Woolworths Facing Wrath Over Hot Cross Buns
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Abz2000
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^ i think there's special rituals which they must chant while they eat their idol,
maybe they'll even call it their idol's flesh, and wash it down with some intoxicating blood,
then go toilet and flush it all down
the authenticity of this hadith is questioned, but has been narrated by a number of great scholars including imam anwar al awlaki, so i'll post it for the relevance to the topic:
" The Sahabah (radiAllaahu anhum) recited the Quran and this was the only source of knowledge for them. Before Islaam came, they were illiterate people who were ignorant.
On one occasion, a few companions saw Umar ibn al-Khattab (radiAllaahu anhu) laughing and then crying; one after the other.
They asked what had caused that to happen to him.
He said. "I remember that in the days of Jahiliyyah, I used to have this idol made of dates.
One day, I became so hungry that I ate a piece of it.
And then, I cried when I remembered digging a hole and burying my daughter. Whilst I was putting her in, she reached up and brushed dirt from my beard.” As a Muslim these incidents made him cry and laugh. Without Islaam these moments weren’t funny or sad, it was normal. Without Islaam, making sujood to an idol made out of dates and then eating the same dates was absolutely fine and acceptable and killing a baby girl alive was acceptable. It was Islaam that changed Umar (radiAllaahu anhu); it was the Quran. So the Sahabah had nothing without the Quran, they had no formal education. What they had after Islaam was what they learned from the Book of Allaah. "
Source:
http://www.kalamullah.com/Books/Unde...he Quran.pdf
maybe they'll even call it their idol's flesh, and wash it down with some intoxicating blood,
then go toilet and flush it all down
the authenticity of this hadith is questioned, but has been narrated by a number of great scholars including imam anwar al awlaki, so i'll post it for the relevance to the topic:
" The Sahabah (radiAllaahu anhum) recited the Quran and this was the only source of knowledge for them. Before Islaam came, they were illiterate people who were ignorant.
On one occasion, a few companions saw Umar ibn al-Khattab (radiAllaahu anhu) laughing and then crying; one after the other.
They asked what had caused that to happen to him.
He said. "I remember that in the days of Jahiliyyah, I used to have this idol made of dates.
One day, I became so hungry that I ate a piece of it.
And then, I cried when I remembered digging a hole and burying my daughter. Whilst I was putting her in, she reached up and brushed dirt from my beard.” As a Muslim these incidents made him cry and laugh. Without Islaam these moments weren’t funny or sad, it was normal. Without Islaam, making sujood to an idol made out of dates and then eating the same dates was absolutely fine and acceptable and killing a baby girl alive was acceptable. It was Islaam that changed Umar (radiAllaahu anhu); it was the Quran. So the Sahabah had nothing without the Quran, they had no formal education. What they had after Islaam was what they learned from the Book of Allaah. "
Source:
http://www.kalamullah.com/Books/Unde...he Quran.pdf
Last edited:
Marina-Aisha
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isnt to do with easter? i dunno they need get life...im sorry bout there are dying people in the world dying of hunger and there care bout some halal stamp?seriously?
ardianto
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If the bread makers change the cross on buns into other shapes like letter A, letter B, two parallel lines, or anything, this will not changes its taste, as long as not too much.
Maybe I should start bread business and sell buns with various topping like letter z, figure 8, smiley, peace symbol, etc, except cross. And I would ask halal label from ulama council. Everyone can buy my buns. If those Christian people still protest, I could argue them with "your patent is only for the cross mark, not for the the buns itself. Look at these buns. Do you see a cross?".
Halal label is not sign of Islamization. Halal label actually just a sign to inform Muslim consumer that the product is safe for them, not to make this product becomes for Muslim only. Not different than "safe for diabetic people" label, which non-diabetic people can consume too.
Non-Muslims people in my place often consume products with halal label and they do not have problem with it. Even in fact, many of products with halal label are produced by non-Muslims. But they registered their product to get halal label because they wanted to reach Muslim consumers.
But I understand if some Christian people feel uncomfortable with halal label for hot cross buns. Cross mark on hot cross buns has its own history that related to Christianity. It's okay if they want halal label removed from hot cross buns. Muslims have no problem with it. Like I've said, if the bread makers change the cross into other shapes, it will not changes the buns taste.
Maybe I should start bread business and sell buns with various topping like letter z, figure 8, smiley, peace symbol, etc, except cross. And I would ask halal label from ulama council. Everyone can buy my buns. If those Christian people still protest, I could argue them with "your patent is only for the cross mark, not for the the buns itself. Look at these buns. Do you see a cross?".
Halal label is not sign of Islamization. Halal label actually just a sign to inform Muslim consumer that the product is safe for them, not to make this product becomes for Muslim only. Not different than "safe for diabetic people" label, which non-diabetic people can consume too.
Non-Muslims people in my place often consume products with halal label and they do not have problem with it. Even in fact, many of products with halal label are produced by non-Muslims. But they registered their product to get halal label because they wanted to reach Muslim consumers.
But I understand if some Christian people feel uncomfortable with halal label for hot cross buns. Cross mark on hot cross buns has its own history that related to Christianity. It's okay if they want halal label removed from hot cross buns. Muslims have no problem with it. Like I've said, if the bread makers change the cross into other shapes, it will not changes the buns taste.
~Zaria~
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A reply by the national halaal authority.......
Just wish South Africans could invest this much passion in advocating on behalf of something GOOD and USEFUL to mankind, rather than over buns!
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[TD="width: 1182, bgcolor: #F4FFE4"]Bigotry and intolerance are traits of extremism which unfortunately rears its ugly head now and again. Some individuals are up in arms over the Halaal symbol on “their” buns, claiming this to be a sacrilege and blasphemy against Christianity. In a few social media posts they allege that the buns have been prayed on and accuse the retailer concerned of being insensitive especially during the Easter period.
Although SANHA does not certify the hot cross buns that created the furore, in the absence of any comment from the certification body concerned, we feel constrained to respond on the principle of the matter.
SANHA rejects this furore as unwarranted, having no basis or foundation, which only serves to oxygenate the dying embers of extremism and religious intolerance from the era of the past which our leaders liberated us from with great sacrifices.
The claim that the hot-cross buns are “an association to the death of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour”is factually incorrect. Even mainstream Christian leaders from the Southern African Catholic Bishops’ Conference have confirmed that “hot-cross buns” is not a tenet of Christianity.
A Halaal mark signifies that the product was produced in a Halaal compliant facilitywhich is free from Pork, alcohol and non-Halaal materials using only permitted ingredients. It is misleading and ludicrous to allege that prayers are read over every hot cross bun.
We concur with Father Chris Townsend’s (spokesman for the S.A. Catholic Bishops’ Conference) sentiments when he says, “we live in a multicultural society and need more understanding and religious tolerance. There are a lot more weighty issues to deal with in SA than a few hot-cross Christians.”
The late Pope John Paul II in one of his Vatican documents stated:
Upon the Muslims, too, the Church looks with esteem. They adore one God, Living and Enduring, Merciful and All Powerful. Maker of heaven and earth and Speaker to men. They strive to submit wholeheartedly even to His inscrutable decrees just as did Abraham, with whom the Islamic faith is pleased to associate itself. Though they do not acknowledge Jesus as God, they revere Him as a Prophet. They also honour Mary, his virgin mother. In addition they await the day of judgement when God will give each man his due after raising him up. Consequently, they prize the moral life, and give worship to God, especially through prayer, alms-giving, and fasting.
Although in the course of centuries many quarrels and hostilities have arisen between Christians and Muslims, this most sacred synod urges all to forget the past and to strive sincerely for mutual understanding. On behalf of all mankind, let them make common cause of safeguarding and fostering social justice, moral values, peace and freedom.
We urge right minded people everywhere, irrespective of their faiths to focus on the positive teachings and good works of our religious leaders, to create an environment of mutual respect, understanding and tolerance of each other's religious values.
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Just wish South Africans could invest this much passion in advocating on behalf of something GOOD and USEFUL to mankind, rather than over buns!
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South African National Halaal Authority (SANHA)
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[SIZE=+2]Flash News!!
HOT-CROSS FURORE[/SIZE]
[/TD]HOT-CROSS FURORE[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=-1]No.60[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=-1] March 2012 : Jumaadal Ulaa 1433[/SIZE]
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[TD="width: 1182, bgcolor: #F4FFE4"]Bigotry and intolerance are traits of extremism which unfortunately rears its ugly head now and again. Some individuals are up in arms over the Halaal symbol on “their” buns, claiming this to be a sacrilege and blasphemy against Christianity. In a few social media posts they allege that the buns have been prayed on and accuse the retailer concerned of being insensitive especially during the Easter period.
Although SANHA does not certify the hot cross buns that created the furore, in the absence of any comment from the certification body concerned, we feel constrained to respond on the principle of the matter.
SANHA rejects this furore as unwarranted, having no basis or foundation, which only serves to oxygenate the dying embers of extremism and religious intolerance from the era of the past which our leaders liberated us from with great sacrifices.
The claim that the hot-cross buns are “an association to the death of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour”is factually incorrect. Even mainstream Christian leaders from the Southern African Catholic Bishops’ Conference have confirmed that “hot-cross buns” is not a tenet of Christianity.
A Halaal mark signifies that the product was produced in a Halaal compliant facilitywhich is free from Pork, alcohol and non-Halaal materials using only permitted ingredients. It is misleading and ludicrous to allege that prayers are read over every hot cross bun.
We concur with Father Chris Townsend’s (spokesman for the S.A. Catholic Bishops’ Conference) sentiments when he says, “we live in a multicultural society and need more understanding and religious tolerance. There are a lot more weighty issues to deal with in SA than a few hot-cross Christians.”
The late Pope John Paul II in one of his Vatican documents stated:
Upon the Muslims, too, the Church looks with esteem. They adore one God, Living and Enduring, Merciful and All Powerful. Maker of heaven and earth and Speaker to men. They strive to submit wholeheartedly even to His inscrutable decrees just as did Abraham, with whom the Islamic faith is pleased to associate itself. Though they do not acknowledge Jesus as God, they revere Him as a Prophet. They also honour Mary, his virgin mother. In addition they await the day of judgement when God will give each man his due after raising him up. Consequently, they prize the moral life, and give worship to God, especially through prayer, alms-giving, and fasting.
Although in the course of centuries many quarrels and hostilities have arisen between Christians and Muslims, this most sacred synod urges all to forget the past and to strive sincerely for mutual understanding. On behalf of all mankind, let them make common cause of safeguarding and fostering social justice, moral values, peace and freedom.
We urge right minded people everywhere, irrespective of their faiths to focus on the positive teachings and good works of our religious leaders, to create an environment of mutual respect, understanding and tolerance of each other's religious values.
[SIZE=+1]It’s a BUN deal.
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[SIZE=-1]Your Duas, constructive comments, criticism and feedback is truly appreciated[/SIZE]
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[SIZE=+1]www.sanha.org.za[/SIZE]
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~Zaria~
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Sunnie Ameena
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That would be great. You could make a mail order business, and we could order. lol.
it would be haram to eat if it was made for religious purposes, such as the round things catholics eat on mass, given to them by the bishop. Or food intended solely to be used as offerings to hindu idols. But the hot cross buns are not used for any religious purposes, maybe the name is a relic of the past, but either way it's not really related to Christianity at all.
Obviously it only takes one muslim to do something silly and the press jump onto it like mad.
Obviously it only takes one muslim to do something silly and the press jump onto it like mad.
smile
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these articles are better , the second is hilarious !
In bun we trust
FARANAAZ PARKER, VERASHNI PILLAY AND CHRIS ROPER JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA - Mar 30 2012 13:06
64 Comments and 189 Reactions
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The furore around Woolworths' tasty confectionary -- the esteemed hot cross bun -- has forced the Mail & Guardian to step up and pit religious and non-religious types against each other to settle the debate.
The Cape Times reported on Thursday that people had written e-mails and used social networking sites to voice disapproval of the use of a Muslim mark on a food that had special significance for Christians.
The Muslim: Faranaaz Parker
Let's set the record straight for anyone who might think that an imam prayed over their hot cross buns.
For Muslims, anything that God has decreed to be permissible is halaal. Halaal could be used to speak about the type of businesses you can invest in or the kind of jewellery you can wear.
Mostly though it's used to talk about food. There are all sorts of rules about which foods Muslims can and can't eat, and things get tricky when it comes to ritual slaughter.
But fish, fruit and vegetables aren't slaughtered so they're an easy choice.
Your hot cross buns are made entirely out of vegetable products so there's no need for anyone to pray over the batter while the baker stirs in currants and citrus peel.
The stamp on the package simply signals to Muslims that it's okay to eat those buns -- not that someone prayed over them.
So if you want to get mad at someone for making your buns halaal, don't get mad at Woolworths or the halaal authority who sold them the right to put a stamp on the packaging. Get mad at God. He made the vegetables in your hot cross buns halaal.
The sad part here is the solution we've arrived at -- the same buns packaged differently so Christians who have issues with a crescent moon stamp can eat hot cross buns and Muslims can eat the exact same buns but labelled "spiced buns".
And we wonder why the atheists just laugh at us.
The Christian: Verashni Pillay
Christianity is simple right? A baby was born a long time ago and grew up to become a shaggy-haired Father Christmas who delivers presents every December wrapped in the emblematic colours of red, green and gold.
A few months later we eat the body of Christ in the form of a bun with a cross stamped atop and a few days after that we celebrate new life by eating a candy egg, symbolising the chocolatey goodness that is candy-coated paganism and hollow theology.
Wake up people. A piece of confectionary that probably dates back to the 8th century in honour of the goddess Eostre does not a Christian make.
So I have to ask my fellow Christians who penned those angry and insulting mails, comments and petitions demanding that the hot cross bun be de-Islamed: have you actually read the Bible? You may be surprised to find there is actually no mention of holy egg or buns.
Do a bit of Googling and make peace with the fact that the early church Christianised a bunch of pagan traditions to make the faith more palatable. But the relevance of those hangovers to our present practice of Christianity, which should be rooted in the Bible, is next to nought.
In fact, the New Testament is quite clear about what our attitude towards "holy" food should be. It doesn't exist. As the apostle Paul put it in Romans 14:16-18: "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." Then there's the bit about what comes out of your mouth being far more important that what goes in.
Instead of the "peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" that we're called to display you've shown yourself to by legalistic, petty and completely missing the point of our faith.
Christianity: 0, Paganism: 1.
The Atheist: Chris Roper
Christians are right to be outraged and fearful at the attempt by Muslims and the Taliban-controlled Woolworths to hijack their hot cross buns.
When followers of the Goddess Eostre, in Saxon England, first noticed that their traditional buns with the four quarters of the moon cut into them were being sold in Ye Olde Woolyworthes with a cross on, they didn’t complain.
No, the idiots were all tolerant and accommodating (or "Christian", as it used to be called). And see what happened to them! Not exactly religious flavour of the century now, are they.
CONTINUES BELOW
No, this is obviously an attempt by fundamentalist dough-loving Muslims to put yet another crack in the solid edifice of Christianity, all with an eye to eventual religious domination.
Of course, as one of the Children of the ****ed, I’m compelled to ask -- why the hell (sic) do I have to have Christian titbits sold in my secular supermarket anyway?
Do I really want to munch down on an earthly reminder that millions of my fellow humans are superstitious believers who have time to read the small print on confectionery packaging? Next thing they’ll be stopping us buying wine on Sundays. Oh, wait ...
But the most terrible thing is that -- brace yourself -- Easter bunnies are also halaal now! These cute, holy little beasties, famously described in the Old Testament (Numbers 13: 21-22) as "And Thumper begat Bre'er Rabbit, and Bre’r Rabbit begat Bugs, and Bugs begat Miffy, and Miffy had a lesbian thing with Jessica Rabbit", are also going to be subsumed to the cause of Islamic Imperialism. And these are people who slaughter animals alive in their Satanic halaal rituals! Poor bunnies!
Christians need to fight back. Where's Mel Gibson when you need him.
The Jew: Toby Shapshak
Nice. Everyone gets to argue about hot cross buns which we can't eat because it's Pesach. Typical. While everyone gets to nosh on pastries and Easter eggs, we have to eat unleavened bread which gives you constipation. This is what it means to be Jewish really. Yiddish has lots of words of sorrow and idiots. Happiness and joy not so much.
Other religions
If you feel your religion hasn't been represented here on the crucial hot cross bun question, please mail us. Hindu, Buddhist, Used Car Salesman, Scientologist: Be the Bun!
Woolworths shoppers foil Islamist hot cross bun terror plot
CAPE TOWN. Christians are still in shock after after discovering Woolworths hot cross buns emblazoned with “Al-Qaeda logos”, later revealed to be Halaal certification stickers. “I knew they were originally a pagan treat, and yes, we usually enjoy them every year around the Jewish festival of Passover,” said one shopper. “But to see all that squiggly backwards writing – it makes your blood run cold!”
Following complaints on Twitter and Facebook, Woolworths apologized and promised to offer both Halaal and non-Halaal buns in future, reassuring shoppers that it took the complaints of the religious community far more seriously than those of secular people, which was why it was still impossible to buy wine on a Sunday – a policy “ordained by God in an epistle to Paul, who then forwarded it to the South African Chamber of Commerce”.
While anti-terrorism units isolated the hot cross buns and ushered Christian shoppers out of range of their terrifying Arabic packaging, bishops specializing in the occult were called to the scene and quickly ascertained that both the regular and extra-spicy buns were definitely of demonic origin.
“We threw holy water at the Moorish buns, and sure enough, they began to hiss and writhe and babble in a language we’ve decided is probably an ancient Urdu dialect,” said leading food exorcist, Father Donut O’Really. “Or, at least, they wilted a bit. But that’s close enough.”
He also warned customers against consuming the evil buns, saying that doing so could “imperil their very mortal souls”.
Meanwhile, the liturgical division of the South African Police Service has warned shoppers to be on the lookout for other extremist foods, including macon.
Sergeant Bishop Barabbas ‘Butch’ Golgotha said that terror cells may be taking advantage of “the modern ideology of culinary multiculturalism, like fusion or sushi or any of that foreign ****” to hide in plain sight in deli counters around the country.
“For now, we have to assume that pretty much everything with a carbohydrate value over 10 percent of the recommended daily allowance is a threat to the Christian way of life,” said Golgotha. “And it goes without saying that croissants, flagrantly sporting that Islamic crescent-moon, should be considered armed and extremely dangerous until further notice.”
In bun we trust
FARANAAZ PARKER, VERASHNI PILLAY AND CHRIS ROPER JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA - Mar 30 2012 13:06
64 Comments and 189 Reactions
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The furore around Woolworths' tasty confectionary -- the esteemed hot cross bun -- has forced the Mail & Guardian to step up and pit religious and non-religious types against each other to settle the debate.
The Cape Times reported on Thursday that people had written e-mails and used social networking sites to voice disapproval of the use of a Muslim mark on a food that had special significance for Christians.
The Muslim: Faranaaz Parker
Let's set the record straight for anyone who might think that an imam prayed over their hot cross buns.
For Muslims, anything that God has decreed to be permissible is halaal. Halaal could be used to speak about the type of businesses you can invest in or the kind of jewellery you can wear.
Mostly though it's used to talk about food. There are all sorts of rules about which foods Muslims can and can't eat, and things get tricky when it comes to ritual slaughter.
But fish, fruit and vegetables aren't slaughtered so they're an easy choice.
Your hot cross buns are made entirely out of vegetable products so there's no need for anyone to pray over the batter while the baker stirs in currants and citrus peel.
The stamp on the package simply signals to Muslims that it's okay to eat those buns -- not that someone prayed over them.
So if you want to get mad at someone for making your buns halaal, don't get mad at Woolworths or the halaal authority who sold them the right to put a stamp on the packaging. Get mad at God. He made the vegetables in your hot cross buns halaal.
The sad part here is the solution we've arrived at -- the same buns packaged differently so Christians who have issues with a crescent moon stamp can eat hot cross buns and Muslims can eat the exact same buns but labelled "spiced buns".
And we wonder why the atheists just laugh at us.
The Christian: Verashni Pillay
Christianity is simple right? A baby was born a long time ago and grew up to become a shaggy-haired Father Christmas who delivers presents every December wrapped in the emblematic colours of red, green and gold.
A few months later we eat the body of Christ in the form of a bun with a cross stamped atop and a few days after that we celebrate new life by eating a candy egg, symbolising the chocolatey goodness that is candy-coated paganism and hollow theology.
Wake up people. A piece of confectionary that probably dates back to the 8th century in honour of the goddess Eostre does not a Christian make.
So I have to ask my fellow Christians who penned those angry and insulting mails, comments and petitions demanding that the hot cross bun be de-Islamed: have you actually read the Bible? You may be surprised to find there is actually no mention of holy egg or buns.
Do a bit of Googling and make peace with the fact that the early church Christianised a bunch of pagan traditions to make the faith more palatable. But the relevance of those hangovers to our present practice of Christianity, which should be rooted in the Bible, is next to nought.
In fact, the New Testament is quite clear about what our attitude towards "holy" food should be. It doesn't exist. As the apostle Paul put it in Romans 14:16-18: "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." Then there's the bit about what comes out of your mouth being far more important that what goes in.
Instead of the "peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" that we're called to display you've shown yourself to by legalistic, petty and completely missing the point of our faith.
Christianity: 0, Paganism: 1.
The Atheist: Chris Roper
Christians are right to be outraged and fearful at the attempt by Muslims and the Taliban-controlled Woolworths to hijack their hot cross buns.
When followers of the Goddess Eostre, in Saxon England, first noticed that their traditional buns with the four quarters of the moon cut into them were being sold in Ye Olde Woolyworthes with a cross on, they didn’t complain.
No, the idiots were all tolerant and accommodating (or "Christian", as it used to be called). And see what happened to them! Not exactly religious flavour of the century now, are they.
CONTINUES BELOW
No, this is obviously an attempt by fundamentalist dough-loving Muslims to put yet another crack in the solid edifice of Christianity, all with an eye to eventual religious domination.
Of course, as one of the Children of the ****ed, I’m compelled to ask -- why the hell (sic) do I have to have Christian titbits sold in my secular supermarket anyway?
Do I really want to munch down on an earthly reminder that millions of my fellow humans are superstitious believers who have time to read the small print on confectionery packaging? Next thing they’ll be stopping us buying wine on Sundays. Oh, wait ...
But the most terrible thing is that -- brace yourself -- Easter bunnies are also halaal now! These cute, holy little beasties, famously described in the Old Testament (Numbers 13: 21-22) as "And Thumper begat Bre'er Rabbit, and Bre’r Rabbit begat Bugs, and Bugs begat Miffy, and Miffy had a lesbian thing with Jessica Rabbit", are also going to be subsumed to the cause of Islamic Imperialism. And these are people who slaughter animals alive in their Satanic halaal rituals! Poor bunnies!
Christians need to fight back. Where's Mel Gibson when you need him.
The Jew: Toby Shapshak
Nice. Everyone gets to argue about hot cross buns which we can't eat because it's Pesach. Typical. While everyone gets to nosh on pastries and Easter eggs, we have to eat unleavened bread which gives you constipation. This is what it means to be Jewish really. Yiddish has lots of words of sorrow and idiots. Happiness and joy not so much.
Other religions
If you feel your religion hasn't been represented here on the crucial hot cross bun question, please mail us. Hindu, Buddhist, Used Car Salesman, Scientologist: Be the Bun!
Woolworths shoppers foil Islamist hot cross bun terror plot
CAPE TOWN. Christians are still in shock after after discovering Woolworths hot cross buns emblazoned with “Al-Qaeda logos”, later revealed to be Halaal certification stickers. “I knew they were originally a pagan treat, and yes, we usually enjoy them every year around the Jewish festival of Passover,” said one shopper. “But to see all that squiggly backwards writing – it makes your blood run cold!”
Following complaints on Twitter and Facebook, Woolworths apologized and promised to offer both Halaal and non-Halaal buns in future, reassuring shoppers that it took the complaints of the religious community far more seriously than those of secular people, which was why it was still impossible to buy wine on a Sunday – a policy “ordained by God in an epistle to Paul, who then forwarded it to the South African Chamber of Commerce”.
While anti-terrorism units isolated the hot cross buns and ushered Christian shoppers out of range of their terrifying Arabic packaging, bishops specializing in the occult were called to the scene and quickly ascertained that both the regular and extra-spicy buns were definitely of demonic origin.
“We threw holy water at the Moorish buns, and sure enough, they began to hiss and writhe and babble in a language we’ve decided is probably an ancient Urdu dialect,” said leading food exorcist, Father Donut O’Really. “Or, at least, they wilted a bit. But that’s close enough.”
He also warned customers against consuming the evil buns, saying that doing so could “imperil their very mortal souls”.
Meanwhile, the liturgical division of the South African Police Service has warned shoppers to be on the lookout for other extremist foods, including macon.
Sergeant Bishop Barabbas ‘Butch’ Golgotha said that terror cells may be taking advantage of “the modern ideology of culinary multiculturalism, like fusion or sushi or any of that foreign ****” to hide in plain sight in deli counters around the country.
“For now, we have to assume that pretty much everything with a carbohydrate value over 10 percent of the recommended daily allowance is a threat to the Christian way of life,” said Golgotha. “And it goes without saying that croissants, flagrantly sporting that Islamic crescent-moon, should be considered armed and extremely dangerous until further notice.”