Here is a joke I heard at church when I was little growing as a Christian. It is a religious joke, but I always liked it and thought it was a very funny joke, while not making fun of God or religion. If anything, it made me think. I changed some things, to try to make it appropriate to Islam (i.e. removing Jesus, peace be with him as God, changing the setting, taking some huge liberties to make the story my own, etc). I hope that this isn't offensive, or against the Qu'ran, I am a new revert, so I am trying to do my best. People say Muslims are humorless, and from what I read on this forum, that is a huge lie! My intention is not to mock Islam in any way, and I hope this follows this tenant. I am still trying to understand what the Qu'ran says about joking (I read the sticky about permissible jokes, and I hope this follows that). My intention of this joke is to a)bring people closer to Allah (SWT), b)appreciate the blessings in their life c) bring some truth to what happened during Katrina (i.e. National Guard going door to door demanding people to evacuate, looters, etc). If ANYONE has a problem with this, PLEASE let me know, why and what was I should edit this story to make it acceptable. Really, it is meant to be a parable, with a funny (but hopefully truthful) ending.
The Flood
There once was a man named Jackson, he lived in New Orleans in 2004 during hurricane Katrina. Jackson was a man of God, and prayed every day 5 times a day, he wasn't perfect of course, but he took his religious obligations seriously. As the meteorologists got word of the hurricane's path that morning, his neighbors and family came by and urged him to evacuate.
"Please Jackson, we need to go now, otherwise we will surely drown!" said his wife.
"No, I will not leave my home, Allaah (SWT) will protect me and guide me through this trial." replied Jackson. As his family left, Jackson pulled out his prayer rug, and began the Fajr prayer.
The levees broke around 1PM, and water slowly started seeping into the house. At this time, a man in an ATV (4x4 all terrain vehicle) saw him reading Qu'ran through the window of his living. He was shocked that Jackson was reading so calmly. He approached Jackson and asked him if he realized that water was entering his house.
"Yes, but it is God's will. He will protect me and guide me through this tribulation." replied Jackson.
"Well, dat dun might be truth or toi bracque! but boug, y'all best be ridin on out of 'ere. Storm's acommin, Oo ye yi! The sky's lookin noir!" he replied.
"Allah (SWT) will protect me". Jackson replied, unable to understand the man's Cajun dialect. The man drove away and as the living room floor was flooded, and Jackson did the Dhur prayer on top of his dining table. While his couch floated away, the table stayed firmly in one place.
Afternoon came, and the water's rose even faster. The national guard had issued a mandatory evacuation, and arrived in a speed boat going door to door to check for those stranded.
"GET OUT NOW!" They ordered Jackson when they saw him reading Qu'ran from his second floor window. The first floor was completely underwater at this time. Jackson looked up, smiled, and continued reading. The soldiers entered the house through the bedroom window, guns drawn and pointed at Jackson. Jackson wasn't afraid as he knew Allah (SWT) would protect him. Upon realizing he was unarmed and not a threat, the soldiers lowered their weapons.
"We have issued a mandatory evacuation, sir. Could you come with us, we are taking survivors to the stadium? " said the soldier.
"No". said Jackson. "Allah (SWT) will protect me and guide me through this time of trouble."
"Forget this guy!" replied one of the soldiers, "we have other people that want to live to save!"
The first soldier that talked to Jackson ignored him, went back to the speedboat and brought Jackson a life vest and a flare. "Here, in case you change your mind."
"Thank you, brother." replied Jackson. "May God protect you."
The two soldiers headed back to the boat, however the one who gave Jackson the vest, turned around and said "assalamu alaykum" with a smile. Jackson began his Asr prayer as the waters slowly seeped into the second floor.
As dusk approached, the water was becoming too much, Jackson had to escape into his attic. A man in a canoe who was also riding out the storm saw light coming from his attic and approached Jackson.
"Hey man" said the man, "You need a hand here bro?" The man was armed to the teeth with weaponry of all kinds and supplies. He had been going home to home looting supplies for his own selfish needs. He did not care for Jackson, he only stopped hoping to find supplies.
"No." replied Jackson. "I am well here. Allah (SWT) will protect me and guide me through the thunder."
The man rolled his eyes, pointed his gun at Jackson and said "gimme that." And took Jackson's life vest and flare gun. As the man left, the canoe was hit by a rouge guest of wind and capsized. Jackson stood to try to help, but the man was too far. The canoe, life vest and flare gun all floated back to Jackson, still intact and working. Jackson began Maghrib prayer. Yet his attic was soaked in water, his prayer mat remained dry.
Night came. The house was almost entirely covered in water. Jackson had taken wooden planks from the canoe to make a fire on the roof of his house. The waters were quickly surrounding him, it would only be a matter of time. A helicopter appeared out of no where, it was the national guard again, in fact, it was the muslim soldier from before.
"I couldn't just let you drown here without coming back brother!" he shouted from the bullhorn. "Do need rescue? Or do you put your faith in God still?".
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]"No!" Jackson replied. " Allah (SWT) will protect me and guide me through this tonight!" He yelled back.[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]"What?! Can't hear you!!" said the man in the helicopter. "We are running out of time! We need to know now!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]Slightly frustrated, Jackson did the only thing he could think of, he sat down his prayer mat, which became soaked on top of the roof, and began praying the Isha. The waters became to evelop him, but he continued praying. He was completly underwater as he reached the final rakah, and accapted his fate as the will of Allah(SWT).[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]......[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]Jackson awakens in Paradise to be welcomed by the angel Gabriel.[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]He immediatly asked "Why Gabriel? Why did Allah (SWT) not save me from the flood? Have I not been a good man?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]"Oh but you have lived well! And He did send you aid!" replied the Angel Gabriel. "He sent you a canoe, ATV, even soldiers not once, but twice!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]</end>[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]----[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]Hope you liked it. Took me awhile to do, writing is a passion of mine, what I do for a living, and would like to incorporate that with my new beliefs. The morale I got from this story was that sometimes God sends us the tools we need to save us from whatever situation we are in, but our own imperfectness sometimes fails to see that. Like I said before, if you have any problems with this joke/story, let me know![/FONT]
Assalamu Alaikum, Duraldo.
The Flood
There once was a man named Jackson, he lived in New Orleans in 2004 during hurricane Katrina. Jackson was a man of God, and prayed every day 5 times a day, he wasn't perfect of course, but he took his religious obligations seriously. As the meteorologists got word of the hurricane's path that morning, his neighbors and family came by and urged him to evacuate.
"Please Jackson, we need to go now, otherwise we will surely drown!" said his wife.
"No, I will not leave my home, Allaah (SWT) will protect me and guide me through this trial." replied Jackson. As his family left, Jackson pulled out his prayer rug, and began the Fajr prayer.
The levees broke around 1PM, and water slowly started seeping into the house. At this time, a man in an ATV (4x4 all terrain vehicle) saw him reading Qu'ran through the window of his living. He was shocked that Jackson was reading so calmly. He approached Jackson and asked him if he realized that water was entering his house.
"Yes, but it is God's will. He will protect me and guide me through this tribulation." replied Jackson.
"Well, dat dun might be truth or toi bracque! but boug, y'all best be ridin on out of 'ere. Storm's acommin, Oo ye yi! The sky's lookin noir!" he replied.
"Allah (SWT) will protect me". Jackson replied, unable to understand the man's Cajun dialect. The man drove away and as the living room floor was flooded, and Jackson did the Dhur prayer on top of his dining table. While his couch floated away, the table stayed firmly in one place.
Afternoon came, and the water's rose even faster. The national guard had issued a mandatory evacuation, and arrived in a speed boat going door to door to check for those stranded.
"GET OUT NOW!" They ordered Jackson when they saw him reading Qu'ran from his second floor window. The first floor was completely underwater at this time. Jackson looked up, smiled, and continued reading. The soldiers entered the house through the bedroom window, guns drawn and pointed at Jackson. Jackson wasn't afraid as he knew Allah (SWT) would protect him. Upon realizing he was unarmed and not a threat, the soldiers lowered their weapons.
"We have issued a mandatory evacuation, sir. Could you come with us, we are taking survivors to the stadium? " said the soldier.
"No". said Jackson. "Allah (SWT) will protect me and guide me through this time of trouble."
"Forget this guy!" replied one of the soldiers, "we have other people that want to live to save!"
The first soldier that talked to Jackson ignored him, went back to the speedboat and brought Jackson a life vest and a flare. "Here, in case you change your mind."
"Thank you, brother." replied Jackson. "May God protect you."
The two soldiers headed back to the boat, however the one who gave Jackson the vest, turned around and said "assalamu alaykum" with a smile. Jackson began his Asr prayer as the waters slowly seeped into the second floor.
As dusk approached, the water was becoming too much, Jackson had to escape into his attic. A man in a canoe who was also riding out the storm saw light coming from his attic and approached Jackson.
"Hey man" said the man, "You need a hand here bro?" The man was armed to the teeth with weaponry of all kinds and supplies. He had been going home to home looting supplies for his own selfish needs. He did not care for Jackson, he only stopped hoping to find supplies.
"No." replied Jackson. "I am well here. Allah (SWT) will protect me and guide me through the thunder."
The man rolled his eyes, pointed his gun at Jackson and said "gimme that." And took Jackson's life vest and flare gun. As the man left, the canoe was hit by a rouge guest of wind and capsized. Jackson stood to try to help, but the man was too far. The canoe, life vest and flare gun all floated back to Jackson, still intact and working. Jackson began Maghrib prayer. Yet his attic was soaked in water, his prayer mat remained dry.
Night came. The house was almost entirely covered in water. Jackson had taken wooden planks from the canoe to make a fire on the roof of his house. The waters were quickly surrounding him, it would only be a matter of time. A helicopter appeared out of no where, it was the national guard again, in fact, it was the muslim soldier from before.
"I couldn't just let you drown here without coming back brother!" he shouted from the bullhorn. "Do need rescue? Or do you put your faith in God still?".
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]"No!" Jackson replied. " Allah (SWT) will protect me and guide me through this tonight!" He yelled back.[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]"What?! Can't hear you!!" said the man in the helicopter. "We are running out of time! We need to know now!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]Slightly frustrated, Jackson did the only thing he could think of, he sat down his prayer mat, which became soaked on top of the roof, and began praying the Isha. The waters became to evelop him, but he continued praying. He was completly underwater as he reached the final rakah, and accapted his fate as the will of Allah(SWT).[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]......[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]Jackson awakens in Paradise to be welcomed by the angel Gabriel.[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]He immediatly asked "Why Gabriel? Why did Allah (SWT) not save me from the flood? Have I not been a good man?"[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]"Oh but you have lived well! And He did send you aid!" replied the Angel Gabriel. "He sent you a canoe, ATV, even soldiers not once, but twice!"[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]</end>[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]----[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Utopia, Palatino Linotype, Palatino, serif]Hope you liked it. Took me awhile to do, writing is a passion of mine, what I do for a living, and would like to incorporate that with my new beliefs. The morale I got from this story was that sometimes God sends us the tools we need to save us from whatever situation we are in, but our own imperfectness sometimes fails to see that. Like I said before, if you have any problems with this joke/story, let me know![/FONT]
Assalamu Alaikum, Duraldo.
