There is this boy in my class...Please advise...

[Jaanat]

There is this boy in my class and I asked him if he could let me borrow his notes and he did give them to me. He is too NICE. Too much. I wasn''t feeling well and had missed a lot of classes,so I had to get notes. But then I felt bad for him after he told me about his life and spoke to him online but then he creeped me out. I know he didn''t mean it literally but he was too MUCH!!! He said he wanted to get intimate in general (not to be confused that he said with me) and to oh pick me up and stuff because I was really sick. That he "WANTED TO SEE ME HAPPY" I told him I didn''t like such talk and left like I had work to do.

Since then I have been ignoring him because I feel so disgusted talking to guy and because of what he said. I ignore him in class. But he keeps emailing me saying "hi haven''t seen you in class lately, I am online now". I hate thinking about him. I don''t know why I do. Maybe because I have this guilty feeling of ignoring someone who is nice to me. I feel like ignoring him will only make others treat me the same way. But I really feel disgusted talking to him. Am I doing something wrong by ignoring him? I just never want to talk to him. He is nice guy but I hate talking to people who talk aboutwanting to get intimate.

Please tell me if ignoring him is right thing because I don''t want Allah hating me because I am rude to someone by not talking to them. This guy needs to realize that he annoying me. And why do I think about him? Is it because of the guilt or disgusted feeling or because of he is doing something to keep him on mind. Like ewww! I really want to know a answer. Thanks for everyone who read this. I just hate the feeling of thinking of someone who has no life. Hes like extremely nice. All the girls over there, becareful who you take notes from in class. Some don't respect your space. Thanks everyone.

 

[Muhaba]

Ignore him altogether. if you're muslim, which i assume from your name, then you shouldn't be talking to the guy at all. you can let im know that being muslim, you can't talk to him or become friends with him. Block his email address so you won't get emails from him.

 

[Jaanat]

Thanks for your reply. Yes I am Muslim. That's why I get that disgusted feeling of remembering it. I was sick and missed a lot of class, that's why I asked. But I also see him in class and get that annoyed feeling. He's those quiet ones who give you 130%. I feel guilthy because I am ignoring a human being for just certain comments and feel others will ignore me as well. I fear Allah a lot more and was wondering if I should atleast let the guy know through email that to not talk to me and then I should ignore him or just ignore totally. Because he's not those full creeps, but just being too rude by this ignoring. I feel Allah hates me for it. Sorry wasn't saying you weren't right but just so you know what I mean. I want this guilthy feeling to go away. If Allah likes that I am ignoring him, then the feeling will also go away.

 

[Jaanat]

Yes sorry just re read your message. Okay I will do that, but I hate even doing that because it gives me a disgusted feeling.

 

[tango92]

Yes sorry just re read your message. Okay I will do that, but I hate even doing that because it gives me a disgusted feeling.

trick of shaytaan. there can be no obediance to the creation at the expense of the creator

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

There is this boy in my class and I asked him if he could let me borrow his notes and he did give them to me. He is too NICE. Too much. I wasn''t feeling well and had missed a lot of classes,so I had to get notes. But then I felt bad for him after he told me about his life and spoke to him online but then he creeped me out. I know he didn''t mean it literally but he was too MUCH!!! He said he wanted to get intimate in general (not to be confused that he said with me) and to oh pick me up and stuff because I was really sick. That he "WANTED TO SEE ME HAPPY" I told him I didn''t like such talk and left like I had work to do.

Since then I have been ignoring him because I feel so disgusted talking to guy and because of what he said. I ignore him in class. But he keeps emailing me saying "hi haven''t seen you in class lately, I am online now". I hate thinking about him. I don''t know why I do. Maybe because I have this guilty feeling of ignoring someone who is nice to me. I feel like ignoring him will only make others treat me the same way. But I really feel disgusted talking to him. Am I doing something wrong by ignoring him? I just never want to talk to him. He is nice guy but I hate talking to people who talk aboutwanting to get intimate.

Please tell me if ignoring him is right thing because I don''t want Allah hating me because I am rude to someone by not talking to them. This guy needs to realize that he annoying me. And why do I think about him? Is it because of the guilt or disgusted feeling or because of he is doing something to keep him on mind. Like ewww! I really want to know a answer. Thanks for everyone who read this. I just hate the feeling of thinking of someone who has no life. Hes like extremely nice. All the girls over there, becareful who you take notes from in class. Some don't respect your space. Thanks everyone.

Asalaamu Alaikum, jazakallah for sharing your issue with us. My sister you have no loyalty to this boy at all for it is forbidden in Islam for a boy and girl to talk with each other when they are alone and because shaythan is also the third person there with them tempting evil between them.

Shaythan is trying to trick you into thinking that you should help him as he is alone and has things going on with his life but shaythan is trying to decieve you because he wants you to continue talking to him until you fall for him and eventually fall into haraam. My sister i know you only gave him your e mail out of good intentions but you must learn from this mistake and NEVER talk to or give any of your contact details to another boy again.

At first boys will always be so nice or they may tell the girl that they are going through such and such a problems just so that the girl can feel sorry for them so that their hearts can become soft and then when the girls heart if softened she eventually falls for him. This happens so much all of the time and it is very unfortunate because both boys and girls do get very hurt because of getting into haraam relationships.

You must realise that a lot of boys and girls are doing haraam things nowadays and they must fear Allah because what they are doing is evil and if they die then what will become of them when they face Allah? So save yourself from ever getting involved with a boy and keep away from any girl that goes out with boys or even talks about boys.

Hang out with good sisters who have a good character and are very decent. If you have not started wearing jilbaab and hijaab then you should do so immediatley as it is fard on you as a girl to do so and this would also keep boys away from trying to talk to you and tempt you to do haraam with them.

You have learnt from this now sister and the first thing you hould do is to change your e mail address and if the boy ever talks to you again then tell him that it is haraam for you to talk to another boy so he must leave you alone and if he keeps persisting you then report him straight away.

You are not doing wrong by changing your e mail address and telling him that you cannot talk to him if he asks you but if you continue to talk to him then you would be doing wrong and you would be getting a big sin. Shaythan wants you to feel that you are doing wrong by ignoring him but he is only trying to trick you for he is your enemy.

So change your e mail address immediatley and if he asks you why you are ignoring him then simply tell him why and then walk away from him. If he keeps on pestering you then report him immediatley and he will leave you alone for good inshallah.

My sister make the best of your youth as the youth is so precious yet and once it is gone then you will regret wasting it. If you do not pray then do so immediatley as Salaah is fard upon you. Start by praying just the fard and then build up into praying Sunnah and Nafil.

Try to join a local Muslim sisters group where you can lear Tajweed and about Islam and at the same time get involved with Islamic activities, dawah and meet with good sisters who fear Allah.

Recite the Qur'an as often as you can with its meanings and implement what you learn into your life. Do as much Zikr of Allah as you can and always keep your tongue moist with his remembrance and glorification. Do as much dua as possible asking of Allah, repenting to him and thanking him.

Serve your parents as much as you can as serving one's parents is better than jihad even. Be the best towards others and only ever speak with sisters. When you are ready for marriage then go about it in the right way and Allah will help you to find the best most pious partner who will help and lead you towards Jannah.

So my sister do not waste a second more and make the best of your youth. This is the time in your life to get closer to Allah becaue you may not live another day. Shaythan says to a lot of youth that wait until you get older to practise Islam but how do we know we have another day to live? The best worship is in the youth so make the best of now and strive to get closer to Allah and do everything to please him and stay away from anything that displeases him.


These articles wil help you to maximise the amount of good deeds you do everyday inshallah:


10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners...90404-10-steps-increasing-our-iman-faith.html

30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners...-youth-should-spend-everyday-their-lives.html

Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners...easy-dhikr-light-tongue-but-heavy-scales.html

My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-purification-soul/134289943-my-daily-ibadah-worship-check.html

10 steps to getting closer to Allah

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners-purification-soul/134292389-10-steps-getting-closer-allah.html

Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/worship...-rewarding-good-deeds-all-us-do-everyday.html

VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/worship...arding-nafl-salaahs-we-can-pray-everyday.html


Here are some very beneficial lectures to increase your imaan and fear of Allah:


AMAZING short speech -"The Goodly Life"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fugf1DcNyc


Remembrance: ask Allah for his forgiveness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-EK9r3rMzQ

Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA

HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc

Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo

How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg


Please remember me in your dua's and if you have any further questions relating to this topic or any other then please do not hesitate to ask.

And Allah knows best in all matters

 

[tigerkhan]

to me it seems u r teen ager.... sister plzzzzz dont ruin ur life. what more i can say than that.
never develop such relalations. one islamically we are not allowed and second, wallah i see many girls and boys destroy their personal strength and qualities in such things. and they got addicted to wrong things bcz of faliure/disheart in such relation.

 

[tigerkhan]

i never blv in love (that specific relation btw girl and boy)in my life. but u dont know how this hello/hi and impressing from him, penetrates to ur heart and soul. then u r bound. u cant do anything. ur strength will be destroyed. blv in my past, i was v.attractive for girls, but i know they all suffer alot bcz what they want from me is not islamically allowed. mean they want i chat them, meet them. etc etc...and i also suffer alot bcz of one in university. mean this emotional attachment to anyone without marrige will always make u suffer... and u dont know this that how much it hurt u if she/he get seperate or something like that. u r just thinking that he/she is my classfellow, i am not that much involved. that y islam dont allowed and promotes free mixing of women and man...and this is a main fitna in co-education system...bcz now a days we are obliged to study with opposite sex but to be safe from its hazards the best way, i told u...dont free with anyone even he is good...rather i says that looking good are more dangerous...

 

[Rafeeq]

Enough advise from many brothers and sisters. Emotional love is dangerous.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

just ignore the guy. no matter how persistent he is, or how much you feel sorry for him, just ignore him. as said, you have no loyalty to him so what does it matter?

he might be intending to annoy you (to get your attention) and so letting him know that he is annoying you, will just make him feel satisfied.

if he persists in annoying you, just get your mahrams onto him.

That he "WANTED TO SEE ME HAPPY" I told him I didn''t like such talk and left like I had work to do.

lets think this out rationally here.

what does this guy know about you? what do you know about him? he has seen you in class and that's it. he doesn't know you personally, and you aren't friends, etc. how personally do you know one another?

what on earth could make him say such a personal thing like that? isn't that abit strange to you?

you say things like that to people you have known forever, not some random class mate you have had next to no interaction with.

there is no need to be so naive =)

 

[Jaanat]

Salam ,

First of all thank you everyone for your long and caring responses. Yes I understand every matter of guys and it not being right in Islam to get close to them. Yes I do wear a hijab and I am in college, not in high school. I am not naive.

The matter is that I don't usually talk to guys and was sick and had missed a lot of my classes. I WOULD NEVER ASK A GUY who is so full of themselves. I am not trying to be rude by I asked one of the geeky guys (no offence). But he didn't flirt or anything in person. Trust me I wasn't talking to him as if I wanted to know more about him or even go far from that and become friends.

He just gave me his notes that he recorded in class. From there I was just talking about our school and classes/major etc. Nothing like relationship. But then he freaked me out because he started talking about his desires to get rid of stress, which I explained earlier. It wasn't targeted to me but he was being too nice.

I came here because it isn't usual for me to remember some guy. NO NO NO---let me point it out that I didn't mean that I remembered him because I was "falling" for him, NO. I wanted to know was he doing magic on me to remember him? Because I was so disgusted by it. Is it because I couldn't forget such talk from someone?

Every time I pray I remember his name/the place he sits/what he said/and his face/....and I HATE it. I feel like the shaytan wont leave me alone. My prayers are all messed up. I start to say "Allah Akbar" continuously so he can be removed from my head. He is usually on the left side of my head.

Please don't say something rude as this is ridiculous. I know myself that it is. I want someone who can help me get rid of this disgusted feeling. Why do I have someone creep on my mind? By the way more info, he usually reads Anti-Christ in the beginning of class. I also have change my seats far from him.

I have also emailed him telling him that because of religion, I don't want him to email me again. Since then he hasn't and hasn't talked to me in class. Which is good. Not saying he is bad person like those flirters but just online he creeped me out. Yes I have learned my lesson of taking notes from someone.

Just please advise me on how to make my Namaz more focused. I am telling the truth that everytime I start my prayer, boom on the left side of my mind, the stuff I mentioned above comes up. I know its the act of the shaytan but c'mon why him? I try to focus so hard on it. Please let me know if someone did something to me.

I currently am coping from other problems as well. Stressed nowadays. But is there ways I can forget such horrific stuff that were said. I don't like such talk. Probably I hated it so much that now I can't forget it like a trauma?

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate even the little things you guys write. May all of you be blessed by Allah.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Salam ,

First of all thank you everyone for your long and caring responses. Yes I understand every matter of guys and it not being right in Islam to get close to them. Yes I do wear a hijab and I am in college, not in high school. I am not naive.

The matter is that I don't usually talk to guys and was sick and had missed a lot of my classes. I WOULD NEVER ASK A GUY who is so full of themselves. I am not trying to be rude by I asked one of the geeky guys (no offence). But he didn't flirt or anything in person. Trust me I wasn't talking to him as if I wanted to know more about him or even go far from that and become friends.

He just gave me his notes that he recorded in class. From there I was just talking about our school and classes/major etc. Nothing like relationship. But then he freaked me out because he started talking about his desires to get rid of stress, which I explained earlier. It wasn't targeted to me but he was being too nice.

I came here because it isn't usual for me to remember some guy. NO NO NO---let me point it out that I didn't mean that I remembered him because I was "falling" for him, NO. I wanted to know was he doing magic on me to remember him? Because I was so disgusted by it. Is it because I couldn't forget such talk from someone?

Every time I pray I remember his name/the place he sits/what he said/and his face/....and I HATE it. I feel like the shaytan wont leave me alone. My prayers are all messed up. I start to say "Allah Akbar" continuously so he can be removed from my head. He is usually on the left side of my head.

Please don't say something rude as this is ridiculous. I know myself that it is. I want someone who can help me get rid of this disgusted feeling. Why do I have someone creep on my mind? By the way more info, he usually reads Anti-Christ in the beginning of class. I also have change my seats far from him.

I have also emailed him telling him that because of religion, I don't want him to email me again. Since then he hasn't and hasn't talked to me in class. Which is good. Not saying he is bad person like those flirters but just online he creeped me out. Yes I have learned my lesson of taking notes from someone.

Just please advise me on how to make my Namaz more focused. I am telling the truth that everytime I start my prayer, boom on the left side of my mind, the stuff I mentioned above comes up. I know its the act of the shaytan but c'mon why him? I try to focus so hard on it. Please let me know if someone did something to me.

I currently am coping from other problems as well. Stressed nowadays. But is there ways I can forget such horrific stuff that were said. I don't like such talk. Probably I hated it so much that now I can't forget it like a trauma?

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate even the little things you guys write. May all of you be blessed by Allah.

Asalaamu Alaikum, my sister he has not done any black magic on you it is clearly waswas which is the evil whispers of shaythan. Shaythan is trying to take advantage of the fact that a guy has said such obscene things to you. Therefore my sister everytime you get such thoughts then you should repeat: "A'udhubillahi minashaythanirajeem" I seek refuge in Allah from shaythan. Also "Law Hawla Wala Quwutha illah billah".

Also sister if you get these whispers in Salaah then turn your head slightly to the left and spittle (blow with a little saliva) and say "A'udhubillahi minashaythanirajeem" and continue with your Salaah. Continue to do these things and inshallah things will improve.

My sister you did a mistake in talking to him in the first place and getting his e mail address but you have learnt from it now so do not keep thinking about it. Just look at it as something you have now learnt from.

Here is an E book which is very beneficial in combatting the evil whispers of shaythan:

http://islamicexorcism.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/combating-the-whisperings-of-shaytaan.pdf .

Also read this article as it will help you to improve your khushu in Salaah:

Why can't I concentrate in my Salaah?

http://www.islamicboard.com/manners...4300101-why-cant-i-concentrate-my-salaah.html

If there is anything else you need my sister then do not hesitate to ask inshallah. Please do remember me in your dua's.

And Allah knows best in all matters

 

[Jaanat]

Salam Hamza,

Thank you once again for your kind and long response. Yeah I realized how strong my shaytan is. I will follow what you have told me but lately my mind has less of him on it. Which is a good thing. Al-humdulila, I hope all goes well with it and also in your life. Thanks once again.

 

[GuestFellow]

Salam ,

First of all thank you everyone for your long and caring responses. Yes I understand every matter of guys and it not being right in Islam to get close to them. Yes I do wear a hijab and I am in college, not in high school. I am not naive.

It is not about being naive. I think everyone, at one point, lowers their guard. Your were sick and I assume you have exams coming up, and probably not as alert as you usually would be. The good news is that you've learnt that looks can be very deceiving. Never judge by how people look, people can be very deceptive.

I currently am coping from other problems as well. Stressed nowadays. But is there ways I can forget such horrific stuff that were said. I don't like such talk. Probably I hated it so much that now I can't forget it like a trauma?

Try not to think too much about it. Use your experience to help others? Turn a negative experience into something positive.