Why can't women attend funerals?

[Aprender]

I was looking over some Islamic books for a paper I'm writing for finals and one of the books had a sentence saying that Muslim women can't attend funerals.

There was no more in the book that elaborated on that which is why I am here. Why is that? I understand that some women cry and break down at funerals but men are just as capable of doing that too.

It makes no sense to me. Help me understand because I currently see absolutley no justification for this.

 

[Woodrow]

It is not forbidden for women to attend funerals. But in some cultures it is discouraged. Particularly in the Arabic nations as in pre Islamic times it was customary for the wealthy Arabs to hire female mourners to wail loudly at the funeral of a loved one. In discouraging this practice some went to the extreme by not allowing women at funerals. But this is cultural and not Islamic.

 

[Beardo]

It is not forbidden for women to attend funerals. But in some cultures it is discouraged. Particularly in the Arabic nations as in pre Islamic times it was customary for the wealthy Arabs to hire female mourners to wail loudly at the funeral of a loved one. In discouraging this practice some went to the extreme by not allowing women at funerals. But this is cultural and not Islamic.

I'm assuming you're talking about the the actual funeral - not the burial process, right?

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

I was looking over some Islamic books for a paper I'm writing for finals and one of the books had a sentence saying that Muslim women can't attend funerals.

There was no more in the book that elaborated on that which is why I am here. Why is that? I understand that some women cry and break down at funerals but men are just as capable of doing that too.

It makes no sense to me. Help me understand because I currently see absolutley no justification for this.

Thank you for your question sister. A woman may wash the dead, and pray over the dead but may not go to the burial at the time of the burial but is free to visit the grave anytime after the burial so the answer to your question is that she may visit the grave as long as proper Islamic ettiquette regarding visiting the graves is fulfilled like wearing hijaab and dressing modestly, not intermingling with non mahram men and not mourning or crying so loudly so as to bring attention upon oneself aswell as not partaking in any bida ( innovative practices). As long as these are observed then a women may visit the grave anytime she wants.

And Allah knows best in all matters

 

[Aprender]

Thanks for answering brothers.

Woodrow, I thought it might be cultural at first too.

So can any of you explain to me where did this come from? The Qur'an or Sunnah? I've read the Qu'ran and I'm in the process of reading it now for a second time but I didn't quite see any verses in it pertaining to this exactly unless I missed it.

 

[Woodrow]

Thanks for answering brothers.

Woodrow, I thought it might be cultural at first too.

So can any of you explain to me where did this come from? The Qur'an or Sunnah? I've read the Qu'ran and I'm in the process of reading it now for a second time but I didn't quite see any verses in it pertaining to this exactly unless I missed it.

There is nothing in the Qur'an or ahadith that forbids women from attending a funeral. That is why you can not find it. So if somebody says women can not attend a funeral, it did not come from the Quran and therefore is probably an innovation. If somebody tells you that women are forbidden to attend funerals ask them to show proof from the Qur'an and or Ahadith.

 

[Woodrow]

I'm assuming you're talking about the the actual funeral - not the burial process, right?

Correct. I apologise for not have making that clear.

 

[YusufNoor]

There is nothing in the Qur'an or ahadith that forbids women from attending a funeral. That is why you can not find it. So if somebody says women can not attend a funeral, it did not come from the Quran and therefore is probably an innovation. If somebody tells you that women are forbidden to attend funerals ask them to show proof from the Qur'an and or Ahadith.

i dislike it when i have to speak without source [it WAS Mufti Ismail Menk, but i can't remember which lecture] or proper terms, but here it is:

woman are NOT forbidden BUT are HIGHLY, HIGHLY cautioned, which perhaps leads some to forbid, from lingering around cemeteries. we have those [lacks terms] angels and jinn that seek to lead us in their respective directions. when you die, the angels then do what Allah has made their assignment. the jinn however, do whatever they want. many believe that they linger around cemeteries. women, having a greater emotional composition than men, are more susceptible to being influenced by them, especially around the time of their period. therefore, women should keep time at a graveyard to a minimum, but aren't forbidden.

and Allah knows best!

:wa:

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Thanks for answering brothers.

Woodrow, I thought it might be cultural at first too.

So can any of you explain to me where did this come from? The Qur'an or Sunnah? I've read the Qu'ran and I'm in the process of reading it now for a second time but I didn't quite see any verses in it pertaining to this exactly unless I missed it.

It is not actually cultural for there are hadith forbidding women from visiting the grave and there is also a difference of opinion on this matter but it is mainly to do with the fact that the conditions for younger women visiting the graves are not often fulfilled and that is why certain scholars take the precautionary stance on this matter and dissallow younger women from visiting the graves.

According to Sheikh Ebrahim Desai:

Hadhrat ibn Mas'ood (Radhiallaahu Anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, 'I used to stop you from visiting graves, (now) visit the graves for it creates abstention (in love) for the world and reminds of the hereafter. (Mishkaat p. 154 - Qadeemi)

From the above Ahaadith, it is clear that visiting graves was prohibited for all (men and women), and thereafter the prohibition was abrogated. Therefore, it is Mustahabb (Preferrable) for males to visit graves. With regard to females, see the following Ahaadith:

Hadhrat Abu Huryara (Radhiallaahu Anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) cursed women who visit the graveyards. (Mishkaat p. 154 - Qadeemi)

Hadhrat Aaisha (Radhiallaahu Anha) said to Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) 'Oh Prophet of Allah what should I say when visiting the graves', Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said,

'Assalaamu Alaa ahlud diyaar minal mu'mineena wal muslimeena wayarhamu Allaahu al-mustaqdimeena minnaa wal must'akhireena, wa innaa inshaa'a Allaahu bikum lalaahiqoona

While Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) taught Hadhrat Aaisha (Radhiallaahu Anha) the Du'a when visiting the graves, he also cursed females from doing so.

The reason for prohibiting females from visiting graves is due to our corrupted environment wherein women who do not adhere to the laws of Hijaab and hence strange men are attracted towards them. Therefore, it is not permissible for young females to visit the graveyard.

However, if the laws of the Shariah (Hijaab, intermingling, crying, etc.) are not violated then the prohibition may be set aside. Since generally the women visiting the graves are not free from the above aspects, they should refrain from doing so.

If a female visits the grave to remember death and soften without crying . There is nothing wrong if they are old. It is Makrooh (not permissible) if they are young (Shaami vol. 1 p. 665 - Maajidiyya)

Source: http://www.islam.tc/cgi-bin/askimam/ask.pl?q=110&act=view


So if a younger women wants to visit the graveyard then she has to be VERY careful indeed to ensure the following conditions are met and fulfilled:

1. That she wears proper Hijaab and modest clothing preferably loose outer garment (Jilbaab)

2. That she does not intermingle with non mahram men

3. That she does not wail, mourn or cry so loudly and uncontrollably so as to bring attention upon herself. (I myself have seen this many a times)

If these conditions are fulfilled then there is no prohibition on any women from visiting the graves but because a lot of the times these conditions are not met many scholars say it is best if younger women do not visit graves.

And Allah knows best in all matters