[anonymous]

salaam

I hope you all are in good health, inshallah. I'll just get to the problem.
I have been attending summer school , not because I failed, but as a new course since it was going to be a boring summer. So, at this school, mind you, it is high school, my university commences in the fall. I saw this muslimah. She is wearing hijab, properly of course. During lunch time, I've always end up watching her lol, NOT stalking, no stalking or anything!! But, i used to go to a private high school, catholic one. And this is the first time i came to a public high school, summer one and i met saw a muslim girl :S. I mean, of course i've seen plenty of otehrs but I suppose I like her. I've been really impressed by her dress code and everything . I wasn't checking her out, i know that *so none of you assumes that*, I always keep my gaze lowered as much. But, she just happens to pass by me as I waited for my classroom teacher to open the door. Now I have this urge to talk to her at least. However, I am very shy person :\. I have never talked to a girl, not on phone or anywhere. I barely had any interactions with one , if at all. Its hard to believe, but it is true.

Now, that I find this girl, really interesting i suppose, is it ok for me to talk to her? I have clean intentions of course. I just want to talk to her somehow, ask her about islam, like how is she able to wear hijab that stuff, i dont know :\. I don't know how to approach first of all. If it was a muslim guy, i'd readily know how to start a conversation. But its a girl and I am just afraid but at the sametime , I really want to talk to her. Does this indicate I am trying to flirt? because i dont want her to get that impression . I dont know any muslim girls , maybe the sisters here can help out a bit. She isn't arab lol if that helps, she seems like pakistani. Actually, she is Pakistani! and I'm not sure if me, being pakistani, makes things worse? I am so confused! I don't want to sound like a creeper, rude or anything like that! I just love the fact how modest she is and brilliant! That is what attracted me the most!! her hijab isn't like those decorated ones, its just simple black or white, i dont know, but its just plain and simple and the dress code!!

To sum it up:

a.) I really like her, I think i do :S, i feel so strange about it. What can i do? I am making dua and TRY to recite lol a duah, but my intentions are always clean alhamdulilah. I was able to avoid the prom and etc everything, so its not that.

b.) Is it ok, for me to approach to her and talk? Would she be offended?

c.) How do I start the conversation? I.e., what do i say to her? I am just way too shy. I get all weird and nervous, but i really want to talk though.

so perhaps, sisters *muslim* ones can give better advise on this, or pakistani ones, :S. I even feel weird asking.

Wa alayikum salaam.

 

[aadil77]

If I was you I'd ask my parents first if they'd let me approach someone for marriage, after thats done most of the problem should be gone

Yh so you gotta start off by trying to talk to one of her relatives someone that might come to pick her up from there, this might sound like stalking but its better than talkin to her in secret without them knowing.

If that dont work then I'd probably go up to her, what you say depends on what you're like, I can't stand small talk so I'd cut the crap go up straight say salam then 'sis are ya married?' if she says no then I'd be like BRapp! if she says yes then I'd point to some random guy and say he wanted to know

 

[abu_musab461]

Now, that I find this girl, really interesting i suppose, is it ok for me to talk to her? I have clean intentions of course. I just want to talk to her somehow, ask her about islam, like how is she able to wear hijab that stuff, i dont know :\. I don't know how to approach first of all. If it was a muslim guy, i'd readily know how to start a conversation. But its a girl and I am just afraid but at the sametime , I really want to talk to her. Does this indicate I am trying to flirt? because i dont want her to get that impression . I dont know any muslim girls , maybe the sisters here can help out a bit. She isn't arab lol if that helps, she seems like pakistani. Actually, she is Pakistani! and I'm not sure if me, being pakistani, makes things worse? I am so confused! I don't want to sound like a creeper, rude or anything like that! I just love the fact how modest she is and brilliant! That is what attracted me the most!! her hijab isn't like those decorated ones, its just simple black or white, i dont know, but its just plain and simple and the dress code!!

I can see the hall marks of shaytan all over this, either you approach her mahrem and ask for her hand in marriage (if your parents are happy with that) or you avoid this girl like a plauge, because shaytan will never say to you commit zina because a muslim will never listen to that...

Rather he will say "She is so nice, why don't you talk to her. Look at her, after all your heart is pure, and talk to her about hijaab and islam because she will make a good wife for you etc..." before you know it. you will be in love with her, looking at her, commiting zina of the eyes and the ears and tongue and Allah say

"Do not come near zina"! so anything that leads you towards zina is also haram, which includes looking at her.

Have the Fear of Allah, speak to your parents.

I'm only being harsh because i know how shaytan works, and im trying to protect you from following his footsteps and making the mistake he wants you to make

 

[Banu_Hashim]

lol @ 'sis are ya married'. Possibly the most uncomfortable situation to be in.

 

[alcurad]

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ok, first of all, simply talking publicly is not forbidden, if you have evidence other than saying everyone knows it is etc try again :/
we need to teach our youth how to live in this life, not avoid everything, in a short while he's going to be in contact with females all the time if he's ever to get a job or study or do anything in this world, learning how to act normally rather than -avoid everything until you develop issues' is not a solution, not everyone is like that yes, but this is a matter seldom addressed in practical non-over-blown terms.
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alright so, it's only natural for you to feel as you do,so if you're really going to talk then don't over do it-remember there are over 3 billion women on the planet too-many are children and whatnot, but you get the idea :/-generally speaking, confidence is good, pretending you're something you're clearly not is not good, and awkward one-sided conversations are awkward..

since we're muslims: no touching-really, no touching-, but you know that I'm sure -_- - & no flirting. ok this is very hard if you spend too much time together, it might be subtle, he might not realize it himself, but he will do it, so if you do talk to her, don't see everything with pink glasses.
crushes are a normal part of growing/maturing, and you need to grow Out of them, if you've never talked to a girl before, well you do need to talk to some, so that you don't act all weird or get butterflies when dealing with them in real life/college/job/restaurant/etc, oh and talk in a public place, it's staying somewhere secluded that's not allowed, not simply talking in public.

this is quite disorganized, but I'm not fully awake as I write, so,,,

 

[Pk_#2]

Omd, I hope this isn't the person who I think it is :x



This is a bit...

As a Muslim sister if you asked me questions, I'd think you were not a good guy.. for reals, I know we shouldn't jump to conclusion, but I try to stay away from guys who chat to girls, it freaks me out a bit, it's as if they're too open, it seems like they're comfortable with girls and talking to them and stuff which is eewyy, so if you really like her, ask one of your sisters or cousin sisters to find out about her, see if she really is the person you think she is and maybe your rents could approach her for you know..

But don't TALK to her...one things leads to another, love is blind, and before you know it, you'll think it's 'OK' to talk to her, call her, text her, chat to her on msn, kiss her, hug her and Allaah know what else :skeleton: :X


Once you pop you jus can't stop... :-[

So don't start talking to her, 'cause if you like her and then you suddenly stop talking to her, you myt turn into wan ov dose ppls hu be's like, omggggggg i jus lost tha love of ma life, i can't live widout her *faints* my jaaaaaaaaaaaaaan :X


so yeah, dont talk to her.

Sorri dun wna break yr heart but :statisfie

dnt be imsad

whatever happens was menno happen whateva duzen hapen wazen menno happen :exhausted

tara byeeeeee

:bump1:

 

[Mysterious Uk]

salaam

During lunch time, I've always end up watching her lol, I mean, of course i've seen plenty of otehrs but I suppose I like her.

Now, that I find this girl, really interesting I don't want to sound like a creeper, rude or anything like that! I just love the fact how modest she is and brilliant! That is what attracted me the most!! her hijab isn't like those decorated ones, its just simple black or white, i dont know, but its just plain and simple and the dress code!!

Wa alayikum salaam.

O.k well i highlighted the above parts because it is because of them that i don't think you should talk to her. I understand your intentions are pure but if you are already feeling like this without even talking to her, imagine how you would feel by actually talking to her..

I'm a sister (obviously) and i wouldn't appreciate a guy talking to me if i was on my own, it has happened to me and it just freaks me out and i tell them to go away lol

But then again if you want to marry her or whatever then i dunno, do what the brothers said i guess.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

dont talk to her

no good can come of this

 

[-Elle-]

If you're really intent on talking to her; let your intentions be known from the get go.

Ok,don't come off saying, "I want to marry you."
.

Say something like, "Salamu3aleikum", then she'll reply, then say, "Well, I noticed you and would like to get to know you, if you don't mind. I have good intentions(i.e. marriage), and, if you agree, would take all the proper steps (i.e. talking to your parents, etc) in getting to know you more.."

If she gets really freaked out and looks at you like your nuts, she's too young for marriage.

If you think contacting her parents and letting them know your intentions(maybe after she talks to them first), is waaaay too much, then revise your intentions; they might not be as "good" as you think them to be.

If this idea appeals to you, then good luck. I honestly wouldn't mind someone approaching me like that, as long as you directly let your family know what's going on.



Salam

 

[aadil77]

Basically Pk 2 is telling you to stay away from her lol, what were the chances of that? that she'd actually be a member of this forum?

 

[Banu_Hashim]

I guess the consensus is don't talk to her. But at the same time don't approach your parents straight away for marriage! Sheesh... it's just normal teenage feelings, it'll come and go.

 

[Muhammad]

Assalaamu Alaykum,

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ok, first of all, simply talking publicly is not forbidden, if you have evidence other than saying everyone knows it is etc try again :/

It should be noted that there are other conditions for a man to speak with a non-mahram woman. The fact that they are in a public place does not mean they are free to interact as they please.

I think some good advice has been given in this thread - particularly post #3. Insha'Allaah that will be sufficient.


Thread closed.