Assalamualaikum.
I'm a translator. One of my recent projects is as an editor of media with very subtle and minor LGBT theme (there is 1 gay couple in the story and two implied bisexuals woman; it's not the main focus; no sex, kissing, holding hands are not shown, at most just putting head on another's shoulder; the lines related to LGBT content are around 3-4 sentences max). When I first agreed to translate the media, I already know about the content but I do not think much of it (I hate it but think it's just part of the job).
However, 1-2 days ago, when the project is 95% done, I realized that by translating the LGBT parts of the story, I have committed a sin and that I'll receive jariyah sins every time another person saw the translated LGBT parts. I was horrified. Astagfirullah.
Then, I perform several steps toward tawbah:
1) I felt very deep regret.
2) I performed istighfar and asked for forgiveness from Allah SWT.
3) I swore to be more selective and will do due diligence for future project's content. If suddenly there's an LGBT related content, I'll let another linguist handle that part or I'll just leave the project altogether.
4) I immediately contacted the PM (project manager) to be removed from the project. I made up some excuses for fear of the PM not accepting purely religious reason.
5) I refused the payment for the project (around USD 2,175++).
6) As one of my last act in the project, I tried to censor the LGBT lines since if I just withdraw, the translation will still be used since it's mostly done. Although it will be up to another person in charge whether the censored lines will be used or not.
7) I performed shalah taubat.
8) I made jariyah donation to "counter" the negative effects of the LGBT content.
9) I contacted the PM again saying that "I wouldn't mind to have my name be erased from the project". I do not use a more direct language to prevent the PM from getting suspicious. Although, the decision to write down/erased the name are not held by my PM but by the publisher. Also several months ago, the publisher already write down all the linguists name in the credits so it's pretty much outside of my influence.
I've done all I possibly can, I know I shouldn't be saying or feeling this, but I'm afraid that my taubah won't be accepted and I'll still receive dosa jariyah. Especially if the censored lines are not accepted and my name is still in the credit. Nauzubillah and Astagfirullah.
Muslim brothers and sisters, may I have some words of encouragement for my aching and unsure heart to erase all the waswas I'm feeling?
It can be your own words, from Quran, from hadith, from Ulama, from Muslim Scholar, etc.
Thank you so much and may Allah SWT erase all our sins and bless us always
I'm a translator. One of my recent projects is as an editor of media with very subtle and minor LGBT theme (there is 1 gay couple in the story and two implied bisexuals woman; it's not the main focus; no sex, kissing, holding hands are not shown, at most just putting head on another's shoulder; the lines related to LGBT content are around 3-4 sentences max). When I first agreed to translate the media, I already know about the content but I do not think much of it (I hate it but think it's just part of the job).
However, 1-2 days ago, when the project is 95% done, I realized that by translating the LGBT parts of the story, I have committed a sin and that I'll receive jariyah sins every time another person saw the translated LGBT parts. I was horrified. Astagfirullah.
Then, I perform several steps toward tawbah:
1) I felt very deep regret.
2) I performed istighfar and asked for forgiveness from Allah SWT.
3) I swore to be more selective and will do due diligence for future project's content. If suddenly there's an LGBT related content, I'll let another linguist handle that part or I'll just leave the project altogether.
4) I immediately contacted the PM (project manager) to be removed from the project. I made up some excuses for fear of the PM not accepting purely religious reason.
5) I refused the payment for the project (around USD 2,175++).
6) As one of my last act in the project, I tried to censor the LGBT lines since if I just withdraw, the translation will still be used since it's mostly done. Although it will be up to another person in charge whether the censored lines will be used or not.
7) I performed shalah taubat.
8) I made jariyah donation to "counter" the negative effects of the LGBT content.
9) I contacted the PM again saying that "I wouldn't mind to have my name be erased from the project". I do not use a more direct language to prevent the PM from getting suspicious. Although, the decision to write down/erased the name are not held by my PM but by the publisher. Also several months ago, the publisher already write down all the linguists name in the credits so it's pretty much outside of my influence.
I've done all I possibly can, I know I shouldn't be saying or feeling this, but I'm afraid that my taubah won't be accepted and I'll still receive dosa jariyah. Especially if the censored lines are not accepted and my name is still in the credit. Nauzubillah and Astagfirullah.
Muslim brothers and sisters, may I have some words of encouragement for my aching and unsure heart to erase all the waswas I'm feeling?
It can be your own words, from Quran, from hadith, from Ulama, from Muslim Scholar, etc.
Thank you so much and may Allah SWT erase all our sins and bless us always