AnonymousPoster
Anonymous
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A friend of mine iv known since primary school is in a very bad state. she has not been brought up in a practising house hold, more on the middle path. The ways she talks to me is worrying, she says things like, Allah has given everything to everyone else, and He hates me and is making me suffer. She has been diagnosed with chronic depression and she has suffered most of her life.
She thinks she is suffering because her dad is not on talking terms with her. They haven’t spoken for 8 years. He stopped talking to her because she ran away from home a few times (not with a guy… she felt trapped and depressed because of the way her dad is).
I need to know who’s in the wrong here, maybe both are but whose fault is it and is it the daughter’s responsibility to apologize to her father?
Father’s faults….
He’s always been violent towards my friends mum and the kids, violent for know reason, it was always over something really st*pid like he can’t find his socks or he’s not happy with the way his wife cooked the food. He used to start on the kids if they wanted something formt he shop, if they made too much noise while playing in the garden, he would start beating them.
He used to come home drunk at times, was never practicing, always found an excuse to beat the wife and kids. Loves to humiliate his own family in front of others. I used to be petrified of her dad whenever I went to her house, he used to have that look, that serial killer look, and I was always so relieved to leave the house and go home to my own dad, who Alhumdullilah is world away from my friend’s father. I used to feel sorry for the family when ever I left them behind and went home. I always wondered, would he hit them as soon as I left.
Daughters faults
In school days I remember my friend called social services and said her dad beat her up, but he didn’t at the time, she was just depressed and wanted to leave the house and have her own life away from them. That’s when her dad got worse with her and hated her for doing that. She decided to go home in the end and admitted to social services that she lied. She felt too sorry seeing her mum cry and begging her to come home. So she gave in. After that she tried running away again…. A few times, she wanted to go out and about like a normal teenager but always feeling restricted by her father. She liked boys n stuff at school and I think that made her want to leave home more, she wanted the freedom to do what she wants.
She started seeing someone in her late teens and her dad found out, he kicked her out of the house. Worst thing is, he found out who it was and it turned out to be someone whos family the father knows and that was more disgraceful for him.
She’s been living here and there ever since, now with a cousin sister of hers, but now she’s in her early thirties and her life is still a mess. No one wants to marry her, she has fixed up a lot and is practicing mashallah as best as she can but she’;s not perfect like evrryone else.
She si worried that she will never be happy unless she apologises to her father, but he is too violent and she doesn’t want to go near him, not even on the phone because she is scared he will take it out on her mother and beat her. Her father is crazy, he used to tell her family that he will kill them all one day and that he will leave the family, but not without ruining them first.
She keeps asking if she can stay at mine but my family want allow a stranger to live in our house. I feel so bad for her.
Who is to blame for all this? and do yout hink things can get better for her if she carrys on repenting but doesn’t apologise to her father?
She thinks she is suffering because her dad is not on talking terms with her. They haven’t spoken for 8 years. He stopped talking to her because she ran away from home a few times (not with a guy… she felt trapped and depressed because of the way her dad is).
I need to know who’s in the wrong here, maybe both are but whose fault is it and is it the daughter’s responsibility to apologize to her father?
Father’s faults….
He’s always been violent towards my friends mum and the kids, violent for know reason, it was always over something really st*pid like he can’t find his socks or he’s not happy with the way his wife cooked the food. He used to start on the kids if they wanted something formt he shop, if they made too much noise while playing in the garden, he would start beating them.
He used to come home drunk at times, was never practicing, always found an excuse to beat the wife and kids. Loves to humiliate his own family in front of others. I used to be petrified of her dad whenever I went to her house, he used to have that look, that serial killer look, and I was always so relieved to leave the house and go home to my own dad, who Alhumdullilah is world away from my friend’s father. I used to feel sorry for the family when ever I left them behind and went home. I always wondered, would he hit them as soon as I left.
Daughters faults
In school days I remember my friend called social services and said her dad beat her up, but he didn’t at the time, she was just depressed and wanted to leave the house and have her own life away from them. That’s when her dad got worse with her and hated her for doing that. She decided to go home in the end and admitted to social services that she lied. She felt too sorry seeing her mum cry and begging her to come home. So she gave in. After that she tried running away again…. A few times, she wanted to go out and about like a normal teenager but always feeling restricted by her father. She liked boys n stuff at school and I think that made her want to leave home more, she wanted the freedom to do what she wants.
She started seeing someone in her late teens and her dad found out, he kicked her out of the house. Worst thing is, he found out who it was and it turned out to be someone whos family the father knows and that was more disgraceful for him.
She’s been living here and there ever since, now with a cousin sister of hers, but now she’s in her early thirties and her life is still a mess. No one wants to marry her, she has fixed up a lot and is practicing mashallah as best as she can but she’;s not perfect like evrryone else.
She si worried that she will never be happy unless she apologises to her father, but he is too violent and she doesn’t want to go near him, not even on the phone because she is scared he will take it out on her mother and beat her. Her father is crazy, he used to tell her family that he will kill them all one day and that he will leave the family, but not without ruining them first.
She keeps asking if she can stay at mine but my family want allow a stranger to live in our house. I feel so bad for her.
Who is to blame for all this? and do yout hink things can get better for her if she carrys on repenting but doesn’t apologise to her father?
