Brother ardianto! may Allah bless u!
jazakillah khayr, my sister.
Is there something like a husband can order his wife to offer prayer or keep a fast and if she doesn't, she is twice guilty? One for disobeying Allah and second for disobeying the husband?
Not only can. If the wife never perform salah and never fast in ramadan without "uzur" that prevent her to do these ibadah, the husband is obligated to order his wife to perform salah and fasting, because this is a duty of the imam in the family.
What about hajj or Umra for a housewife? She wouldn't have money of her own so does it ever become obligatory for her to perform it?
Hajj is obligated for every Muslims who able/afford to do hajj. Poor people who have no enough money to go hajj is not obligated to go hajj.
But I understand what you are talking about.
Housewives do not work to make money. But who said they don't have income?. Their husbands income are their income too, because husbands are obligated to make money not for the husbands themselves, but for their families.
If a family has enough money to go hajj at least for the husband and the wife, the wife is obligated to go hajj because she is categorized as a Muslim person who able/afford to go hajj. But if the wife cannot go hajj because the husbands refuse to use this money to go hajj and choose to buy something, like car, this is not the wife fault, but the husband fault.
If she wants a separate house and don't want to live with her in-laws, is she permitted for that? asking for a separate house in her mahar or marriage contract?
There is no any rule in Islam that mention, after getting married husband and wife should live in .......
If you want to have your own space and do not want to live with your in-laws, just talk to your husband.
But sis, not every husband afford to buy or rent a house. If your husband has not afford to buy or rent the house and decide to live with his parent, you should live with him. And always support him to make money and always make du'a wish Allah give him enough income to buy or rent a house, and then you can move to your own space.
We know that if person find one or both of his parents in old age and serve them right, then he earns jannah in that way. So a married son can easily do that but what about the married daughter? How is she going to fullfill that if her husband is not good or understanding? What about a wife's wish to serve her parents? What does islam say about it?
A difference tradition between Indonesia and Pakistan. In Indonesia, a man comes to his wife family. In Pakistan, a woman comes to her husband family. In Indonesia, a new family that build by new married couple is closer to the wife family, in Pakistan a family like this is closer to the husband family.
Both traditions are only tradition because there is no rule in Islam that mention, after getting married, the husband and wife should closer to ........
But the husband is not allowed to cut the wife family tie and relationship with her family. And the wife is not allowed to cut the husband family tie and relationship with his family. Forbid the wife to meet or make a contact with her family is wrong.
The good husband will not forbid his wife to serve her parents. And the good wife will not spend her time only to serve her parents and neglect her duty to her husband.
So, sis, if after getting married you want to serve your parents you can talk and discuss with your husband to find the best way, how to serve your parents without neglect your duties as a wife.
Waiyyak.