Why people commit suicide?

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you azc;

When the circumstances entail the utter hopelessness or when the charm of life is lost or when the death is the only solution of the problems or when death looks dearer than life or when all the reasoning power is lost or when the darkness of utter despair is ingrained in mind or............ Whatever.... May Allah swt protect us from this sin. Ameen

Ameen.


Many years ago I called on a lady, she said, if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone else, having known her for some time, I thought she was going to tell me some gossip, and agreed.

She said she was in the process of ending her life, she was gradually overdosing on some tablets every day. (I don’t want to mention the name of the tablets.) She knew this would eventually destroy her organs, the damage would be irreversible; and she would suffer a slow and painful death. This seemed like a carefully planned and determined attempt to end her life, but she still chose to tell me about it..

She told me her story, some of which I already knew, she said that everyone who was important to her in her life had used her. Her husband ran of with another woman, her business partner bankrupted her, and her children only came to see her when they wanted something. Then another man did a terrible thing, there was no chance of getting justice, so she decided to end her life.

My response was to say that dying is not the problem, we all die, but leaving this world a bitter twisted and angry woman is not the way to leave this Earth. I talked about finding some way to forgive this person, because it was not in her nature to be bitter and angry. I said, even if you continue taking the tablets, try and forgive, you are a kind and caring person and it is not in your nature to leave this world angry and bitter.

There came a point when she had said all she could, and there was no more I could say, other than its pointless coming back next month to see you. She said come back.

I did phone later, and came back the following month, she’d had her kitchen decorated and was planning to landscape her garden. She never mentioned about ending her life again.

I had left her with a terrible burden, every day she would have to live with the memory of the hurt, and strive to overcome her loss.

Letting go of anger, and striving to forgive, helped this lady find a purpose in life.

In the spirit of never giving up hope.

Eric

 

[Search]

:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

(Peace be upon you)

Once upon a time, when I was 14, I had tried to commit suicide. The reason I'd tried to commit suicide was because I was seriously depressed due to the relentless middle school bullying I was experiencing in school. Subsequently, I received counseling which helped in addition to antidepressants to correct the chemical imbalance in my brain.

However, for those of you who don't understand why people try to commit suicide, it is rather simple: People who try to commit suicide or do commit suicide are afraid to confront their problems, their despair, and they see absolutely no way out of the dark place in which they find themselves.

Of course, now being a grown up, I now see that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." However, that's not the way suicidal people see their problems because they've entirely lost perspective and whatever they're experiencing/feeling seems to them like it's the end of the world.

So, if you ever want to help a suicidal person, the best thing you can do is simply listen and offer sincere advice if appropriate and possible without judgment. Don't offer platitudes; and don't think that people are making a mountain of a molehill. To you, whatever they're experiencing might be an insignificant problem, but to them, it might feel as if the entire universe is imploding and they no longer have any reason to continue to be among the living.

And for those who are or ever have been suicidal who might silently be reading this thread, I just want to say that life is beautiful and it is absolutely worth living: What I didn't realize at 14 was that no problem is the end of the world. Imagine if I'd succeeded in committing suicide at 14: I'd never have gone onto college. I'd never have gone on to find Islam. I'd never have gone onto law school. I'd never have been able to be in a position to help others. I'd never have been the person I am today. I'd not have been.

No one in this world has a perfect life. I still don't. But the thing is that life is perfect as it is, even with its imperfections, because we can entrust our affairs to God. I know for those of you who are not in a good place right now in your life may think it's never going to get better, but realize things and all the kinks in life have a way of working themselves out - you just have to be there long enough to want to know how it's all going to happen - and I hope you find the courage to want that for yourself because you deserve the best as God's beautiful creation. And God is Infinitely Merciful and without that Infinite Mercy encompassing you, you wouldn't be breathing these breaths you're breathing now. And if things seem too bad today or tomorrow to move on forward, don't lose hope, and just take it one day at a time; sometimes, you have to stop thinking and instead do. So, walk. Walk small steps with one foot in front of the other until one day you can look back and see all the distance you've covered and can know that you made it and see as all the obstacles and hurdles that were put in your life as beautiful gifts from God to make you stronger, shine brighter, and appreciate better who you are and all the things you have been given and what you can give others.

And even the poem that I'm sharing below is written by a non-Muslim author, I hope InshaAllah (God-willing) all of you take the positive message from this poem and hug it to your hearts for those wintry days that make you long impossibly for the sun to shine again in your hearts and lives:

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."

:wa: (And peace be upon you)

 

[Serinity]

To me suicide seems like a logical option to one faced with (according to him) a greater evil - so in his eyes - killing oneself is better than succumbing to that evil.

But regardless of what evil that is, there will always be a cure / a weapon against it. But the knowledge that Allah brought a cure for any disease - or in other words, Allah did not leave a disease except with a cure, is quite releaving. So in fact, since Suicide is a sin, there is a cure to that, and the thing that causes people to think suicide is better.

For every disease, there IS a cure.

Allahu alam.

 

[ruglifeTX]

I am a combat veteran and I have lived with the horrors of war . Seen things that I can't unsee and also seen things my heart did not agree with. I went into the military during a time of peace to pay for school cause my family is very very poor and I wanted to break the cycle. Found myself in war. Now broken. Mentally physically and emotionally there were times I thought what's the point. I'm crippled from war. My own wife thinks I'm crazy cause the simplest things make my brain go into overdrive. I wanted to die. Dying was better than hurting those around me. Dying was better than my family always watching me to make sure I was ok. But then I found salah. It slowed my anxiety. It has showed me how to love my family again. It has taken away the nightmares. The outbursts. Still hasn't taken away the pain in my leg haha but that's ok. That's a reminder of where I was and what brought me to Allah!

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you ruglifeTX;

I am so sad to hear about your sufferings, I have met soldiers before who are deeply depressed after coming home from war. We owe you all so much for fighting on our behalf. But sometimes I think, the lucky soldiers are the ones who come home in a body bag, their suffering is over.

May you be a blessing to those you love and care for.

Eric

 

[ruglifeTX]

Greetings and peace be with you ruglifeTX;

I am so sad to hear about your sufferings, I have met soldiers before who are deeply depressed after coming home from war. We owe you all so much for fighting on our behalf. But sometimes I think, the lucky soldiers are the ones who come home in a body bag, their suffering is over.

May you be a blessing to those you love and care for.

Eric

I'm not owed anything . I am just happy to be alive. The best thing to ever happen to me was to get a connection with Allah and have a Muslim community that accepts me and helps me grow .

 

[Search]

:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

(Peace be upon you)

Dear brother, welcome to IB! In a short time - seems to me like you've always been part of this forum; and I am personally very glad to have you with us and posting. Thank you for joining our IB family!

Brother, while I'm unable to diagnose medically as I'm not a medical professional, from what you've described, I do think you might be suffering from PTSD; also, I doubt your wife thinks you're crazy, though she probably does not understand that small things may trigger you to feel unduly frightened or remember things that you'd rather forget. Brother, please understand there is no shame in suffering from PTSD. Veterans just like you and other individuals who have experienced trauma of any sort do experience or have PTSD, including rape victims. The great news is that PTSD is treatable with therapy or medications, and therefore I strongly and sincerely advise you to also consult a professional about getting whatever professional help that's available; I'm glad Islam has helped you in becoming better, though I also feel that you might be benefited from other treatments as well.

Also, I am certain there are support groups for those suffering from PTSD, and you should feel free to join them InshaAllah (God-willing). Honestly, I think the worst part of any issues (whether mental, physical, spiritual) we experience in life is that often we forget that there are others like us and we're not alone.

As far as the pain in your leg is concerned, while I'm not familiar with your specific injury, I wanted to let you know that there's a wonderful natural ayurvedic ointment called Zandu Balm that you can try to use to see if it works for you; you should be able to find it in any South Asian (Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi) grocery store near you, especially as you're living in Texas and I think there's a sizable South Asian population in that state. Please know can also order the ointment from Amazon.com or ebay.com as a single jar.

Sincerest Regards & Best Wishes,

I am a combat veteran and I have lived with the horrors of war . Seen things that I can't unsee and also seen things my heart did not agree with. I went into the military during a time of peace to pay for school cause my family is very very poor and I wanted to break the cycle. Found myself in war. Now broken. Mentally physically and emotionally there were times I thought what's the point. I'm crippled from war. My own wife thinks I'm crazy cause the simplest things make my brain go into overdrive. I wanted to die. Dying was better than hurting those around me. Dying was better than my family always watching me to make sure I was ok. But then I found salah. It slowed my anxiety. It has showed me how to love my family again. It has taken away the nightmares. The outbursts. Still hasn't taken away the pain in my leg haha but that's ok. That's a reminder of where I was and what brought me to Allah!

:wa: (And peace be upon you)

 

[ruglifeTX]

:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

(Peace be upon you)

Dear brother, welcome to IB! In a short time - seems to me like you've always been part of this forum; and I am personally very glad to have you with us and posting. Thank you for joining our IB family!

Brother, while I'm unable to diagnose medically as I'm not a medical professional, from what you've described, I do think you might be suffering from PTSD; also, I doubt your wife thinks you're crazy, though she probably does not understand that small things may trigger you to feel unduly frightened or remember things that you'd rather forget. Brother, please understand there is no shame in suffering from PTSD. Veterans just like you and other individuals who have experienced trauma of any sort do experience or have PTSD, including rape victims. The great news is that PTSD is treatable with therapy or medications, and therefore I strongly and sincerely advise you to also consult a professional about getting whatever professional help that's available; I'm glad Islam has helped you in becoming better, though I also feel that you might be benefited from other treatments as well.

Also, I am certain there are support groups for those suffering from PTSD, and you should feel free to join them InshaAllah (God-willing). Honestly, I think the worst part of any issues (whether mental, physical, spiritual) we experience in life is that often we forget that there are others like us and we're not alone.

As far as the pain in your leg is concerned, while I'm not familiar with your specific injury, I wanted to let you know that there's a wonderful natural ayurvedic ointment called Zandu Balm that you can try to use to see if it works for you; you should be able to find it in any South Asian (Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi) grocery store near you, especially as you're living in Texas and I think there's a sizable South Asian population in that state. Please know can also order the ointment from Amazon.com or ebay.com as a single jar.

Sincerest Regards & Best Wishes,



:wa: (And peace be upon you)

Yea i am in Houston so we have a very large south Asian and middle eastern population! The halal market I go to is a desi halal grocery store . I am diagnosed with ptsd. I have shrapnel in my leg. And was shot through the shin. So it's a prettty painful experience but it is nothing I can't handle. My biggest problem is seizures due to traumatic brain injury but I have really good doctors that have worked hard to help regulate them.