could've been spent on a poor person's meal.)

In the case of some children paying for the meal in celebration, it's okay but not if you're asking for charity. (It may be their parents' money but the parents gave it to them to spend and have a good time. nothing wrong with them celebrating with their coach.)

IMO your character needs improvement because you're asking for charity when you don't deserve it. It's not right to have sucha personality. You need to pay for whatever you get and if you don't want to spend your money, don't make others spend theirs. Remember, you aren't a believer unless you want for others what you want for yourself. And if you want to save your own money, then why do you want others to spend theirs???

 

[M.I.A.]

i think if people enjoy your company then you are lucky.
if you are in a position to help those that have helped you then you should.

i mean everybody wants to save for the future, otherwise you will be dependant on handouts forever.

finding a balance is key and understanding other peoples needs will help you grow as a person.

personally i am very bad with money, i have never saved for the things i want.


but i am aware there is no such thing as a free lunch.

 

[May Ayob]

I'm not forcing anyone to pay. If a friend doesn't want to pay for me, I'm not going to force them to pay for me. But I don't feel the need of spending money when uncalled for.

I'm sorry if I misunderstood you but what I grasped from the examples you've provided I assumed there was some kind of pressuring going on. But , brother I want whats good for you if you trust me, you can't do this to yourself you'll be the most one at harm believe me. Maybe those people also feel that their own money is too good for spending on 'useless' things, so it's not fair that you allow them to spend on you like that. And someday you're going to have to spend that money anyway, stinginess is not a trait of a muslim; wealth is from God; He is the one that provides. I apologize if I came across as critical and stern because I didn't intend to, I'm ust trying to show the consequences related to this kind of action.

 

[Tyrion]

If friends want to go to a store to eat, I'm not going to pay. Why should I feel obligated to pay for my own food? If friends pay for me, I'll say thanks.

Then don't end up going all the time when they invite you. Or pay them back at some point. Or don't eat. Or just pay for yourself, like a normal person. You're just mooching off of them since you're too cheap to spend your own money.

Also, did you really just ask why you should be expected to pay for your own food?

 

[Iceee]

Salaam.

You should also not take from others as Allah tells us that we shouldn't wrongly take other people's money. Why are you making other pay when you have money?

If people want to pay for me, why would I say no? Them paying for me is a gift from Allah Subhanahuwatallah to me.