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Thread: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??!
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BooBear

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Okay so, I have an older sister she's 21 years old. She doesn't do her salah, she doesn't listen to me. And she's going on the wrong path. She staro to wear shorts and talk very rudely to my parents. I always see her yelling or screaming in front of my parents face. It's so sad. She doesn't alot of bad things. Please help?
 
She must be having bad friends and surroundings. Some people very easily fall prey to bad behaviour, their company is like a magnet.

Your parents must set some rules in the house and although she's already 21 its never too late.
 
Not easy to set the rules..

Not much can be done in this day and age. . .sad to say.

At least, there was something you see and learn. Hopefully you won't be the same to your parents .


eace:
 
It is difficult yes, but perhaps communicating with her and coming to some compromise will help. It takes a while to change, so it will not happen overnight.
 
Umm Abed said:
She must be having bad friends and surroundings. Some people very easily fall prey to bad behaviour, their company is like a magnet.

Your parents must set some rules in the house and although she's already 21 its never too late.
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She doesn't have any friends.
 
Umm Abed said:
What about ruqya?

Do you think she should get it done?
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I don't think she'll do it. She never listens. But is there a dua that I can put in a glass of water and give it to her without her knowing it??
 
have you spoken to her openly?

What did she say?

Did you show her that you love her?
 
IbnAbdulHakim said:
have you spoken to her openly?

What did she say?

Did you show her that you love her?
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Even though I try to talk to her she hates me. I don't know of why she hates me. I don't say anything back to her. I'm always quiet when she talks to me in a rude way. It hurts alot I love her and I want what's best for her. But when I look into her eyes she has no emotion. It's like she's a robot. She doesn't care how I feel. She has no link with Allah I can tell. Shes exposing her body. She never used to do that. It's like she's becoming worse everyday. Then she starts thinking about changing her body. Why would you want to change what Allah has created you? She's not thankful. She hates her body and she doesn't care about salah anymore. Shes rude to her family. She swears. I don't know who she is anymore.
 
I think you can show your love and concern to your parents, when your sister has yelled to them. It also shows better way to behave to your sister. She is your older sister but anyways, you can be a role model to her in this case.
 
:sl:

Well if I were you, I'd get her to sit down with you and chat to her about the following - As a Muslim you must remind her that what she is doing is wrong.

Whenever you see her shouting and screaming at your parents, step in and tell her to lower her tone. Just reading that makes me really angry. Tell her to lower her voice immediately and remind her that these are the people who made her. Without them she wouldn't be here.

Such acts must be condemned at once and are considered huge sins:

Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Shall I inform you of the biggest of the great sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Apostle!" He said, "To join partners in worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents. "
[Sahih al-Bukhari 6273]

However while you're at it, remind her to change her ways because it will be better for her and ask her to seek forgiveness from Allah SWT as Allah SWT is the Most Merciful. Tell her to apologise to your parents at once.

It is reported on the authority of 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah observed:
The best of' the deeds or deed is the (observance of) prayer at its proper time and kindness to the parents.
[Sahih Muslim 85]

وَاسْتَغْفِرِ اللَّهَ ۖ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا
"And seek forgiveness of Allah . Indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful."
[Surah An-Nisa Verse 104]

With regards to Salah, again you need to sit down with her and talk to her about the important of Salah. It literally differentiates us between the kuffar:

It was narrated that Jabir bin ‘Abdullah said:
“The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘Between a person and Kufr (disbelief) is abandoning the prayer.’”
[Sunan Ibn Majah - Grade: Sahih (Darussalam)]

If she is persistent in not reading salah then the least you can do is continue to remind her that these duties are obligatory on her and that if she doesn't perform them, then she is doing something woeful.

If you haven't picked up the point I'm trying to get across then I'll say it clearly. Remind her! Remind her that such things are haram and some of the things she's doing are considered major sins in Islam. Remind her that she must change her ways and repent. What happens from there is her choice.

May Allah SWT guide her back to the straight path, Ameen.
 
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I think she is just going through a stage in her life where she is confused about who she is and how others perceive her. Does she use social media a lot? She must have friends at school. Do you think there is a possibility she has a boyfriend? Or she likes someone? It seems like she is not opening up and is blocking in all her feelings. That's why she is reacting in such a way.