Visiting my parents

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Amanda

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Assalamu alaikum,

I've been Muslim for a year now, but I'm still learning and hope that people here can help me a bit.

I live in Indonesia with my husband, and we are planning a trip to Canada for him to meet my parents for the first time. The one thing that is causing us some stress is the fact that my parents have a large dog. I've tried researching this, but there are just so many different 'rulings' out there and I don't know what to believe.

We don't have enough money to stay in a hotel for the three weeks we would be in Canada, and my parents would be really hurt if we did that. They understand that we are Muslim, and that my husband is very uncomfortable around dogs since he grew up thinking of them as dirty. But, it is not possible for them to make the dog stay outside for three weeks, or to send it away. The dog doesn't lick people, but of course he will want to smell us, and will seek attention from us. How do I explain this to my husband, and what advice should I give him to deal with it? I've read differing opinions, from it's okay as long as you don't touch the saliva, to you just have to wash your hands, to you have to make wudhu after touching the dog and/or saliva, to our prayers won't be accepted if we pray in a house where a dog lives. Let me also add that my parents live in a *very* small town, and the nearest mosque would be about 2 hours away so it isn't going to be possible for us to just pray in the mosque.

Please help me! But I don't need anyone to post saying Muslims can't have dogs, or we just can't touch them, etc (I already am aware of that). I just need help dealing with the situation please, since it's not in my power to change it. Thanks.
 
Although it sounds very stupid, but if you could postpond your plan to go Canada right now and wait sometime to save some money to stay in a hotel. If you will convey your parents that your husband do not feel confortable with dogs, they may feel irritating. Think this in a large perception that you may give them dawa (advise them to accept Islam) if you meet them in a friendly way.
 
I would of asked if sticking the dog outside for the time being was possible but, I just realized you said Canada lol. Hm what about keeping the dog in an area of the house away from you guys? I remember when I was younger I went to a friends house that had a big dog and they had this little fence thing that blocked him from leaving the hallway. It was just big enough for him to not pass through but small enough to not get in the way. Or maybe have the neighbors or family friends watch the dog for the time being?

Not great advice, I know. Insha'Allah someone here will be able to better help you.
 
Amanda said:
Assalamu alaikum,

I've been Muslim for a year now, but I'm still learning and hope that people here can help me a bit.

I live in Indonesia with my husband, and we are planning a trip to Canada for him to meet my parents for the first time. The one thing that is causing us some stress is the fact that my parents have a large dog. I've tried researching this, but there are just so many different 'rulings' out there and I don't know what to believe.

We don't have enough money to stay in a hotel for the three weeks we would be in Canada, and my parents would be really hurt if we did that. They understand that we are Muslim, and that my husband is very uncomfortable around dogs since he grew up thinking of them as dirty. But, it is not possible for them to make the dog stay outside for three weeks, or to send it away. The dog doesn't lick people, but of course he will want to smell us, and will seek attention from us. How do I explain this to my husband, and what advice should I give him to deal with it? I've read differing opinions, from it's okay as long as you don't touch the saliva, to you just have to wash your hands, to you have to make wudhu after touching the dog and/or saliva, to our prayers won't be accepted if we pray in a house where a dog lives. Let me also add that my parents live in a *very* small town, and the nearest mosque would be about 2 hours away so it isn't going to be possible for us to just pray in the mosque.

Please help me! But I don't need anyone to post saying Muslims can't have dogs, or we just can't touch them, etc (I already am aware of that). I just need help dealing with the situation please, since it's not in my power to change it. Thanks.
Click to expand...

I feel for you. My wife hates dogs......and monkeys? Apparently there is a lot of monkeys in India.

I don't think this helped:hmm:

Can the dog be put in a kennel?

All I can say is......watch out for the monkeys

God be with you.
 
:salamext:

I think the best way is for you to keep the dog from going near to him...and for the other things i think he has to learn to live with it...lol. I think is time for him to be open minded and accept other peoples way. Just make sure the soil and water is ready for him or you can probably buy the taharah soap.

i think he'll probably is scared of the dog too...
 
:sl:

My personal advice it to you tell your mother that just keep the dogs in a place in house or in a room/place where both you and your husband can not interact with dog.

One thing more dog is also the creature of Allah and we donot have to hate the dogs and if your mother have a dog take care of its needs , just try to choose a seperate place.

Please correct me if i am wrong in my advice.
 
i dont see why they cant send the dog away for three weeks??

in all honesty, and please dont be offended, but i wouldnt stay 10 minutes in a house in which a dog resides unless he is kept at a distance at all times
 
As I said, staying in a hotel or sending the dog away is not an option. Also, I haven't seen my parents in two years and they have never met my husband, so I'm really not willing to put it off for another year to save money for a hotel. Obviously the dog wouldn't be allowed in our room, but it's hard to keep a large (100 lbs) dog in just a small area of a small house, so I'm sure at some point my husband will come into contact with it. And yes, Syilla, he is a bit afraid of the dog, which doesn't help the situation.

IbnAbdulHakim, I'm not offended, but I am curious... what would you do in this situation though... would you never visit your wife's family, and make her travel half way around the world by herself, just over a dog? Remember that money is difficult, and unfortunately sending it away or staying in a hotel is not possible. And my parents are a bit older, making a trip like this (almost 2 days by plane) very difficult for them. Like I said, I'm not offended or trying to argue, I am just genuinely curious. :)
 
:wa: Amanda,

It sounds like a tricky situation. The main issue that stands out for me is what you mentioned about purity. The first thing is understanding the rulings surrounding this, and perhaps you can ask a scholar that you trust to explain the ruling about touching dogs, and maybe he can even advise you about your situation.

If the only part of the dog that is impure is its saliva (or touching the dog when it is wet), that would be easier to avoid. Generally, I guess your husband would have to try his best to keep away from it, and if it came too close, perhaps he can put a covering over his clothes to stop them becoming impure... just an idea.

If it becomes a big problem, your husband can spend more time in an area of the house where the dog might not go like bedrooms, or the two of you can go out a bit more, or maybe the dog will even learn itself that your husband doesn't like it and might leave when asked!

Just thought I'd mention a few ideas... hopefully I said something that helped. May Allaah (swt) make it easy for both of you, Aameen.
 
Wa alaikum asalaam.

This is from the Hanafi perspective:

In the Hanafi school, the dog is not essentially filthy (najis al-`ayn), unlike pigs. [Haskafi, al-Durr al-Mukhtar]

As such, if one’s clothes come into contact with a wet dog’s body, no filth will be considered to have transferred to one.
However, the saliva of dogs is filthy because the ruling of saliva follows the ruling related to the flesh of the given animal. [ibid. and al-Fatawaa l-Hindiyya, quoting Nasafi’s Kanz]



As such, if a dog licks one’s clothes, the area licked would need to be washed three times or under flowing water, like other filth.
It would be recommended to wash it seven times, one of them with water admixed with soil, to follow the outward purport of the instruction of the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace), and to avoid the difference of opinion of the Shafiis and Hanbalis (Allah be well pleased with their scholars, and benefit us from the baraka of all the inheritors of the Prophet’s way). [Buhuti,Kashshaf al-Qina`; Nawawi, Minhaj al-Talibin] [The Hanafi imams understood the Prophet’s command to be for emphasis and recommendation, not obligation.]

Source: Sunnipath

And this is from the Shafi'i perspective:

It is obvious that acquiring a dog without need is haram and it prevents the angels of mercy from entering the place that they are in. Likewise, acquiring pictures of things that could have souls, such as pictures of humans and animals is haram, and it also prevents those angels from entering, as we said.

However, their presence does not affect the validity of the prayer, so whoever prays in a place that has a dog or pictures, his prayer is valid and he does not need to repeat it. It seems that a room that does not have pictures or a dog would be entered by the angels of mercy, because it does not contain anything prohibited in it, and Allah knows best.

[s. If the moisture from a dog (or dry dog hair) affects one�s person, clothes or place of prayer, one�s prayer would be invalid, until he purified them, see Reliance of the Traveller, e14.1(14), e14.7 and f4.0.]

Source: Sunnipath

Hope that helps.

Nur-ud-Dean
 
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Thanks! That is really helpful... just one question, and maybe it's a stupid one... is washing clothes in the washing machine with hot water enough to clean them if they come into contact with dog saliva?
 
^^^ I think it is suppose to be rinsed with running water. Is not has to be hot water. If you can be sure that your washing machine rinsed in a running water than it is ok. (or rinse more than two times).

But to be in the safe side, why don't you wash it by hands... i'm sure it is not that many clothes that came into contact.
 

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