Son out of wedlock

[AnonymousPoster]

If a man had a son with a women out of wedlock, out of a one night affair...and the son is 7 years old. If, he then married a new converted muslim woman, when the son was 6 years old. The man had repented and is a good muslim now.
What type of relationship should the man mantain with the mother of the son? What rights does the wife have and what can she ask from her husband?
In the case I am describing, the man does not listen to the wife, and allows the mother of the son to call all the time and the man goes to see them at any time, without prior consultation of the wife. the wife wants to put limits to this, by allowing the son to be part of the new family with her, by briging him home, but the man does not listen. What should the woman do?
The wife feels that woman is a threat to her marriage and she feels her integrity is being compromised.:heated:

 

[tigersabre]

If a man had a son with a women out of wedlock, out of a one night affair...and the son is 7 years old. If, he then married a new converted muslim woman, when the son was 6 years old. The man had repented and is a good muslim now.
What type of relationship should the man mantain with the mother of the son? What rights does the wife have and what can she ask from her husband?
In the case I am describing, the man does not listen to the wife, and allows the mother of the son to call all the time and the man goes to see them at any time, without prior consultation of the wife. the wife wants to put limits to this, by allowing the son to be part of the new family with her, by briging him home, but the man does not listen. What should the woman do?
The wife feels that woman is a threat to her marriage and she feels her integrity is being compromised.:heated:

I hate to throw a monkey wrench into your question, but you should know that if a man fathers a child out of wedlock, then Islamically speaking, he loses all rights and priviledges accorded to a father (although, biologically speaking, we understand that this man fathered the child). The child is ascribed to the mother, and so the boy would not even be nonmahram to his "father's" wife.

If you want to know further about rights, you ought to visit a forum or speak with a local imam and get a fatwa. If you'd like advice on what to do, that's what this forum is for

The woman is obviously very protective of the family that she has built, and does not want to see it compromised by a woman who seems to hold a son over her husband's head. I can tell you that the more the woman tries to protest and bother her husband and tell him not to do anything, the more he will dig his heels in and go out and do it, and confide less in her.

The best thing a wife can do to hold on to her husband and make sure no other woman holds his attention is to be the best wife she can possibly be to him. This does not mean being a doormat - this means taking care of his needs and wants before he asks, projecting positive energy when he's around, not nagging, and not unloading every single worry and fear on the back of her mind.

When a woman strives for excellence in the emotional, physical, social, and spiritual relationship with her husband, focusing on herself and bringing a positive balance to the relationship, she should gain more influence over her husband and with that influence, she could slowly move him in a better direction.

 

[Maimunah]

salaam.
This sort of quetsion should be answered by an scholar.

 

[Umm Yoosuf]

Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatulaahi Wa Barakatuh sister,

I'm afraid this requires a in-depth answer of the people of knowledge.

If you would like their contact details (i.e. email, telephone number) I can give you that. Please PM me if you wish.

Other than that I don't think anyone is knowledgeable here enough to advice you sister.