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Thread: why???
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why r men so jelouse ??????Ie cant forget the past keep bringing it up being over caering .should I b right to say men can never forget a womans past???
 
what's this?? and what past are you refering to you couldve been more specific?

if past you mean by what bad things she did before ..then men can forget that! and remember not all men are the same so its unfair to generalize.

if a woman was a prostitute and she repented and she was to be a pious wife for me, then i would ''try'' to forget the past and id look towards working to build a beautiful family.

No1 is perfect i have a horrendous and disgusting past too
 
come to think of it


your past is your past, if you seek refuge and clear it up with whom youve wronged, no one else has to know.


Allah is all merciful, if he can forgive then we should be able to also... inshAllah
 
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not all people can take it easily, some would be understanding and support you, others not so. there are matters which should never be shared at that, it's up to you to decide, ih the other person is truly capable of forgiving etc then go ahead, otherwise f you really want to tell the truth no matter what then don't rush it,,
 
Dear A G
It depends on what past and what type. If you had a relationship with another man then it would be hard to forget but if you married the new husband in a halal way and divourced the other one then your husband should know that she's mine now and no one can take her away except Allah. InshAllah you can succeed.
Best regards Doctor Y(me )
 
AnonymousGender said:
why r men so jelouse ??????Ie cant forget the past keep bringing it up being over caering .should I b right to say men can never forget a womans past???
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I don't know if it would be right to use the word jealousy but, male or female, some people have a hard time getting over things. BUT, to keep bringing a subject up would be childish, disrespectful, and pretty annoying I would think. Some people can control it and others feel its their need to use it as a support statement during an argument or whatever. That person needs to move on and do whats best for the marriage.

ok so is it best 2 lie about ur past 2 a guy or tell the truth I would rather tell the truth
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I personally think its best to not hide anything from your spouse. I'd rather find out from you than from someone else, and sometimes the past can come back to haunt you so, just think about how much worse the situation would be. Loyalty and honesty are big for me.

woops misquoted
 
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What is worst than committing sin save for flaunting it -- if you have done wrong in the past then make tawba and don't expose your sins to the world.. and people shouldn't be asking you to expose your sins either least of which on a public forum

my two cents

and Allah swt knows best

:w:
 
^I was about to say the same thing sis Skye. We are not supposed to expose our sins when Allah the Merciful conceals them for us. The people whom we disclose them to may accept them in this world but they will testify against us in the hereafter.

If Allah wanted our sins exposed he wouldve written them on our foreheads. Hush!
 
if you've hurt him, i guess he might forgive you, but i doubt he'll ever forget, and someday if the two of you are arguing, he will probably talk about what you did, i guess its just human.
but make duah, it always helps
 
My husband is a Muslim, I am not.
He is very prone to jealousy, I much less.
Yet he has a reason to be because my husband grew up in a moral culture and lived an examplary life. I less so becuase I grew up in a culture were sexuality was encouraged.

So when I came to my marriage I was not a virgin. I was not a terrible woman, but I could not come to my husband with an innocent untouched body.

I was honest about that, and I don't regret it. I love my husband enough that I will not lie to him. I love myself enough that I will not dishonor my own self-respect with telling false hoods. Morality is not something innate, though we some have the natural propensity to want to do good, we must LEARN learn to truly LOVE good and live it. Some of us were fortunate to be born in cultures that impart that learning young. Some are not and must find our way there alone. Though it is optimum to get to that place of moral living as fast as possible, the true measure of a human being is in the striving to reach that place.

There has been moments where my husband has passed judgment about my previous life. To which I reply: I didn't know you were out there, if I would have known I would have waited. The past is the past and I can not change it. But I can give you all my future completely, which I do everyday. I can not change my body, but I can swear to you in my mind you are all that there is and ever will be.

It always makes him happy, most of all because he knows it is true. And most of all: I love him more because he accepts this. He loves himself more too because he knows he is a forgiving person not caught up on past behaviors but judging people by the content of their character today.

I understand the logic some women said here about not having your history written on your head. It DOES make sense. I suppose the choice is yours in regards to if you wish to employ deception only to ennable someone to be judgmental. Both behaviors are not optimum. I hope the choice you make serves you well, as long as your intentions are pure.
 
Women are just as jealous.

This is human nature, forgiving / forgetting / being second place isn't what most of us idealise as the perfect marriage.
 
I would still want the truth of someone i'd marry. Thats me, it suits every individuals needs. Sometimes, if a woman did sleep prior to marriage, but repented and told. For some men, they'd be ok, for some they may not. You should let him know if anything is like that. I'd ask that question to the person I am interested in marrying because a.) for STD purposes and b.) what if this might happen again, how was it that person able to get out of it, and stay affirm to righteous path.

For those two reasons, I would ask. But, yes Allah swt did say to conceal sins, but i would ask if it involves any physical relationship (kissing, and etc) because then the matter of STD is very important. Regardless.
 
-Kai- said:
I don't know if it would be right to use the word jealousy but, male or female, some people have a hard time getting over things. BUT, to keep bringing a subject up would be childish, disrespectful, and pretty annoying I would think. Some people can control it and others feel its their need to use it as a support statement during an argument or whatever. That person needs to move on and do whats best for the marriage.



I personally think its best to not hide anything from your spouse. I'd rather find out from you than from someone else, and sometimes the past can come back to haunt you so, just think about how much worse the situation would be. Loyalty and honesty are big for me.

woops misquoted
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honesty is the best.
 
if he loves you then he wouldnt be able to forget.TRUST ME.he might try but it will always be in the back of his head.but women are the same i think.difference is they wont say anything regarding the matter and a man will.