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Thread: They are in love he is 20 and her she is
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AnonymousPoster

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A 2O muslim man was the cause of the conversation of 50 muslim woman.They love each other.can they get married since they are from culture and country.
 
:sl:

If you're referring to the age difference, then that shouldn't stop them from getting married.

Islamically, age difference - even double 20 years - has no bearing on the validity and blessed character of a marriage whatsoever because our Prophet, upon him and his Family blessings and peace, said to parents: "If one comes to you [asking for your daughter] and you approve of his Religion (deen) and his character (khuluq), then marry him [to her]. If you do not do so, there will be fitna in the earth and widespread corruption." (Al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, al-Hakim.) He did not say anything about age and he knows better about our good than we ourselves.
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http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=12&ID=2568&CATE=10
 
So what if they have different culture .. if they are good for each other's imaan..what seems to be the problem?
 
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If you referring to age brother/sister they can get married regardless of cast,creed,race,age etc.
 
If you are asking for Islamic BARRIER, there isn't one. But common sense dictates that a bit of rationale is involved here. A 20 year old man, will it be easy on a sexually active male of this age to be satisfied with a 50 year old woman? Will she be able to bear the children he wants? Will he be satisfied with her health and looks and guard his gaze from the desiring of other young women? Will she be satisfied with his earning and spending ability at this early stage of his career?

These are questions to consider. She might be an asset to him actually and be his mentor, and maybe have less needs and more independence and maturity that he appreciates. His vigor might be what she is looking for, while being financially independent would not care what he can earn, or maybe he is young but successful. It is all relative.

It is not forbidden in Islam at all, but the prophet did decline to marry Fatima his daughter to Abu Bakr and Omar when they proposed, and married her to Ali ibn Abi Talib, and sighted his age being young and closer to hers as one of the factors. In another instance a young man came to the prophet to marry an old divorcee, and the prophet checked him and said: "Wouldn't you rather a young girl, to play with her and for her to play with you?"

So do not think that just because it is permissible, they would not need to place rational thinking into the equation.

I think they need to decide whether their culture and distance and age difference are important for them or not for themselves, and need to be fair to one another and understand honestly what expectations they have of each other. If they still wish to move ahead then of course Islamically there is no barrier.
 
:sl:

If you are asking for Islamic BARRIER, there isn't one
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True. However, not many of us know that the Prophet (saw) disliked men marrying a woman past the child-bearing age. I will include the full content in detail in a separate thread inshaAllah.


:wa:
 
:sl:
to add to sampharo's point, i think its important also to consider the "mentality difference" before getting married. meaning a 50 year old was raised in a different way to a 20 year old and it in two different generations, so they may be in some ways on completely 2 different wave lengths.

also, it sounds like a love marriage, and though i dont have a problem with 2 people who love each other getting married, i will say and advice to please think this through (if that's possible when you're in love) as your feelings for one another may blind you from the reality of what it may be like living with one another. So in other words, you may be biting off more than you can chew...
 
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May Allah keep their marriage if they do end up marrying each other. we can only pray.