Why does ALlah have to be very taugh with us?

[Nitro Zeus]

Assalamu alaikum,

I found out just now that it is disbelief to disobey your parents. And I sometimes disobey them without knowing that it is disbelief and while I thought I am still a Muslim.

Why does Allah have to make such law? It is really scary. I mean, anyone can disobey their parents, I could disobey and sometimes I disobey them.

My mom is asking me something very hard to do which is to obey also my grandma, who is a devil, and I really hate to obey my grandma.

I am very weak that I could easily commit disbelief without knowing and all my work would be in vane like this. Allah could simply Make this law not be scary, I mean, He could Make that it is just a major forgivable sin but not unforgivable.

The Prophet said that the greatest sins in Islam is shirk and disobeying parents so disobeying parents is disbelief. I dont understand why does Allah have To be like this(taugh) this really makes me to hate my life.

But of course, I dont mean to blame Allah for that, but I am just surprized to see this and I dont understand why like this.

And my mom asks me to stop using internet and to enter in Islamic sites. Well if I stop going into Islamic sites, how will I gain beneficial knowledge?? And my dad told me that he is not a disbeliever for me to not trust him. He just give me misguidance, like he said once that music is halal and there is no proof that music is haram...

So, what should I do in this case? obey or disobey?

 

['Abdullah]

Assalamu alaikum,

I found out just now that it is disbelief to disobey your parents. And I sometimes disobey them without knowing that it is disbelief and while I thought I am still a Muslim.

Why does Allah have to make such law? It is really scary. I mean, anyone can disobey their parents, I could disobey and sometimes I disobey them.

My mom is asking me something very hard to do which is to obey also my grandma, who is a devil, and I really hate to obey my grandma.

I am very weak that I could easily commit disbelief without knowing and all my work would be in vane like this. Allah could simply Make this law not be scary, I mean, He could Make that it is just a major forgivable sin but not unforgivable.

The Prophet said that the greatest sins in Islam is shirk and disobeying parents so disobeying parents is disbelief. I dont understand why does Allah have To be like this(taugh) this really makes me to hate my life.

But of course, I dont mean to blame Allah for that, but I am just surprized to see this and I dont understand why like this.

And my mom asks me to stop using internet and to enter in Islamic sites. Well if I stop going into Islamic sites, how will I gain beneficial knowledge?? And my dad told me that he is not a disbeliever for me to not trust him. He just give me misguidance, like he said once that music is halal and there is no proof that music is haram...

So, what should I do in this case? obey or disobey?

In Islam all sins can be forgiven if one repents. Whoever tells you otherwise is not from Islam. We are human beings and we make mistakes. If you disobeyed your parents simple ask for forgiveness and try to treat them nicely. However if your parents ask you to disobey Allah then you need to set your priorities right. Make it clear to them that I treat you nicely because Allah told me so and I will not obey anything which takes me away from Islam and Allah.

Allah says (what means): “But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with me others of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly…” [Quran 31:15]

Regarding music, there are very clear verses from Quran and there are several hadiths which prove Music is haram. On the other side, there is not a single verse in Quran and there is not a single hadith which proves music to be halal. May Allah guide you and your parents with proper guidance. Ameen!

 

[Nitro Zeus]

In Islam all sins can be forgiven if one repents. Whoever tells you otherwise is not from Islam. We are human beings and we make mistakes. If you disobeyed your parents simple ask for forgiveness and try to treat them nicely. However if your parents ask you to disobey Allah then you need to set your priorities right. Make it clear to them that I treat you nicely because Allah told me so and I will not obey anything which takes me away from Islam and Allah.



Regarding music, there are very clear verses from Quran and there are several hadiths which prove Music is haram. On the other side, there is not a single verse in Quran and there is not a single hadith which proves music to be halal. May Allah guide you and your parents with proper guidance. Ameen!

So you say that disobeying parents is forgivable sin and not disbelief?

 

[Ümit]

So you say that disobeying parents is forgivable sin and not disbelief?

yes it is forgivable. you will not die as a kafir if you do not obey your parents.
This however does not give you the right to disobey your parents whenever you like.
Remember you are in great dept with your parents.
They have made great sacrifices and effort to raise you like a person you are today.
Even if you cared for your parents all their lives from this moment untill they die...you will not even compensate the 9 months period in your mothers tummy.
They might not show it on the outside...but I am sure they love you very much and they do not want to see you get hurt.

So do not upset them and obey them. They might not have much knowledge about everything, but they still want the best for you. So they will give you the advise what they think is best for you. Therefore, try to follow their advise as much as possible, but if the loss is great (i.e. Islam) then try to convince them. If that is not possible, then at least try not to argue.

 

[Nitro Zeus]

yes it is forgivable. you will not die as a kafir if you do not obey your parents.
This however does not give you the right to disobey your parents whenever you like.
Remember you are in great dept with your parents.
They have made great sacrifices and effort to raise you like a person you are today.
Even if you cared for your parents all their lives from this moment untill they die...you will not even compensate the 9 months period in your mothers tummy.
They might not show it on the outside...but I am sure they love you very much and they do not want to see you get hurt.

So do not upset them and obey them. They might not have much knowledge about everything, but they still want the best for you. So they will give you the advise what they think is best for you. Therefore, try to follow their advise as much as possible, but if the loss is great (i.e. Islam) then try to convince them. If that is not possible, then at least try not to argue.

Then why did the Prophet said that greatest sins in Islam is Shirk and disobeying parents? Does that mean that disobeying parents will make you a disbeliever since it is equal to disbelief? That's what I read on Internet.

 

[keiv]

Maybe I'm not understanding. If you're parents want to take you away from Islam, why would you want to obey them in that regards? You'd rather obey your parents and disobey Allah?

 

[Ümit]

I cannot find anything that says that you are a disbeliever when you disobey your parents.

However I did find this:

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small’”
[al-Israa’ 17:23-25].

“Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents”
[an-Nisaa’ 4:36]

“And (remember) when We took a covenant from the Children of Israel, (saying): Worship none but Allah (Alone) and be dutiful and good to parents”
[al-Baqarah 2:83]

“give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination”
[Luqmaan 31:14]

“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly”
[Luqmaan 31:15]

“And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents, but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do”
[al-Ankaboot 29:8]

You of course noticed the mention of honouring parents alongside worshipping Allah alone in many verses didn't you?This indicates how important it is to obey your parents.
The Quraan orders us to obey our parents. So it is obligatory and a great sin if we don't.

In the last two verses however you can see that obligation does not apply to situations where your parents want you to worship anyone else than Allah.

 

[Nitro Zeus]

I cannot find anything that says that you are a disbeliever when you disobey your parents.

However I did find this:

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small’”
[al-Israa’ 17:23-25].

“Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents”
[an-Nisaa’ 4:36]

“And (remember) when We took a covenant from the Children of Israel, (saying): Worship none but Allah (Alone) and be dutiful and good to parents”
[al-Baqarah 2:83]

“give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination”
[Luqmaan 31:14]

“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly”
[Luqmaan 31:15]

“And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents, but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do”
[al-Ankaboot 29:8]

You of course noticed the mention of honouring parents alongside worshipping Allah alone in many verses didn't you?This indicates how important it is to obey your parents.
The Quraan orders us to obey our parents. So it is obligatory and a great sin if we don't.

In the last two verses however you can see that obligation does not apply to situations where your parents want you to worship anyone else than Allah.

So that's mean what I found was a lie?? How about this narration:

The Messenger of Allah (s) says:“Shall I inform you of the greatest sins? Associating others with Allah, being undutiful to parents, and false words.” I found it on Al Islam.org You can write on internet the greatest sins in Islam and you will find out this narration​

 

[Ümit]

No.
What you have found is NOT a lie of course.
But where in that narration you posted is written that "disobeying your parents is disbelief"?


Edit:

Sorry my friend, you were right and I was wrong:

I found this passage:

One who doesn’t deal with parents good, he may loss his Iman during the time of death. It is narrated by Imam Ahmad that a man came to the Prophet (Pbuh) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, there is a young man named as Alqama here who is dying. He was told, ‘Say Laa ilaaha ill-Allah,’ but he could not say it. He said, ‘Did he not say it during his lifetime?’ He said, ‘Of course.’ Then the Prophet (Pbuh) sent for his mother who said that she was angry with him because he used to favour his wife over her. Then the Prophet (Pbuh) gathered firewood and told his mother that he would burn her son before her very eyes. She said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, he is my son and I cannot bear to see you burning him in front of me!’ The Prophet (Pbuh) said, ‘O mother of ‘Alqamah’, the punishment of Allah is more severe and long lasting. If you want Allah to forgive him, then forgive him (yourself). By the One in Whose hand is my soul, his prayer, fasting and zakaah will not benefit him so long as you are angry with him.’ So the woman forgave her son and after some time he died after uttering the shahaadatayn (twin declaration of faith).” Abu Huraira (Ra) related that the Prophet (pbuh) said, “There are four people who will not enter Paradise as Allah decreed: a drunkard, a usurer, he who appropriates the orphan’s property without a legal cause and he who shows disrespect to one’s parents.” (Al Hakim).

If this is a saheeh hadeeth, then that means that a person can indeed become a disbeliever if he disobeys his parents!!

the link: https://www.daily-sun.com/post/278380/Punishment-for-disobeying-parents

 

[Nitro Zeus]

No.
What you have found is NOT a lie of course.
But where in that narration you posted is written that "disobeying your parents is disbelief"?


Edit:

Sorry my friend, you were right and I was wrong:

I found this passage:

One who doesn’t deal with parents good, he may loss his Iman during the time of death. It is narrated by Imam Ahmad that a man came to the Prophet (Pbuh) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, there is a young man named as Alqama here who is dying. He was told, ‘Say Laa ilaaha ill-Allah,’ but he could not say it. He said, ‘Did he not say it during his lifetime?’ He said, ‘Of course.’ Then the Prophet (Pbuh) sent for his mother who said that she was angry with him because he used to favour his wife over her. Then the Prophet (Pbuh) gathered firewood and told his mother that he would burn her son before her very eyes. She said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, he is my son and I cannot bear to see you burning him in front of me!’ The Prophet (Pbuh) said, ‘O mother of ‘Alqamah’, the punishment of Allah is more severe and long lasting. If you want Allah to forgive him, then forgive him (yourself). By the One in Whose hand is my soul, his prayer, fasting and zakaah will not benefit him so long as you are angry with him.’ So the woman forgave her son and after some time he died after uttering the shahaadatayn (twin declaration of faith).” Abu Huraira (Ra) related that the Prophet (pbuh) said, “There are four people who will not enter Paradise as Allah decreed: a drunkard, a usurer, he who appropriates the orphan’s property without a legal cause and he who shows disrespect to one’s parents.” (Al Hakim).

If this is a saheeh hadeeth, then that means that a person can indeed become a disbeliever if he disobeys his parents!!

the link: https://www.daily-sun.com/post/278380/Punishment-for-disobeying-parents

This is really scary Decree of Allah, why did Allah Decreed this?? This makes me to hate my life and the day I was born. I am very weak, this makes me hate my birthday and the fact that I was born. I am really freaked now. Now I have to live a life of fear. Why does Allah asks us to be perfect? So the only deed fo me to be capable of uttering shahada at my time of death is to obey my parents and make them not angry at me? That's the only way?

 

[Ümit]

https://www.--------------/greater-...haib-shirazi/sixth-greater-sin-aq-al-walidayn

This link also confirms that being disobedient to parents can lead to disbelief.

Thanks to you I learned something today!!

I am sorry Nitro, I didn't want to freak you out.

Just be nice to your parents and obey them as much as you can. even if you are right and they are wrong, you should do as told...as long as they want you to do something against islaam of course.

That is the best advice I can give you.

 

['Abdullah]

This is really scary Decree of Allah, why did Allah Decreed this?? This makes me to hate my life and the day I was born. I am very weak, this makes me hate my birthday and the fact that I was born. I am really freaked now. Now I have to live a life of fear. Why does Allah asks us to be perfect? So the only deed fo me to be capable of uttering shahada at my time of death is to obey my parents and make them not angry at me? That's the only way?

It is not as difficult and scary as you think. Islam tells you to be kind and respectful to your parents but if they tell you not to worship Allah then you have no obligation to obey them. Allah always comes first.

Allah also does not expect you to be perfect. We all make mistakes. If you make a mistake and disrespect your parents then simple ask for forgiveness and try not to do that again. If you still end up arguing and disrespecting them, you can ask for forgiveness again. As long as you sincerely try to be respectful to your parents, you are good. Allah knows what's in your heart.

Take it easy on yourself.

​

 

[Nitro Zeus]

It is not as difficult and scary as you think. Islam tells you to be kind and respectful to your parents but if they tell you not to worship Allah then you have no obligation to obey them. Allah always comes first.

Allah also does not expect you to be perfect. We all make mistakes. If you make a mistake and disrespect your parents then simple ask for forgiveness and try not to do that again. If you still end up arguing and disrespecting them, you can ask for forgiveness again. As long as you sincerely try to be respectful to your parents, you are good. Allah knows what's in your heart.

Take it easy on yourself.

​

So if I ask my parents forgiveness, then I will become again a Muslim without taking again shahada?

 

['Abdullah]

So if I ask my parents forgiveness, then I will become again a Muslim without taking again shahada?

You are not a non-Muslim. You did not know this hadith before. All you need is ask your parents for forgiveness and ask Allah for forgiveness and help you in understanding Islam.