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Thread: teenage children - HELP!
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glo

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Now, I am the mother of a teenage daughter ...
I know that there are many youngsters here in this forum, so I come to you for advice.

My daughter is 14, and - as far as I can see - has no interests other than sitting in her room, playing her DS or spending time chatting to friends on the computer.
Okay, so I exaggerate slightly ... she also likes reading and she has just started playing the flute.

Thing is, she seems to have hardly any energy or motivation to do anything that requires an even small amount of physical effort. Housework, homework, her paper round, even going for a walk or to the shops ... everything seems too much!
She seems more like and old woman than a young girl!

I took her to the doctor to have her checked over and her iron levels tested. But physically she seems fine.

Is this a teenage thing?
What should I do? Be gentle and understanding (heck, I am not feeling understanding! :uuh
Be tough?

Please, young and old people out there, give me your thoughts and advice!

Thanks
 
Thanks for approving this thread.
Any thoughts, anybody ...?
 
:sl:

Sounds a bit like me :uuh:.

At this age, us children are under a lot of pressure. Pressure from schoolwork, friends etc etc, which is whilst at home we don't like to do much.

Be tough, but not too tough, also try and spend some time with her, just talking about her and how she is etc [but again not too much time ], i think that would be the best. Insha'Allah.

:w:
 
:sl:
Could try organising a picnic with her. Like a visit to the park or whatnot. Maybe she's simply bored - a good picnic outside with the sun is always good fun.

Pack some strawberries too - they taste so good in the summer.

If not, you could take her on a shopping trip - or any activity really as long as it's WITH her. Make her feel like she's your daughter and you her mother; let the relationship be like best friend.
 
:sl:
This used to be the same with may friends/family member the same age as me (16ish). But it soon kinda disappeared after they started doing what they liked. (sports/games etc..)
i have to admit i WAS-not any longer was similar ;D
 
from reading your post i feel all mothers are the same,they all want the best for their kids
Regarding your daughter,i would say spend at least 1 hour a day just talking to her and doing things together to de programme her,you are probably thinking 'what kind of crap is he talking about' kids watch tv,go on the internet and talk with friends whether they are good friends or not only god knows but all of the above have a great influence,so therefore as a mother you have a great battle on your hands to lead you daughter to become a good child that obeys her mother
 
i think its part of puberty...

girls can go cranky at that age and don't want to know about anything else.

Just try making her spend some 'quality' time with her. go for a walk together. have some tea. eat dinner and discuss what your concerns are and what you expect/want from her.
 
' Am a teen.

aamirsaab said:
:sl:
Could try organising a picnic with her. Like a visit to the park or whatnot. .
Click to expand...

Boring.

Pack some strawberries too - they taste so good in the summer.
Click to expand...

Boring.

If not, you could take her on a shopping trip
Click to expand...

Losing-the-will-to-live-type-boring.


I enjoy stuff like...

Bowling
Sports
Going around on my own in a busy place to clear thoughts

But then again, I'm Male, so that might make a difference as to what she may enjoy.

Also what Abdul Baari said is good.

My Dad sometimes calls me an old man like you've described your daughter... . I just need run around before I become 'young' and lively enough for him.
 
glo said:
Now, I am the mother of a teenage daughter ...
I know that there are many youngsters here in this forum, so I come to you for advice.

My daughter is 14, and - as far as I can see - has no interests other than sitting in her room, playing her DS or spending time chatting to friends on the computer.
Okay, so I exaggerate slightly ... she also likes reading and she has just started playing the flute.

Thing is, she seems to have hardly any energy or motivation to do anything that requires an even small amount of physical effort. Housework, homework, her paper round, even going for a walk or to the shops ... everything seems too much!
She seems more like and old woman than a young girl!

I took her to the doctor to have her checked over and her iron levels tested. But physically she seems fine.

Is this a teenage thing?
What should I do? Be gentle and understanding (heck, I am not feeling understanding! :uuh
Be tough?

Please, young and old people out there, give me your thoughts and advice!

Thanks
Click to expand...


hello,
I am a teenage girl and it seems like normal behaviour. I enjoy being locked up in my room on the computer or reading. Soemtimes(actually most of the time) teens do not want to talk to their parents and just want to be left alone.
 
When i was 14-16 i was spending more time outside in the area than at home
 
Nah dont go shopping with her unless your going to buy her everything everyone knows that. Or give her money to go shopping.
Picnic is boring.
Give her an ipod and a basketball hoop, and she wont ever play DS again!
But yah i guess its probably just pressure from stuff. Thought pretty much everyone in my nieghborhood stay inside, except the teens, NO teen stay inside during the day OR night here. lol. they go to like skateparks, shopping, soccor, etc etc.
 
I think it is just a phase, i went through it and my lil sister is going through it now; she is either on the pc or ps3 24/7. I find that nagging or forcing them to go out does not help. I would suggest going to the cinema or something once in a while cos we tend to stay in our rooms all day cos there is nothing else to do. Dont worry about it, she'l probs just grow out of it. I havn't been v. helpful but anyhu good luck wit everthing.
 
yep, electronic stuff can do that to kids and believe it or not, adults too !


i guess you can call it a side-effect of addiction
 
Hullo Glo

Woops I made a typo and accidently wrote Glop instead of Glo :embarrass

Hmm anywayyyy....You know, (Now this may sound like a load of custard cream) but at that age teens are tryna find their place in the world, what they wanna do with themselves and most often than not, plotting on how to take over the world ... I kid you not :muddlehea Actually I'm kiddin

When I was that age, like 5 years ago...I'd sit in my room and read aaalllll day....literally 5 hours at a time, I dont know why exactly but I know that I enjoyed my own company. I also know that if I had something in my mind, I'd prefer to stay alone, I'd NEVER tell anybody...and the only way my mum could get anything out of me was by taking me out on a loooonnnng drive! And that really worked believe it or not.

Soooo.....go somewhere with her, take her out and try getting her to open up...maybe she has something on her mind? Its probably a normal teenage thing on her mind but maybe she needs to get summin off of her chest.

And also...she probz dont feel like doing anything around the house because of factors like school work/stress/exams etc. When you come home from that sorta environment (full of stress and worrrrk and more worrrk etc etc) you really cant be bothered doing anything at home. Heck I'm at uni only 3 days a week and I'm like that! Lol

So yeah...Thats enough of my essay, I think most of it is a load of candy-floss but there ya gooo

Goodbye
 
aamirsaab said:
If not, you could take her on a shopping trip - or any activity really as long as it's WITH her. Make her feel like she's your daughter and you her mother; let the relationship be like best friend.
Click to expand...
Yeah, shopping would probably do it!!

I must say, we do enjoy girlie times our from time to time. Although I don't enjoy clothes shopping myself very much (I get most of my own clothes from the charity shop), I do enjoy spending the time just with her.

But it seems hard to make that time, when you are a working mother of two children, with other commitments too ...

But you are right ... I will try harder to make time. Especially with the summer hols coming up ...
 
Ahmedjunior said:
Regarding your daughter,i would say spend at least 1 hour a day just talking to her and doing things together to de programme her,you are probably thinking 'what kind of crap is he talking about' kids watch tv,go on the internet and talk with friends whether they are good friends or not only god knows but all of the above have a great influence,so therefore as a mother you have a great battle on your hands to lead you daughter to become a good child that obeys her mother
Click to expand...

Brother_Mujahid said:
Just try making her spend some 'quality' time with her. go for a walk together. have some tea. eat dinner and discuss what your concerns are and what you expect/want from her.
Click to expand...

AnonymousGender said:
hello,
I am a teenage girl and it seems like normal behaviour. I enjoy being locked up in my room on the computer or reading. Soemtimes(actually most of the time) teens do not want to talk to their parents and just want to be left alone.
Click to expand...
Do you think on the whole teenager like to spend time with their parents?? I don't think that's always the message they send ...

Would it be useful to encourage her to tell my (calmly), when she really wants to be left alone, and for me to (calmly) try to accept that?
(I'm afraid I can be a bit of a naggy mother at times ... :embarrass)
 
Ali. said:
' Am a teen.
Boring.

Boring.

Losing-the-will-to-live-type-boring.

I enjoy stuff like...

Bowling
Sports
Going around on my own in a busy place to clear thoughts

But then again, I'm Male, so that might make a difference as to what she may enjoy.

Also what Abdul Baari said is good.

My Dad sometimes calls me an old man like you've described your daughter... . I just need run around before I become 'young' and lively enough for him.
Click to expand...

truemuslim said:
Nah dont go shopping with her unless your going to buy her everything everyone knows that. Or give her money to go shopping.
Picnic is boring.
Give her an ipod and a basketball hoop, and she wont ever play DS again!
But yah i guess its probably just pressure from stuff. Thought pretty much everyone in my nieghborhood stay inside, except the teens, NO teen stay inside during the day OR night here. lol. they go to like skateparks, shopping, soccor, etc etc.
Click to expand...
I sense that the boys here are having a different perspective!

I think my dauhgter would die if I took her to the skatepark! :giggling:
 
Thank you all for your advice, especially you youngsters.

I am somewhat reassured (for now) that teenagers are human beings too, and not some kind of alien creatures who are taken over our children ...! ;D

I will let you know how we get on ...