Why does my Islam hurt me?

[sevgi]

I am a very social person. I love people of all kinds. I never discriminate and i love to help people. I am comfy with guys and girls. I NEVER touch guys...i do not allow them into my private sphere. regardless, most of my uni mates and most of my best frends are guys. ive always been 'one of the boys'. i love these people. not all of them are muslims...etc..

my religion tells me to keep away from free mixing. i love these people for the sake of Allah..because they are great people who remind me of Allah etc.

It hurts and pains me to tell them today that i can no longer 'mix' with them..even tho the way i 'mix' with them is so pure.

what the hell? why does islam hurt me so....?

 

[Pk_#2]

I am a very social person. I love people of all kinds. I never discriminate and i love to help people. I am comfy with guys and girls. I NEVER touch guys...i do not allow them into my private sphere. regardless, most of my uni mates and most of my best frends are guys. ive always been 'one of the boys'. i love these people. not all of them are muslims...etc..

my religion tells me to keep away from free mixing. i love these people for the sake of Allah..because they are great people who remind me of Allah etc.

It hurts and pains me to tell them today that i can no longer 'mix' with them..even tho the way i 'mix' with them is so pure.

what the hell? why does islam hurt me so....?

Aww, sorry Sevgi, please cheer up, sure enough, soon you will realise that it is for the best,

Do you happen to be the same Sevgi on ZaZu's facebook?

 

[Ansariyah]

No one is Perfect. Just do ur best. I am comin to understand everything Allah told me to abstain from, it is to benefit me. Allah is looking out for us.

Have u eva read the story of Burseesah?

 

[Umu 'Isa]

..it may be that you dislike a thing while it is good for you, and it may be that you love a thing while it is bad for you, and Allah knows, while you do not know. [2:216]

 

[Snowflake]

Islam doesn't hurt u sis. It's not being able to accept it's teaching unquestioningly that gets you down. I'm sure you know the wisdom behind the prohibitions. You just have to believe in them strongly enough to follow them without feeling as if they're punishment.

InshaAllah, make duaa to Allah to make it easy for you.

 

[~*Fatima*~]

Mashallah everyone said so well and clear.
Sis~! I understand your problem. As I'm same as you. I'm also considered very social Though I'm not in same case. All I can advise you is that you can be social among females. Find type of friends you want among female friends. Yes~ It may take some time to find 'em.
Sis~! When you leave something for Allah. Allah Giftes you something even more better. So you'll have to be bit patient... Hopefully you'll receive very good friends.

 

[noorseeker]

Why cant i have a odd glass of wine so often, it wont kill me.

Why cant i have a girlfriend, we dont have to touch each other.

Why cant i listen to music, it relaxes me.

Why cant i go clubbing,, dancing seems fun.

Im not harming any one, sister all the above will seem very trivial to non muslims, they wont see and working with non muslims, they wont understand the prohibitions set in islam,

How many of your male friends actually have a crush on you, im guessing a few,
having a platonic relationship with the opposite sex is hard,

Ive made friends , but only phone contact, but after a while you get feelings for them.


In fridays jummah khutbah, the imam said Allah swt knowledge is like the size of the ocean, and human minds are like a 2 litre bottle, the whole ocean cannot fit into a 2 litre bottle, impossible.

Our minds do not know the wisdom behind Allah swt thinking.

And seeing hajj is upon us , the imam said we should be like ishmail. as . when Ibrahim as told him about the dream, that he had to sacrifice him, he didnt look for reasons or exuses to get out of it, he whole heartly submitted to his fathers request.


We are all in the same boat sister, but in diff situations, we wish some haram was halal

cheer up sister

 

[Saimah Ali]

I'm not offending you sis, but aren't boys/men what hurt you before, jugding by your other threads? This is the reason why Allah tells us to not mix with them, because one thing leads to another. It is better to close the doors from the beginning rather than trying to force them shut when something bad happens.

 

[fouzie]

Actually, Islam doesn't hurt you. Islam want to protect you from any harm that will come later that you don't know.

Cheer up, may Allah protect you


_______________
Khalid Yasin - What Is True Success In Life
Khalid Yasin - Muhammed - The Man And His Message

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

islam doesnt harm you , your past harms you, your mentality harms you, your ideas and way of life harms you.


but ultimately you harm yourself



clearly you are in with the wrong crowd, may Allah guide you towards a more God-Fearing Crowd


and what a joke it is that you say they remind you of Allah and islam when your meetings with them were in the disobedience of Allaah.


Allah says in the Quran that he makes the evildoers acts seem fairseeming to them - so that when they are called to islaam it seems ridiculous and unnecessary - hard - like a painful tearing apart.


indeed thats what it is



im not sure what kind of answer you expected, but ISLAM does NOT hurt ANYONE....it sets people Free...



Assalamu Alaikum

 

[Saimah Ali]

and what a joke it is that you say they remind you of Allah and islam when your meetings with them were in the disobedience of Allaah.

Not really...i know what she means..but the fact the its being disobedient to Allah in the first place...is sorta weird...

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Not really...i know what she means..but the fact the its being disobedient to Allah in the first place...is sorta weird...

Allah says in the Quran that he makes the evildoers acts seem fairseeming to them

{ وَلاَ تَسُبُّواْ ٱلَّذِينَ يَدْعُونَ مِن دُونِ ٱللَّهِ فَيَسُبُّواْ ٱللَّهَ عَدْواً بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ كَذَلِكَ زَيَّنَّا لِكُلِّ أُمَّةٍ عَمَلَهُمْ ثُمَّ إِلَىٰ رَبِّهِمْ مَّرْجِعُهُمْ فَيُنَبِّئُهُمْ بِمَا كَانُواْ يَعْمَلُونَ }​

Do not revile those whom they call upon, besides God, namely, the idols, lest they then revile God out of spite, out of aggression and wrongfully, through ignorance, that is, through their ignorance of God. So, in the same way that We have adorned for these that which they practise, We have adorned for every community their, good and evil, deeds, and they commit them; then to their Lord they shall return, in the Hereafter, and He will tell them what they used to do, and requite them for it.​

 

[Saimah Ali]

^ thats referring to the idol worshippers >.<

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ thats referring to the idol worshippers >.<

the first bit is indeed referring to idol worshippers.


but the other parts are very clear:

We have adorned for every community their, good and evil, deeds, and they commit them

can you say this is referring to idol worsihp?

tell me, where is the "good" in idol worship?


Assalamu Alaikum

 

[Saimah Ali]

i meant the first bit

chill out lol

i didnt say idol wirhsip was good

anyway i gave my advice lol

 

[AnonymousPoster]

my religion tells me to keep away from free mixing. i love these people for the sake of Allah..because they are great people who remind me of Allah etc.

impossible! there is no way that a love between men and women can go on being purely for the sake of Allaah without there being a fitnah somewhere down the line, it defies human nature and that is the very reason free-mixing was made haraam.

A brother who reminds you of Allaah will remind you of your duties first one of which is not to free-mix!!

Islaam does not hurt you...you choose to be hurt by it. There is no compulsion. Its your choice.

 

[sevgi]

i seem to have thrown myself into a bunch of blind people. you guys are so rude and have no idea what i am going on about.

those of you whos replies i appreciate have recieved a rep from me. the rest of you have offended me.

i am a person of logic. im not dumb. the moment i sense a guy frend develop feelings for me..i shove em away...and it has never happened. urgh. ur all sick..all you think about is relationships between guys and girls. its disgusting.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

i am a person of logic. im not dumb. the moment i sense a guy frend develop feelings for me..i shove em away...and it has never happened. urgh. ur all sick..all you think about is relationships between guys and girls. its disgusting.

subhanAllaah


i apologise wallahi, it was not my intent.

perhaps i went through a low phase, may Allah forgive me and for that i need you too also.



however i still dont agree with your methods.


do you think men do not feel pain when getting shoved away like that after developing feelings? why not save them that pain and not give it a chance to begin with?






i am out of place here arent i.


last apologies before i take my leave.



Assalamu Alaikum

 

[Al-Zaara]

Selam aleykum, sevgi! Nice to see you online here! InshaAllah Uni is going well.

I've got male friends aswell, sevgi. I just wouldn't use the words "I love them". It's not what I feel and not what our relationships are about, I'd rather say "I appreciate them" more than random people, haha... But I guess it's so much more different for you than it is for me. And I also believe, 'love' can be difficult to define, it's not always what it seems at first, c'mon people.
Yet I'll try my best to give you my personal perspective of this.

In an ideal Islamic world, we would live in a society where there would be minimal interaction between guys and girls from the get go. That is the standard that we should be living by, as muslims.

But at the same time, sadly, this ain't the idea Islamic world. Though I agree, we should strive for an as close Islamic standard as we possibly can. Do not despair, you try hard enough, it doesn't help you or your Emaan if you all of the sudden during your quest just start feeling all depressed and worthless or too far away from your goal. You have to take things in realistically.

What I would personally suggest, as a young female Muslim in an non-Islamic environment, is to take it step by step. No need to rush! just 'cause you've suddenly memorized the whole Qur'an, doesn't make you an Qur'an master, lol, it takes time to sink in and you learn things frequently.

Firstly you have to really understand why it is very much disliked for females and males to interract except for strictly proffessional. Love, lust and fitnah... OK, but that ain't the case for you, you say. Even better! So you don't have to feel guilty for having done or thought something bad, that's one step ahead already. Then you slowly but steadily change the relationships you've got to these males, and females aswell. See what it is you gain from having a male friend and try to make it available around your female friends aswell.
I may sound hypocritical but inshaAllah I am just being very honest here, of both what i know and how I implement it in my own life as good as I can. This seems to be to be something of a "tabu" subject but as a matter of fact, many Muslims have both male and female friends, and friendship can be a difficult term, it is defined differently around the world. If you have a male friend you suddenly get HARAAAAM thrown at you, without being able always to explain your situation. It is not easy when islam isn't everwhere we go and we live in societies quite the opposite of our islamic values.
I have male friends, though I've never been that close to any of them. I have had them in my company often and still tend to have, but this is simply around school, I rarely see them outside school. This is something that I think for my Islamic side is very good, those relationships never had to develop outside school to be considered a 'friendship' according to me. I've never had to share my deepest secrets or the like, it is hard to explain. These are people I've known almost all my life and they simply are there, we have distances quite wide but still in times of need, we know we are friends. I just thought I should share a bit of my life to you, just to tell you this really is not something to despair for.

I personally find the way some of my male friends think to be extremly interesting, for example. They give a whole different perspective to things. But, as much as I'd like to discuss and hang out with them all day, I do not. As it's said "Less is better" and it can be used in many situations and I believe it does fit, if you are willing to see it, in this case aswell.

I hope I could help, inshaAllah!

 

[sevgi]

subhanAllaah


i apologise wallahi, it was not my intent.

perhaps i went through a low phase, may Allah forgive me and for that i need you too also.



however i still dont agree with your methods.


do you think men do not feel pain when getting shoved away like that after developing feelings? why not save them that pain and not give it a chance to begin with?






i am out of place here arent i.


last apologies before i take my leave.



Assalamu Alaikum

i said it has never happened. i dont let guys get close enuf to me to fall in love with me in an innaproproiate way. urgh..dw.

noone needs to appologise. ur allowed to share ur thoughts. i take those that suit me and vice versa.

thread closed?