stuffed up

[sevgi]

how do u get rid of that feeling where u kno u have stuffed up really bad...and that things will just never be the same again???

not in terms of religion but like relationships and stuff...with frends, close frends...etc...

how do u make the freshness and the purity come back...when nothing was wrong...

 

[Kittygyal]

Salamualikum.

Time comes sis, it happens hun.

May Allaah make it easy for you and ease your pains. AMin

Best thing sister is do dua'ah and ask for forgivness from Allaah.

Ma'assalama

 

[^..sTr!vEr..^]

make a lot of dua....this will help inshAllah and try to be friendly even when the other person is not ur type....

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

honestly? if you been through hard times, and ur still friends, why would you wanna go bak 2 the way things were b4? dont you know healing makes things stronga.... isnt that wat ur goin thru? a healing phase? over time u n ur friend will have something stronga... jus like when muscles get stressed they form more layers n become stronga...

may Allah make ur friendship one which carries on in jannah, Ameen

 

[Anwarica]

If you want to feel good, look at the others who have deeper troubles!
That's something that helps all the time .. you can begin thinking in stages like:
Someone who has all your troubles in addition he/she also has this:
- Lost his parents when he was a kid.
- Lost his parents when he was a kid as they were slaughtered in front of him.
- Lost all his family and he saw them slaughtered in front of him.
- Lost all his family and he saw them slaughtered in front of him and he suffers from hepatitis.
- Lost all his family and he saw them slaughtered in front of him and he suffers from many diseases.
- Lost all his family and he saw them slaughtered in front of him and he suffers from many diseases, he doesn't have any money to buy some food.
- Lost all his family and he saw them slaughtered in front of him and he suffers from many diseases, he doesn't have any money to buy some food and he's being tortured in jails.
- ............... And so on ..... >>

You might think it's imaginary, but it happens even in worse aspects .. there are people refusing to leave jail because they have no place to go and no food to eat, there are people who wish to die to have some rest from their diseases especially when their liver is deteriorated and no analgesics is allowed .. keep thinking this way, you will be sure that we're very very lucky. Alhumdolilah

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

how do u make the freshness and the purity come back...when nothing was wrong...

perhaps then you are 'growing out' of your friends. thats possible, considering the fact that there is nothing wrong between you. maybe you are both moving to different levels, doing different things, etc, thus the drifting apart. and why do you say that you stuffed up. it takes tu tu tango. maybe they have also done something to 'impure' your relationship. dont just look at it one sided.

 

[Woodrow]

This is called growth. Growth is seldom free from pain. It hurts to see life head you in directions different from the direction it is heading some of those who are so close to you. yet, that is also a beauty of life. Each of us branches off as an individual and take on the joy of becoming a productive part of this existence.

This is the time we learn to fly and soar. some of us are destined to soar with eagles and others are meant to stay close to the ground and be the song singers, like the meadow larks. Our own individual beauty blooms and we discover that we are not part of the flock, we are ourselves and are now ready to live life as we are meant to be, not the life others want us to be.

Now is the time that your values become real and you are able to be a true Muslim and serve Allaah(swt) as only you can.

 

[snakelegs]

If you want to feel good, look at the others who have deeper troubles!
That's something that helps all the time .. you can begin thinking in stages like:
Someone who has all your troubles in addition he/she also has this:
- Lost his parents when he was a kid.
- Lost his parents when he was a kid as they were slaughtered in front of him.
- Lost all his family and he saw them slaughtered in front of him.
- Lost all his family and he saw them slaughtered in front of him and he suffers from hepatitis.
- Lost all his family and he saw them slaughtered in front of him and he suffers from many diseases.
- Lost all his family and he saw them slaughtered in front of him and he suffers from many diseases, he doesn't have any money to buy some food.
- Lost all his family and he saw them slaughtered in front of him and he suffers from many diseases, he doesn't have any money to buy some food and he's being tortured in jails.
- ............... And so on ..... >>

You might think it's imaginary, but it happens even in worse aspects .. there are people refusing to leave jail because they have no place to go and no food to eat, there are people who wish to die to have some rest from their diseases especially when their liver is deteriorated and no analgesics is allowed .. keep thinking this way, you will be sure that we're very very lucky. Alhumdolilah

you know, with all due respect - all that is irrelevant. true, but meaningless.
when you're hurt/going through pain, it is real and that fact that others are worse off makes no difference whatsoever.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

no, im going to disagree with that. i think looking at others below you helps. however, that dosn't mean that you shouldn't seek help for your problem.

 

[snakelegs]

if someone drops a 50lb rock on your foot, does it help to hear about all the amputees in the world?
well, i won't argue any more because i don't want to turn the OP's thread in to an argument.
peace

 

[sevgi]

thank u everyone for ur replies.

i am one of the luckiest people as the person i had hurt didnt take my crudeness to heart and has accepted my apology.i am still hurt tho...i cant believ i stuffed up so bad...

thanks all.it hurt me so...but u all gave lovely advice...esp Woodrow...ur always there arent u...

and snakes and maryam...i have to agree...thinking abt the people worse off doesnt help ease the pain..but it does help get things into perspective...u sort of 'snap out' of the severity of everything in relation to others.

salams.

i think this thread could be closed...i am content up to u guys tho..if others will benefit..by all means...keep it up and running.

 

[sevgi]

 

[Re.TiReD]

:salamext:

you know, relationships grow and flourish, just like a flower, if there were no changes...the relationship would be stagnant, it'd go off and lose it's soul. So whatever happens, weather good or bad, happy or sad, are all a reason to move forward and make changes for the better. You CAN take some good out of every bad situation.

 

[sevgi]

jazakallah khayr sis...

much appreciated.you know, i know all this..but it is so hard to act on when u are in the situation...

elhamdulillah i have friends and brothers and sisters like you to remind me and slap me back to reality and give me that shoulder shove to urge forward.

jazakallah again.

ws.

 

[Re.TiReD]

Wa Iyyaki

 

[rozeena]

1 fing i knw sis is once u stuff up etc. it all changes u can neva b hw u were b4 weda its close relative frend etc. jus let it be. bt do lotsa dua as mentioned b4. wt hapend if dnt mind me askin???

 

[sevgi]

1 fing i knw sis is once u stuff up etc. it all changes u can neva b hw u were b4 weda its close relative frend etc. jus let it be. bt do lotsa dua as mentioned b4. wt hapend if dnt mind me askin???

jazakallah for ur concern...

however it is personal...but the jist is that i totally flipped my frends good intentions around and blamed them of being a very bad person.

even tho they were trying to do good, i was selfish and drew out the bad in the situation...etc...

it is convoluted...

dnt worry...

 

[rozeena]

jazakallah for ur concern...

however it is personal...but the jist is that i totally flipped my frends good intentions around and blamed them of being a very bad person.

even tho they were trying to do good, i was selfish and drew out the bad in the situation...etc...

it is convoluted...

dnt worry...

i understand sis. may allah may evryfing beta 4 u inshallah.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

jazakallah khayr sis...

much appreciated.you know, i know all this..but it is so hard to act on when u are in the situation...

elhamdulillah i have friends and brothers and sisters like you to remind me and slap me back to reality and give me that shoulder shove to urge forward.

jazakallah again.

ws.

yeah sis. i know what you mean. its like before or after thhe situtation you 'psych' yourself up, warning yourself, etc. then bam!! everything changes when you're there.

 

[Anwarica]

you know, with all due respect - all that is irrelevant. true, but meaningless.
when you're hurt/going through pain, it is real and that fact that others are worse off makes no difference whatsoever.

I agree with you, it was irrelevant indeed, I think I posted it in the wrong thread. Anyway, I should start a new thread about this method as I don't find the thread where I had to post this reply.