Teach me to be a good mother.

[syilla]

Please give good advises, quranic verses, hadith and teach me on how to be a good mother.

p/s:- please don't move this thread to other section because i think family section should come in hand with marriage section.

wassallam

 

[Skillganon]

JazakAllah khair sis for opening this thread.

 

[Umar001]

Please give good advises, quranic verses, hadith and teach me on how to be a good mother.

p/s:- please don't move this thread to other section because i think family section should come in hand with marriage section.

wassallam

Teach them Qu'ran and make du'a that they become hafidh.

Then personally I'd teach them some important books for the basics of the deen, and also teach them Imam Nawawi's hadith.

Like:

From Anas, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, say:

"Allah the Almighty has said: 'O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me, and hope in Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds in the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I shall forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with an earthful of sins and were you then to face Me, without having associated anything with Me, I shall grant you an earthful of pardon.'"

[Recorded by Al-Tirmidhi, who said that it is a good and sound hadith]​

Really emphesise the aspect that Allah wants us to be with Him and that He will love us if we try to be good insha'Allah.

Also, I would teach them the hadith, which i cannot find now, about that if mankind and everything gethered to do something bad it could not happen unless Allah allows it, and that if they all gathered to do good for you it would not happen unless Allah allows it, so that your children fear and love in their extremes noone but Allah and rely upon Allah only.

 

[Al_Imaan]

^^i think she's askin' about herself :?....i think ayats from the quran and hadith that state how a mother can fulfill her duties...

 

[Umar001]

^^i think she's askin' about herself :?....i think ayats from the quran and hadith that state how a mother can fulfill her duties...

Ohhhh, my bad, your pretty sharp.

Theres a book, The Ideal Muslimah, sounds interesting

 

[syilla]

^^i think she's askin' about herself :?....i think ayats from the quran and hadith that state how a mother can fulfill her duties...

no not really...

that hadith is beautiful....

i want anything about being a mother, how to teach our children too and etc.

 

[siFilam]

asalamualikum,
here is an advice that, InshAllah, I will also practice once I have kids. DON'T BRING ANY TV IN THE HOUSE. iits for all parents not just mothers. hope this helps sister.
-SI-

 

[syilla]

asalamualikum,
here is an advice that, InshAllah, I will also practice once I have kids. DON'T BRING ANY TV IN THE HOUSE. iits for all parents not just mothers. hope this helps sister.
-SI-

lol u are absolutely right.

what if our hubby loves watching tv?what should we do?

 

[siFilam]

lol u are absolutely right.

what if our hubby loves watching tv?what should we do?

lol, then Inshallah it will be a good war to fight.
on the serious side, this is really important. Inshallah I want I all my kids to be Hafiz and Alim so TV will only destroy their mind, heart and time. I know ppl will say what about the good stuff on TV like news and many other things, but the bad and haram things on TV outweighs the benefits it brings.
May Allah give us the ability to do good. Amin.

 

[jzcasejz]

Heres A Book Called 'The Ideal Muslimah' And There's A Whole Chapter On Children...

I Haven't Read It Myself So Cant Guarantee It's What You Looking For...But Nonetheless I'll Post It Here :

..::The Ideal Muslimah::..​

http://www.islambasics.com/view.php?bkID=104

​

 

[BlackIce_645]

lol, then Inshallah it will be a good war to fight.
on the serious side, this is really important. Inshallah I want I all my kids to be Hafiz and Alim so TV will only destroy their mind, heart and time. I know ppl will say what about the good stuff on TV like news and many other things, but the bad and haram things on TV outweighs the benefits it brings.
May Allah give us the ability to do good. Amin.

If i may, i would disagree with not allowing a TV in the house. The reason is as follows: children will see TV somewhere, sometime. If you have not instilled in them the values of what is good and what is not good to watch, when they have the opportunity to watch tv, they will be tempted. Not only that, they will be tempted to watch something that you completely disagree with morally as well as personally. This occurs quite frequently in households which shield their children from many things. Now, i am not saying to turn on the tv and have your children gain access to all things under the sun, but i would say allow them to watch tv, but instill in them reasoning behind why they should not watch certain tv programs. This way, when you are not around, they will be more apt to change the channel when something inappropriate comes on.

That being said, the idea of blocking all tv altogether is not a bad one, it just has its downsides just like everything else.

 

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:



..In normal situations, telling a lie is forbidden, whether it is said in earnest or in jest. Consider the following Hadith in which Abdullah Ibn Masoud quotes the prophet as saying: “Lying is improper whether in earnest or in jest. (All lying is unacceptable) even if any one of you promises his child something and does not fulfill his promise. (Related by Al-Bukahri in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad and Abu Dawood).

This Hadith shows how greatly repugnant lying is viewed as in Islam. Most people do not find anything wrong with not fulfilling a certain promise given to young a child. The child is bound to forget or he can be easily appeased with something different. But deliberate unfulfilment of a promise given by a parent to a child is unacceptable. In order to emphasise this last point, et me quote this report by Abdullah Ibn Amir, a young companion of the Prophet. He says: “My mother called me one day when Allah’s messenger (peace be upon him) was in our house. She said “Come and I will give you something.” Allah’s Messenger (Peace be upon him) asked her: “What do you intend to give him?” She said: “I want to give him dates.” The Prophet said: “If you were not to give him something, your statement would be recorded against you as a lie.”

http://www.islamicvoice.com/january.2000/hadith.htm
​

 

[Umar001]

I think the idea of blocking tv, is one like the idea of wearing hijab. In the sense that unless you explain to the child why the action is being done they will some time or another yearn to take steps to undo what you have done. How many teenage girls now days end up taking the hijab off because their parents didnt explain the importance, they just used to say 'Put it on' and now the girls thinking they have no reason but because their parents said so, take it off. Similarly, if the parent does not install the moral reasons behind an action, the child is likely to oppose the action as it grows older just because there is no reason to uphold it, specially if the action is something which might bring dillusional satisfaction.

 

[syilla]

If i may, i would disagree with not allowing a TV in the house. The reason is as follows: children will see TV somewhere, sometime. If you have not instilled in them the values of what is good and what is not good to watch, when they have the opportunity to watch tv, they will be tempted. Not only that, they will be tempted to watch something that you completely disagree with morally as well as personally. This occurs quite frequently in households which shield their children from many things. Now, i am not saying to turn on the tv and have your children gain access to all things under the sun, but i would say allow them to watch tv, but instill in them reasoning behind why they should not watch certain tv programs. This way, when you are not around, they will be more apt to change the channel when something inappropriate comes on.

That being said, the idea of blocking all tv altogether is not a bad one, it just has its downsides just like everything else.

Actually, for me i'm not really worried about the temptation. I'm more worried about time wasting. Not to mentioned long advertisements. :smile:

 

[siFilam]

If i may, i would disagree with not allowing a TV in the house. The reason is as follows: children will see TV somewhere, sometime. If you have not instilled in them the values of what is good and what is not good to watch, when they have the opportunity to watch tv, they will be tempted. Not only that, they will be tempted to watch something that you completely disagree with morally as well as personally. This occurs quite frequently in households which shield their children from many things. Now, i am not saying to turn on the tv and have your children gain access to all things under the sun, but i would say allow them to watch tv, but instill in them reasoning behind why they should not watch certain tv programs. This way, when you are not around, they will be more apt to change the channel when something inappropriate comes on.

That being said, the idea of blocking all tv altogether is not a bad one, it just has its downsides just like everything else.

Alhamdullilah, this is a very good point. But I think (plz correct me if I am wrong, I still much to learn) the temptation is true for all other things we’re not supposed to do. I don’t know how TV shows and commercials are in other countries so my point of view is from someone who lives in the US. Inshallah I plan to raise my kids here too.
My point is, in the US even the commercials have so much haram stuff. for example, the cartoons, (I grew up watching cartoon) there is no sense of shame in some of the cartoons and remember Hayah is ½ of Iman. The girls wear haram cloths (ex look up supergirl) and they promote too many un-Islamic views …I can go on. Y expose kids to these things at such a tender age. If they grow up understanding why a certain thing is harmful to their Iman then Inshallah they will avoid them once they are older. Again, we have to make Du’a to Allah, The Most Merciful, because He is the only source of guidance.
Temptations will always exist because we are here in this world to be tested. And there will be more temptations if the source of the sin is in your own house. My purpose is to implement in my kids the Islamic morals and the reasons behind those morals through the help and guidance of Allah, The Most High. Then Inshallah it will be easier for them to fight of their temptation.
-SF-

 

[princess]

a good muslim mother would teach her kids
all about islam from a young age, n teach dem da
difference between right n wrong.

 

[Ra`eesah]

Assalamu'Alaykum

I can already tell you are a good mother Maasha`Allaah.

Here is a wonderful site with PLENTY of information I am sure you will love it, bi`ithnillaah.

http://oum_abdulaziz.tripod.com/mothering.htm

 

[Maidah]

Alhamdullilah, this is a very good point. But I think (plz correct me if I am wrong, I still much to learn) the temptation is true for all other things we’re not supposed to do. I don’t know how TV shows and commercials are in other countries so my point of view is from someone who lives in the US. Inshallah I plan to raise my kids here too.
My point is, in the US even the commercials have so much haram stuff. for example, the cartoons, (I grew up watching cartoon) there is no sense of shame in some of the cartoons and remember Hayah is ½ of Iman. The girls wear haram cloths (ex look up supergirl) and they promote too many un-Islamic views …I can go on. Y expose kids to these things at such a tender age. If they grow up understanding why a certain thing is harmful to their Iman then Inshallah they will avoid them once they are older. Again, we have to make Du’a to Allah, The Most Merciful, because He is the only source of guidance.
Temptations will always exist because we are here in this world to be tested. And there will be more temptations if the source of the sin is in your own house. My purpose is to implement in my kids the Islamic morals and the reasons behind those morals through the help and guidance of Allah, The Most High. Then Inshallah it will be easier for them to fight of their temptation.
-SF-

Sis you're absolutely right but if you take away the source of temptation then the point of the test will be lost. The best is to test you children living amongst the temptation, because that's when they'll adhere to it with confidence, at home and outside and understand the reason behind the decisions. You've to put foraward the rights and the wrongs to children and guide them to choose the right through your upbringing.

In my opinion the way to be a good mother is to potray yourself as a rolemodel. If you want your kids to do something you must also be seen doing it yourself. Why i said it is cuz i've seen many parents tell their kids 2 do certain stuff whilst they contradict themselves by their own actions. Cuz it's said that a childs 1st school is his mum.

 

[asma14]

If i may, i would disagree with not allowing a TV in the house. The reason is as follows: children will see TV somewhere, sometime. If you have not instilled in them the values of what is good and what is not good to watch, when they have the opportunity to watch tv, they will be tempted. Not only that, they will be tempted to watch something that you completely disagree with morally as well as personally. This occurs quite frequently in households which shield their children from many things. Now, i am not saying to turn on the tv and have your children gain access to all things under the sun, but i would say allow them to watch tv, but instill in them reasoning behind why they should not watch certain tv programs. This way, when you are not around, they will be more apt to change the channel when something inappropriate comes on.

That being said, the idea of blocking all tv altogether is not a bad one, it just has its downsides just like everything else.

yes, i agree because i have little cousins who are 6 and 4 years old, and they have no TV in their house. My mom babysits them, so we don't watch much TV when they're aorund, but if we do open it, they are so eager to watch it because it's something that they're really interested in...they dont even know whats coming on; they only watch it for the sake of watching TV...

 

[tomtomsmom]

Islamically speaking I can offer no advice. But mother to mother there isn't much difference. Start your children learning manners very early. Before my son could even talk I started to teach him by the way I spoke to him. Children learn through example. Be the kind of person you want your children to be. Never speak to them with anger in your heart. They will always know. Praise for good actions will be remembered more than harsh words for bad actions.
Sis there are so many more things.......if you want to we can talk in pm's or on msn.
Peace