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AnonymousPoster

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Assalam-alaikum

Hope all of you will be doing well insha'allah.

Well... I need serious advice, my husband's always a different person, he goes on to tabligh and comes back changed for some time, stops watching tv and stuff, then after a while becomes his old self.

Well this time he's gone a bit too far, he has started smoking and stopped praying as well. Just worries me so much, he promised he'll stopped smoking yet his on them, like 10 cigerrets a day!

He knows he's doing wrong, deep down I know his got the will to be better but right now I am just so desperate, I can't stand him being like that, who can stand smokers?? And then being so religious myself, I can't stand him not praying as well

Any advices? Or verses that'll show him some light? Please any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 
Pray to make him change.. I believe reading some surahs in the hope for him to change can help...
 
PRINT OUT THE FOLLOWING AND STICK SOMEWHERE HE PASSES REGULARLY​

Strict Orders for Observance of Obligatory Salat


Allah, the Exalted, says:

"Guard strictly (the five obligatory) As-Salawat (the prayers) especially the middle Salat (i.e., the best prayer - `Asr).'' (2:238)

"But if they repent and perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat) and give Zakat, then leave their way free.'' (9:5)


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1074. Ibn Mas`ud (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I asked the Messenger of Allah (PBUH): "Which act is the best?'' He (PBUH) said, "As-Salat at their fixed times.'' I asked, "What next?'' He (PBUH) said, "Being dutiful to parents.'' I asked, "What next?'' He (PBUH) said, "Striving (Jihad) in the way of Allah.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary: This Hadith has already been mentioned. Here it is repeated to indicate that every Salat should be performed at its proper time. Deliberate delay in performing is wrong. The ultimate result of deliberate delay is that one becomes sluggish and begins to ignore and neglect it by force of habit, which is obviously very dangerous. Imam Ash-Shafi`i is of the opinion that if a person shows such laziness in offering Salat that he misses its proper time, then he is liable to make penitence for it. If he does not do so, he should be killed.
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1075. Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Islam is based on five (pillars): testifying that there is no true god except Allah and that Muhammad (PBUH) is His slave and Messenger; performing of Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat); the payment of Zakat; performing Hajj (pilgrimage) to the House [of Allah (Ka`bah)]; and Saum (fasting) during the month of Ramadan.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary: In this Hadith, Islam has been compared to a building which rests on five pillars. As a building cannot stand without its foundation, similarly, Islam cannot exist without these pillars. For this reason, he who denies any one of these obligations is a disbeliever, and he who neglects any of them due to slackness or want of attention is a sinful and impious Muslim.
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1076. Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "I have been commanded to fight against the people till they testify La ilaha illAllah (There is no true god except Allah) and that Muhammad (PBUH) is His slave and Messenger, and to establish As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), and to pay Zakat; and if they do this, then their blood and property are secured except by the rights of Islam, and their accountability is left to Allah.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary: This Hadith has already appeared before. Here the word "An-Nas'' translated `the people' in the Hadith stands for those who associate others with Allah in worship. The people of the Book are not included among them. "Haqqul-Islam'' translated here as "the rights of Islam'' denotes legal castigation, etc. That is, the punishments which are given for crimes like fornication, murder, etc.
"Their accountability is left to Allah" means what is hidden in their hearts is left to Allah or the crimes which go undetected by the authorities concerned are in the Purview of Allah, Who will decide their case in the Hereafter.
----------

1077. Mu`adh (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) sent me as a governor to Yemen and (at the time of departure) he instructed me thus: "You will go to people of the Scripture (i.e., the Jews and the Christians). First of all invite them to testify that La ilaha ill Allah (There is no true god except Allah) and that Muhammad (PBUH) is His slave and Messenger; and if they accept this, then tell them that Allah has enjoined upon them five Salat (prayers) during the day and night; and if they accept it, then tell them that Allah has made the payment of Zakat obligatory upon them. It should be collected from their rich and distributed among their poor; and if they agree to it, don't take (as a share of Zakat) the best of their properties. Beware of the supplications of the oppressed, for there is no barrier between it and Allah.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary: This Hadith has already been mentioned and is repeated here to emphasize the importance of obligations and their meticulous performance. See Hadith No. 290.
----------

1078. Jabir (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Between a man and disbelief and paganism is the abandonment of Salat (prayer).''
[Muslim].

Commentary: He who will be having the quality of Islam and will be particular in performing Salat regularly, will raise a wall between himself and Kufr. He who does not perform Salat after coming to the fold of Islam, does not have a frontier which separates him from infidelity. Leaving Salat is like demolishing the wall that separates Islam from Kufr. Thus, we learn from this Hadith that leaving Salat is Kufr. Some `Ulama' are of the opinion that this injunction is for one who believes leaving Salat is permissible whereas the one who leaves it because of slackness is not Kafir. Some scholars, however, think that if such a person does not repent, he is liable to Hadd, i.e., death punishment. There are other `Ulama' who think that rather than death punishment such a person should be subjected to corporal punishment till he starts offering Salat. This Hadith makes the importance of Salat in Islam abundantly clear.
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1079. Buraidah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "That which differentiates us from the disbelievers and hypocrites is our performance of Salat. He who abandons it, becomes a disbeliever.''
[At-Tirmidhi].

Commentary: The purport of this Hadith is the same as that of the preceding one.
----------

1080. Shaqiq bin `Abdullah reported: The Companions of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) did not consider the abandonment of any action as disbelief except neglecting Salat.
[At-Tirmidhi].

Commentary: The opinion of the Companions of the Prophet (PBUH) was based on the information contained in the Ahadith which have been mentioned above. They did not take the Ahadith which interpreted the leaving of Salat as Kufr mere scolding or reproof. They considered slackness and negligence in Salat as Kufr and apostasy and regarded Salat a symbol of Islam.
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1081. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "The first of man's deeds for which he will be called to account on the Day of Resurrection will be Salat. If it is found to be perfect, he will be safe and successful; but if it is incomplete, he will be unfortunate and a loser. If any shortcoming is found in the obligatory Salat, the Glorious and Exalted Rubb will command to see whether His slave has offered any voluntary Salat so that the obligatory Salat may be made up by it. Then the rest of his actions will be treated in the same manner.''
[At-Tirmidhi].

Commentary: The rights mentioned in this Hadith are the Rights of Allah. The first of them for which one has to render account is Salat. In the rights of people, the first to be decided will be blood shed by a person of his fellow being. This Hadith also makes the following points:
1.Stress on the performance of the obligatory acts.
2.Inducement for voluntary prayers to make up the deficiency of the obligations.




For forty years, the Adhan was never called but Sa`id bin al-Musayyab radhiallahu `anhu was in the mosque before it was called. [Tabaqat al Hanabilah 1/141, Hilyat al Awliya 2/163, Sifat as Safwah 2/80]

Umar became unconscious after he was stabbed, and according to Al Miswar bin Makhramah, it was said: "Nothing would wake him up except the call to prayer, if he is still alive." They said to him, "The prayer has finished, O Chief of the Faithful!" He woke up and said, "The prayer, by Allah! Verily, there is no share in Islam for whoever abandons the prayer." He performed the prayer while his wound was bleeding.[Sifat as Safwah 2/131, As Siyar 5/220]

After ar-Rabi` bin Khaytham became partially paralyzed, he used to go to the mosque helped by two men. He was told: "O Abu Yazid! You have been given permission to pray at home." He said, "You have said the truth, but I heard the caller herald, 'Hayya `ala al-Falah (Come to success)', and I thought that whoever hears this call should answer it even by crawling." [Hilyat al Awliya 2/113]

Adi bin Hatim (radhiAllahu `anhu) said; "Every time the prayer timefalls, it falls while I am eager for it and ready to perform it (i.e.having wudu)."[Az Zuhd by Ahmad, p. 249]

Abu Bakr bin Abdullah al Muzani said, "Who is like you, O son of Adam? Whenever you wish, you use water to make Ablution, go to the place for worship and thus enter the presence of your Lord (i.e. start praying) without a translator/barrier or a barrier between you and Him!" [Al Bidayah wa an Nihayah 9/256]

Abu Rajaa al `Ataridi, "Nothing that I leave behind grieves me, except that I used to bow down on my face five times a day before my Lord, the Exalted and Most Honored." [Hilyat al Awliya 2/306]

Abu'Al Aliyah said, "I would travel for days to meet a man and the first thing I would notice about him is his prayer. If he would establish the prayer perfectly and on time, I would stay with him and hear the knowledge he had. If I found him to be careless concerning the prayer, I would leave him and say to myself that for things other than the prayer, he would be even more careless."

When Ali bin Al Husain used to perform Wudu, his color would change. His family asked him why this happened to him every time he performed Ablution, he sid, "Do you know before Whom I am about to stand (in prayer)?"

Yazid bin Abdullah was asked, "Should we make a roof for our mosque?" He said, "Purify your hearts and your mosque will be sufficient for you." [Hilyat al Awliya 2/312]

Adi bin Hatim (radhiAllahu `anhu) said, "Ever since I became Muslim, I always made sure to have Wudu when the Adhan is called." [As Siyar 3/160]

Ubayd bin Ja`far said, "I never saw my uncle Bishr bin Masnur miss the first takbir, and whenever any person stood up in our mosque to ask people for help, my uncle gave him something." [Sifat as Safwah 3/376]Ibn Sama`ah said, "For forty years, I only missed Takbir Tahrimah (initial takbeer) when my mother died." [As Siyar 10/646]"

If you know of a man's disinterest in Takbir Tahrimah, then wash your hands of him." [As Siyar 5/65, Sifat as Safwah 3/88]

Sufyan bin `Uyaynah, "Honoring the prayer includes coming before the Iqamah is recited." [Sifat as Safwah 2/235]

Maymun bin Mahran came to the mosque late and when he was told that the people had already finished the prayer, he said, "We all belong to Allah and to Him shall be our return! I prefer the congregational prayer to being the governor of Iraq." [Mukashafat al Qulub p 364]

Yunus bin Abdullah said, "What is the matter with me? When I lose a chicken I feel concerned, but when I miss the prayer in congregation, it does not grieve me." [Hilyat al Awliya, 3/19]

Umar said, while standing on the podium, "A man might have white hair in Islam (i.e. reaches in old age while Muslim), yet has not completed even one prayer for Allah, the Exalted!" He was asked, "Why is that?" He said, "He does not perfect the prayer's required Khushu`, solemness and attending to Allah with his heart." [Al-Ihya 10/202]

Hammad bin Salamah said, "I have never stood up for prayer without imagining that Jahannam is before my eyes." [Tadhkirat al Huffadh 1/219]

Mu`adh bin Jabal advised his son, "My son! Pray the prayer of he who is just about to leave and imagine that you might not be able to prayever again. Know that the believer dies between two good deeds, one that he performed and one that he intended to perform later on." [Sifat as Safwah 1/496]

Bakr al Muzani said, "If you want your prayer to be of benefit to you, say to yourself, 'I might not have a chance to perform another prayer.'"[Jami` al `Ulum wal Hikam, p 466.]

Shubrumah said, "We accompanied Karz al Harithi on a journey. Whenever he wanted to set camp in an area, he used to scan it with his eyes and when he found a good piece of land that he liked, he would go to it and pray there until it was time to leave." [Sifat as Safwah 3/120]

Al Qasim bin Muhammad said, "Whenever I went out in the morning, I used to visit Aisha (radhiAllahu `anha) (his aunt and the wife of the Prophet, sallAlahu `alayhi wasalam) and greet her. One day I found her performing Ad Duha prayer, reciting this Ayah repeatedly, crying and invoking Allah: 'So Allah has been gracious to us, and has saved us from the torment of the Fire.' [52: 27] I stood there until I felt bored, so I left and went to the market to do something and said to myself that when I finish what I have to do, I will go back (to`Aishah radhiallahu `anha). When I finished and went back to her, I found her still standing in prayer, reciting the same Ayah, crying and invoking Allah.'" [Al Ihya 4/436]

Maymun bin Hayyan said, "I never saw Muslim bin Yasar turning his head while praying, whether the prayer was short or long. Once, a part of the mosque came down and the noise caused fear to the people who were in the market, while he was in the mosque, did not fear nor even turn his head and kept praying." [Az Zuhd by Imam Ahmad p 359]

"I accompanied `Ata bin Rabah for eighteen yers. When he became old and weak, he used to stand in prayer and read close to two hundred Ayat from Surat al Baqarah while standing in such firmness that no part of him would move." [As Siyar 5/87, Sifat as Safwah 2/213]

Abu Bakr bin Aiyash said, "If you saw Habib bin Abu Thabit while in Sujud, you would think that he had died because of his long prostration." [As Siyar 5/291]

Ali bin Al Fudayl said, "I saw ath-Thawri went into Sujud while praying, and I performed Tawaf around the House seven times before he raised his head from Sujud." [As Siyar 7/277]

Uthman bin Abi Dahrash said, "I never performed a prayer without invoking Allah afterwards to forgive me for falling into shortcomings in the way I performed it." [Tarikhu Baghdad 13/207]

Mu`awiyah bin Murrah, "I lived during the time of seventy of the Companions of Muhammad, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, and had they lived among you today, they would not recognize any of your acts except the Adhan!" [Hilyat al Awliya 2/299]

Moreover, Maymun bin Mahran said, "If a man from the Salaf was resurrected among you today, he would only recognize your Qiblah.

"When Hatim al Asamm was asked about his prayer, he said, "When it is near the time of prayer, I perform a perfect Wudu and go to where I am going to pray and sit down there until I become fully attentive to what I am about to do. I then stand up and pray, imagining that the Ka`bah is in front of my eyes, Paradise to my right, Hellfire to my left and the Angel of Death behind me. I imagine that it is the last prayer I am about to perform, stand up in hope (in Allah, His Paradise and rewards) and fear (from Allah's torment in Hellfire) and recite the Takbir while having full attention. I recite the Qur'an calmly, make Ruku` humbly, go into Sujud with Khushu1 and then sit on my left leg, with the left food laid on the floor and the right food raised up, all the while praying with sincerity. Afterwards, I do not know (nor feel certain) if that prayer was accepted from me!" [Al Ihya 1/179]

One of the Salaf said, "O son of Adam! You need your share in this life, but need your share in the Hereafter even more. If you took care of your share in this life, then you will lose your share in the Hereafter and are soon bound to lose your share in this life too. If you took care of your share in the Hereafter, you will also win your full share in this life with ease." [Fada'il adh Dhikr by ibn al Jawzi p. 19]

Talq bin Habib said, "Allah's Rights are greater than the slave's capacity and ability to fulfill them. Therefore, reach the morning in a state of repentance and reach the night in a state of repentance."

Source: Establish the Prayers...and The Prize is Paradise by Abdul Malik Al-Qasim





SOURCE: www.idawah.com/forum
Click to expand...



inshaAllaah make lots of dua for him... and me


Assalaamu Alaikum
 
Jazak'allah khair Bro IbnAbdulHakim for all the hadiths, that gave me an idea to repeat some of the things he himself told me, kind of remind him!

And Lonely gal, yes I have been praying may Allah accept my prayers, also please would you all pray for him as well. I'll have you all my prayers too insha'allah.

Also anyone know how hard is it for one to give up smoking?? Just worries me that the addiction will never come off.
 
asalam alaikum wr wb,

May Allah accept your duaas dear sis. Ameen. I will pray for you inshaAllah. Keep reminding your husband that his actions will bear him no good fruit and he cannot let that happen as he has Allah subhana wa ta'ala to face up to in the Akhirah. Remind him that his nafs is controlling him and it will lead him to self-destruction if he doesn't take control of it.

Allah knows what goes on in some tableeghi jamaats. I've seen enough people come back negatively affected in one way or another. One brother returned only to stab his own father through the chest - ya Allah! Another started acting strange and asking people if his wife is more beautiful or his mother. I know these families personally!


It might be that Islam is drummed into them so forcefully that it becomes too much to bear too soon and the actions of these people result from the unnecessary pressure they have been put under. Only Allah knows. What other explanation can there be?

Whether it is illness of the body, mind of heart, read surah Al-Fatiha and blow on your husband. You can do this when he is sleeping. Just in case in his paranoia he gets other ideas. Pray salatul Hajat and make Qiyam-al-layl (night prayer) and ask Allah subhana wa ta'ala to guide your husband and avert his heart from wrongful actions. InshaAllah ta'ala, Allah's help will be with you.


wa alaikum asalam wr wb.
 
Asalamo Alikom

my dear sister first of all you have to try your best to know the main problem with your husband then trying to solve the side problemes has produced by the main problem...

try to be closer and closer to him and by gentle and sotf-spoken words talk to him and ask him ...what is wrong ??are you ok my dear?? if anything bothering you tell me please...I am your wife and I will try my best to help you my precious husband...

try to be nice with him and give him more regarding and care he needs you so, try your best my dear sister...

and if the main problem solved all the side problems will disappear inshaa Allah...

may Allah guide us all to the right path and reward us with the paradise...

Ameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen
 
Amat Allah said:
Asalamo Alikom

my dear sister first of all you have to try your best to know the main problem with your husband then trying to solve the side problemes has produced by the main problem...

try to be closer and closer to him and by gentle and sotf-spoken words talk to him and ask him ...what is wrong ??are you ok my dear?? if anything bothering you tell me please...I am your wife and I will try my best to help you my precious husband...

try to be nice with him and give him more regarding and care he needs you so, try your best my dear sister...

and if the main problem solved all the side problems will disappear inshaa Allah...

may Allah guide us all to the right path and reward us with the paradise...

Ameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen
Click to expand...

i agree, smoking is only a symptom of the real problame, dealing with the real issue comes first sister, ask him and help him out...may Allah help you both!
 

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