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Thread: unwed mother
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pipay

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I have a friend, she's an unwed christian. She got pregnant by a muslim boyfriend. Her boyfriend wants the baby to be aborted, is it haraam? Should the baby be a muslim or a christian? Can somebody give advice to my friend?
 
Hello and Welcome

Her boyfriend wanting the baby to be aborted is absolutely selfish and his way of getting out of what he has done. Tell him to be a man and face up to his responsibilities and mistakes, he is probably scared of what his parents would say at what he has done?
 
Hi.

Abortion isnt allowed under such a situation, and the child should be muslim.

Maybe you can advise the mother to come on this forum and the female member sisters can help her and give her advice?
 
In the name of Allah , the Most Gracious , Ever Merciful

Salaam/ Peace

pipay said:
... Her boyfriend wants the baby to be aborted, is it haraam? Should the baby be a muslim or a christian? Can somebody give advice to my friend?
Click to expand...


May God guide them , Ameen. They committed a major sin ---had close physical relationship before marriage . Now they want to do another sin ....kill the baby .

I think , they should get married right now . Baby is supposed to be raised as Muslim.
 
Abortion is absolutely haram in Islam...I can't believe he would ask her to do that.

Them having a relationship is haram in the first place, he is just trying to take the "easy" way out.

InshAllah the women will not go through with it.
 
hi. i'm pipay's friend. she allowed me to use her account so that i can understand everything well (hope it's allowed).

Actually, I went on vacation last december to my country but before that, my boyfriend forced me to have sex with him for his security. He's thinking that I will no longer be back. After my vacation, I came to know that I'm pregnant and he refuse to admit the truth. One night, he ask me to marry him, then I said yes. Suddenly he told me that he is already married and his family will not allow him to marry to a foreign country. I told him to end the relationship but until now, he doesn't want to let me go.

One day, he told me to abort the baby and I said no. I cannot let myself commit another sin and mistake in my life. I cannot correct a mistake with another mistake. This is life, this is human, I cannot kill my own baby. Sometimes, he's telling me that one day he may be lost, gone back to pakistan because of my decision to let the baby live. I'm afraid to lose him because practically I need his support for our baby.

Please advise me. Do he need to ask permission from his wife and family to marry me? What if she didn't agree? Is there any cases of "secret" second marriage? What if the first wife came to know that his husband has a second wife? Would that be void? If marrying is not possible, should my baby be a muslim or a christian?
 
Well abortion is haaram,so to avoid doing any major sins the Christian girl will have to convert to Islam and marry.
 
Everything your boyfriend has done up until now and is still doing is absolutely wrong.
For one as u said, he is married and has had a relationship with u while he is married and NOT married to you. Third, he wants you to abort the child. It's absolutely haram what he has done and aborting the child as well.

Honestly he just seems like he's playing with your emotions and trying to take the easy way out. It's not worth staying with him and to commit another sin and kill your baby. I can't imagine how his wife would feel and I think you should marry and I'm hoping you do accept Islam inshaAllah, that on your own accord. If you have any other questions pleaseee ask, we'll help.
 
Its not her boyfriend ,it's her friends boyfriend and the friend itself.
 
This so called Muslim man in Question makes me sick...!

No offence but he really sounds insane.
 
Its how life is planned,it's his life and he's risking himself into hell and all we can do is to warn this sister to tell him and hope for the best.
 
the boyfriend should take responsibility



may Allah guide him Ameen
 
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Shhh no swearing,that could get you an infraction......
 
you can abort as long the pregnancy is not past a certain time.
the time differs according to whom you ask, generally it would be around/after the 4th month, I'm not sure.
before that, the fetus is taken to be not a human life, ie. no spirit, just flesh.
either case, I don't think you should do it, a potential life is a precious thing, it should be nurtured, not aborted.
 
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The basic principle is that it is not permissible to abort a woman’s pregnancy at any stage except for a legitimate shar’i reason. If the pregnancy is still a nutfah (drop), i.e., forty days or less, and if aborting it will serve a shar’i interest or ward off some harm that may affect the mother, it is permissible to abort it in this case.
BUT . IF SHE HAS THE kid he/she belongs to his mother, and should not be named after his/her father. This is the ruling concerning the illegitimate child: he/she should not be named after his/her father because he was conceived in fornication, not in wedlock. It is obligatory to take care of this child and bring him up with Islamic manners and morals.
the illegitimate child has nothing to do with his parents’ crime, and that he has all the same rights as any other Muslim, male or female. He must also fear Allaah so that he may become one of the people of Paradise with whom Allaah is pleased.
http://islamqa.com/en/search/illegitimate child/AllWords/t,q,a
 
brother, the child could be named after the father, if the father is known, regardless of wedlock or not.
nowadays there are many ways to prove fatherhood, it is up to her though. see, he has to take care of the child under law, and if he proves this is not his child, the mother will take all the burden or raising it.
thus in this case it is up to her to name him, although in their society I'd say the name doesn't matter that much.
 
pipay said:
I have a friend, she's an unwed christian. She got pregnant by a muslim boyfriend. Her boyfriend wants the baby to be aborted, is it haraam? Should the baby be a muslim or a christian? Can somebody give advice to my friend?
Click to expand...

Hi, well first and formal the baby is not his Islamically due to the fact that the child is illegitimate he is his mother's child only, and abortion is nott haraam before the fetus is noticeably human and Allah Azza Wa Jaal knows best.