I was raised in Catholic family. I never accepted it but I did what my parents wanted me to do, go to church, having Catholic (or Christian, because that's not too different) friends etc. The day I started to refuse all that (I was around 10-12 years old) was the day "hell" at home (and everywhere else, because most people I knew were Catholic and I went to Catholic schools most of my life) started. I had to endure my parents' wrath and manipulation to make me return, everyone else' indifference (well it was my decision, afterall), struggle in school (friends, bullies, study) and then workplace pressure - my mind and body were suffering so much, all I had was my heart, which felt alive and well, because I no longer lived in denial.
It was like that for many years, the impact on my overall health was tremendous, even my heart almost gave up twice. So I started to wonder about what happens when we die. I read books about different faiths, joined forums talking about faith and religion, and from there I learned some things and tried to practice them. But it wasn't enough of course, it was a bit here and there from this and that faith, religion - I wasn't getting anywhere and I felt emptier and emptier inside. Also the people I used to converse with and from whom I learned about these different faith,religions started acting weirder and weirder towards me, so I stopped talking to them and completely abandoned my search. I just lived my life as before, no religion whatsoever.
I always know God exists, I don't know why and how, I used to call Him : the Source (I never understood the concept of 3 in 1 body, so I just ignored it). A few years passed and in one day, Allah turned my attention to Islam - a religion I heard about but knew very little about. I was watching videos about economy crisis around the world, and among the videos recommended to me, is an Islamic perspective on the subject. It took me more than half length of the video (about 30 mins) to figure out what exactly I was watching. I then figured out that the speaker is a muslim, giving lecture about the world economy in a mosque, he is quoting from the Qur'an, Words of Allah. I was amazed that someone who seems deeply religious, is also very knowledgeable about world politics, history, finance, economy. I always thought those are mundane matters, worldly life, and are totally separate from religion, soul matters. I looked up his biography, his interviews, his videos - all indicate he is doing well in this dunya, at the same time being pious. How is this possible in this modern age, the 'dog eat dog' age? Also, the connection he made between world events and Qur'an - how can this one book tell so many things?
Every religion has a holy book, if the book is Qur'an, then the religion is Islam. So I started researching about Islam, I was totally surprised at how many online sources available about Islam. How did I miss this religion back in the days I was researching different faiths, religions out there? A few years of research, anything I could find, anyone I could talk to about Islam - I was then fully convinced and accepted it. I was worried about going to the mosque, but I wanted to say my shahada there, so I went anyway. The Imam was so gentle and helpful, and through him, I met local muslimahs. That day after shahada, I went home feeling like I was born anew, like I am a different person, like I was given a second (more like fifth chance) to live Alhamdulillah how many people can say that, I am grateful beyond words.
Someone told me, most reverts do not last 4 years. I wanted to assure him that I am not one of those reverts, but I decided to prove it with action instead of words. More than 4 years now and here I am, still a muslimah Alhamdulillah. I won't say it's easy, there were times I almost gave up. But each time I remember life before Islam, how grim it was, how lost I was, all the mistakes and sins I did in that life, all that other people had done to me in that life - why would I want to live that life again? Allah has changed me and my life through Islam. This is the life I want. May Allah keep my faith strong in Islam and make me live as a muslim until I return to Him.