What should I do?

[anonymous]

all

I have a situation.

When my parent passed away, they left us with a house. The house is currently under our name(our as in me and my siblings) therefore if one of us decides to sell it, a signature will be required from the both of us.

My other sibling and my in law had been trying to talk me out into signing the documents for many years after our parent passed away but I refused to.

They weren't too happy about it thus resulting us getting into fights many times.

I feel very pressured by the fights that I decide to leave home...none of my relatives had been very helpful. Everyone think I'm the culprit.

Its not about being greedy, I won't even mind if there come a day that they are able to sell the house without my consent and leave me with nothing. My only reason to keep the house is, should anything happen at least there is a little back up or a place to stay in the future you know...but now that Ive left I was saving it for my sibling..

I don't know my in law very well. I don't even know what his last name is since I wasn't officially introduced to them...The only time my in law has ever spoken to me nicely is when he wanted my signature. If it hadn't been for the house I can assure you that he take no interest or want to make any contact with me whatsoever unless if they needed something...

Long story short, recently I have heard that my sibling is looking for me and had wanted me to come and see them but I hesitated...Ive gone through this many times before...I'm afraid if I see them again things will get ugly for the umpteenth time...

There are times where I would like to believe that my sibling love me for who I am but its difficult to believe that when Ive actually gone through a lot...

What should I do?

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam
speak to a shiekh.

 

[Raaina]

And maybe a lawyer

 

[Ramadhan]

This is a very difficult situation.

Your sibling has a right over the inheritance and this right must not be denied or delayed if asked, and in Islam the issue of inheritance is regulated very clearly and there is no ambiguity.
On the other hand, I understand about your concerns over the future well being of your sibling especially having the in law that you cannot trust.

is there other older relative who is wise and who you can trust and ask for advice?

 

[Snowflake]

As naidamar said, you cannot hold your siblings share of inheritance. Was the will written according to rights of inheritance according to the Shariah? If so the shares will differ for male and female inheritors. If the inheritance isn't set out according to islamic law, then the shares will be against how Allah commanded. As suggested before, please consult a shaykh before you sign over anything. If the will isn't according to Islamic Law then perhaps the shaykh has the right to amend it. Also it isn't wise to be so sentimental and give your own inheritence away. If you have children then they have rights over it too.


:wa:

 

[Insaanah]

Assalaamu alaikum,

If you think your sibling is going to come and ask for his/her share of the house (in money), i.e. you think he/she's going to want you to sign so that the house can be sold, you need somebody to overlook this for you, such as a knowledgable scholar or imaam. Also to make sure (if you suspect it) that none of your relatives try to pull a fast one on you after the house is sold.

Your sibling does have a right to his/her share. I can understand your point about wanting a little place as a little back up or place to stay in the future. If your sibling is a girl, would your share of the house in money be enough to buy a little flat like a one bedroom or something, as a back up?

Incidentally, why is your in law wanting your signature? Because the house is nothing to do with him (unless he was named as an executor in your parents will). Or did your sibling approach him to pressure you?

Whatever you do, as others have suggested, get someone senior and knowledgable involved first. Is it possible to go to your local mosque and ask if they have an imaam or scholar, or can put you in touch with someone?

May Allah help you through this and give you strength. Ameen.

Assalaamu alaikum

 

[Grofica]

simple buy him out of the house.... (well talk to a lawyer and get papers drawn up.) you have the house appraised (which would be a great time to do it before the house market goes back up)

(example) it appraises for 80,000 then his half would be 40,000 just buy him out. then the house is all yours and you dont have to worry about it. plus NO one in their right mind would try and sell a house in this market. sorry thats just bad.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

all

I have a situation.

When my parent passed away, they left us with a house. The house is currently under our name(our as in me and my siblings) therefore if one of us decides to sell it, a signature will be required from the both of us.

My other sibling and my in law had been trying to talk me out into signing the documents for many years after our parent passed away but I refused to.

They weren't too happy about it thus resulting us getting into fights many times.

I feel very pressured by the fights that I decide to leave home...none of my relatives had been very helpful. Everyone think I'm the culprit.

Its not about being greedy, I won't even mind if there come a day that they are able to sell the house without my consent and leave me with nothing. My only reason to keep the house is, should anything happen at least there is a little back up or a place to stay in the future you know...but now that Ive left I was saving it for my sibling..

I don't know my in law very well. I don't even know what his last name is since I wasn't officially introduced to them...The only time my in law has ever spoken to me nicely is when he wanted my signature. If it hadn't been for the house I can assure you that he take no interest or want to make any contact with me whatsoever unless if they needed something...

Long story short, recently I have heard that my sibling is looking for me and had wanted me to come and see them but I hesitated...Ive gone through this many times before...I'm afraid if I see them again things will get ugly for the umpteenth time...

There are times where I would like to believe that my sibling love me for who I am but its difficult to believe that when Ive actually gone through a lot...

What should I do?

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, Islam tells us that we should maintain good relations with our siblings and that we should keep the ties of kinship strong.

"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain the bonds of kinship" [Bukhari]

The young man went to attend the weekly hadith lecture of Sayyidna Abu Huraira, Radi-Allahu anhu but the routine opening announcement stopped him. “If anyone sitting here has severed any ties of kinship (qata-ur-rahim), he should leave.” He recalled that an aunt lived in the town with whom he had not been on speaking terms. The young man quietly left the gathering and went straight to his aunt’s home. He asked for forgiveness for his past behavior and sought rapprochement. When the aunt inquired about the reason for this change of heart, he narrated the entire incident. She accepted the apology but asked him to inquire from Abu Huraira, Radi-Allahu anhu, the reason for this unusual announcement. Why did he leave all the other major sins and focus only on this? What was so special about ties of kinship? Sayyidna Abu Huraira replied that he had heard from the Prophet that our deeds are presented to Allah every Thursday night and anyone who has severed family ties has all his good deeds rejected. He did not want any such person sitting in his gathering, which was held on the same night, for fear that it could deprive the entire gathering of blessings. Another hadith explains further the reason for this fear: “Allah’s mercy will not descend on people among whom there is one who severs ties of kinship.” [Baihaqi, Shuab Al-Iman]

Maintaining the bonds of kinship (silatur-rahim) indeed enjoys extraordinary importance in Islam. Conversely, severing the ties (qata-ur-rahim), is very high on the list of enormities. At two places in the Qur’an, Allah has cursed the one severing family ties.

“And those who break the covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e. they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives) and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse, and for them is the unhappy home (i.e. Hell)” [Ar-Rad 13:25. See also Muhammad, 47:22-23].

A cursed person is one who is deprived of the mercy of Allah. It is an indication of this deprivation that this sin is punished in this world as well as in the Hereafter. “There is no sin more deserving of having punishment meted out by Allah to its perpetrator in advance in this world along with what He stores up for him in the next world than oppression and severing ties of family.” [Tirmidhi].

Another hadith highlights the high stakes involved here in a compelling way: “Rahim (family ties) is a word derived from Ar-Rahman (The Compassionate One) And Allah says: ‘I shall keep connection with him who maintains you and sever connection with him who severs you.’” [Bukhari]

However you should not mix with non mahrams. So try and stregnthen the ties and bond betwen you and your siblings for the pleasure of Allah. In regards to the situation with the house then i would urge you to go to an experienced and reliable scholar immediatley as he would advise you best on this situation inshallah.

If you need any hep or want to share anything else at all then please don't hesitate as we are here for you. Remember us in your dua's.

and Allah knows best

 

[syilla]

sometimes...they don't really understand why we do not want to sell properties or land the parents have put trust on us. Is not about the value of the properties...and far from money. Because when they sell it...the money will be gone so thus the properties or land. And if we keep it, the land or house will be there for our future children to use...

But remember in islam, the relationship between muslims always come first...especially in the families. And sometimes we have to give in...especially if majority is not at our side.

So, just give in... and be nice to them. InshaAllah one day they will understand what you're standing for. Maybe it is too late...but at least they will appreciate what you have been trying to keep.