hisnameiszzz
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Eid Mubarak,
I hope everyone is keeping well.
I am sure some of the long term posters will remember me. I'm just after some advice please.
My predicament is still the same. We still have the jaheel family next door who are making our life unbearable. We've still not moved out as Mum and brother seem to have an excuse for everything when it comes to me making suggestions. I did make progress and made an offer on a house but it fell through after the survey stage - there was too much work that needed doing and the vendor would not reduce the price. We applied to the local authority to see if Mum would be able to get a bungalow (none other than Council ones in our area) but they said no because they can put in a stairlift for us to make this house more suitable to her. Mum and brother's health has really deteriorated - more of that below.
Anyway, I digress.
My question is this. Would it be wrong of me to move out and leave my Mum and brother and other family member? I was made to go on some counselling as my manager noticed I was always on edge and down. Apparently I am the carer for my family. I thought I was just being a son but apparently I am doing everything for them hence should therefore be their carer. They've planted the seed in my head than I should up and move as it is affecting my mental health, and that carers could come and check and look after the family.
My mind is saying pack up and run but my heart is saying no. Mum is elderly and frail. She's down to her last few teeth and weighs about 6 stones. Her arthritis is really bad now and she struggles to open doors as her wrists have packed up. She's gone from being a competent woman who did everything to not being able to get her tablets out of their pack and it's really upsetting for her. My brother had an implant to help with his urine problem but that was not successful and he has now been using catheters for about 10 years. I can only imagine how debilitating this is. His depression has really taken over and it is a struggle to even get him to for a walk. There are days when he just sits in silence and won't even talk. There is also another family member who I care for.
I know you are all probably thinking what a complete *******, but I am at breaking point. Although there are other family members, they have married and moved out and seem to think it's my responsibility as I am not married and still at home. I cook, I clean, I do all the appointment runs, I work part time. I can't cope with the caring, the emotional support and living next to these jaheel lot. If it was just one or the other, I would be fine and would cope but I can't do all of them at once. My life so monotonous - get out of bed, clean, cook, appointments runs, help family members do things, cook, help family members do things, go to bed, not sleep due to door slams, roll around in bed, rinse, repeat.
What would you do? One of my friends said move out but stay local so you can still help out. The thing is if I moved out, I don't think I would want to. I am sorry if I sound really selfish, I am not. It's just this has taken over my life and I am so down all the time.
Please can someone advise? I'm not after sympathy as I know there are millions of people out there who are in worse conditions but I just need some ideas if you don't mind. Also, do any of you have any remedies for sleep issues? Everything prescribed by my GP hasn't worked.
PS. On a positive note, all the money that was owed to me by the crook has now been repaid to me.
PPS. Are all these tests because I am a really bad person?
I hope everyone is keeping well.
I am sure some of the long term posters will remember me. I'm just after some advice please.
My predicament is still the same. We still have the jaheel family next door who are making our life unbearable. We've still not moved out as Mum and brother seem to have an excuse for everything when it comes to me making suggestions. I did make progress and made an offer on a house but it fell through after the survey stage - there was too much work that needed doing and the vendor would not reduce the price. We applied to the local authority to see if Mum would be able to get a bungalow (none other than Council ones in our area) but they said no because they can put in a stairlift for us to make this house more suitable to her. Mum and brother's health has really deteriorated - more of that below.
Anyway, I digress.
My question is this. Would it be wrong of me to move out and leave my Mum and brother and other family member? I was made to go on some counselling as my manager noticed I was always on edge and down. Apparently I am the carer for my family. I thought I was just being a son but apparently I am doing everything for them hence should therefore be their carer. They've planted the seed in my head than I should up and move as it is affecting my mental health, and that carers could come and check and look after the family.
My mind is saying pack up and run but my heart is saying no. Mum is elderly and frail. She's down to her last few teeth and weighs about 6 stones. Her arthritis is really bad now and she struggles to open doors as her wrists have packed up. She's gone from being a competent woman who did everything to not being able to get her tablets out of their pack and it's really upsetting for her. My brother had an implant to help with his urine problem but that was not successful and he has now been using catheters for about 10 years. I can only imagine how debilitating this is. His depression has really taken over and it is a struggle to even get him to for a walk. There are days when he just sits in silence and won't even talk. There is also another family member who I care for.
I know you are all probably thinking what a complete *******, but I am at breaking point. Although there are other family members, they have married and moved out and seem to think it's my responsibility as I am not married and still at home. I cook, I clean, I do all the appointment runs, I work part time. I can't cope with the caring, the emotional support and living next to these jaheel lot. If it was just one or the other, I would be fine and would cope but I can't do all of them at once. My life so monotonous - get out of bed, clean, cook, appointments runs, help family members do things, cook, help family members do things, go to bed, not sleep due to door slams, roll around in bed, rinse, repeat.
What would you do? One of my friends said move out but stay local so you can still help out. The thing is if I moved out, I don't think I would want to. I am sorry if I sound really selfish, I am not. It's just this has taken over my life and I am so down all the time.
Please can someone advise? I'm not after sympathy as I know there are millions of people out there who are in worse conditions but I just need some ideas if you don't mind. Also, do any of you have any remedies for sleep issues? Everything prescribed by my GP hasn't worked.
PS. On a positive note, all the money that was owed to me by the crook has now been repaid to me.
PPS. Are all these tests because I am a really bad person?
