would you sacrifice you passion for what your parents wanted you to do?

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Fainoz

Fainoz

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Parents deserve so much for all of the trouble they went through to raise their children, but what if they wanted you to go down a career path you didn't want to go down? would you explain to them why you don't want to do that and follow your passion, or would you make them happy, and go down a path you don't like?
 
Salam alaykum

I would follow my own career passion. I live my life, they don´t. My parents never made me kind of choice but they accapted my own career. If yours own is something else than your parents think, then be strong and do what you want to do.

:D It´s your life, not theirs.
 
Salaams,

My life has always been controlled by my parents. Daddy forced me to go to a Grammar School and made me choose a profession I didn't want to follow. I was not allowed to go to the University I wanted to it and I now do a job I hate. Why? Because Daddy had control over me. I was too young and naive back then to have followed my own heart. Besides Islam says you should follow your what your parents say unless it is haraam etc.

I'm not overly happy with my life, but it's not the be all and end all of it. Like the OP said, our parents had to go through a lot to bring us up, so it's good to make them happy. I now look after my Mom. I would love to break free and travel the world, that is one of my current passions, but my Mom is very important to me so I would rather look after her and keep her company etc that do what I want to..
 
:sl:

My parents allowed me and my siblings to choose our own life. We chose schools by ourselves, we chose careers by ourselves, we chose spouses by ourselves. The role of our parents just as advisors to tell us which the right and which the wrong. Now I do the same thing. I allow my children to choose their own life, and I take position as the advisor for them.

The child's happiness is the parent's happiness. If my children happy with the path which they choose, I would be happy too. But if I felt happy because my children choose the path that I want, might be they would not be happy if this path was not the path which they want.

:)
 
This is a hard one. Something that I have had mixed feelings about.

Ideally, it should be an open discussion. However, it is often distorted by people being fixed on things. I tried to expose my son to everything when he was pre teenager and built on it into his teens. And then he developed the liking for drumming and became very proficient at it. Good enough to jam with professionals. Then he progressed to guitar and singing. As much as he loves it, both, my wife and I make it known that it is NOT an approved plan for his future. Disappointed as he may be, he needs to have 'employable' skills to secure his future.

:peace:
 
I did.

But I would not expect Anyone else too.

...and then you have kids.
 
Anyways, my parents were happy about my career choices; businesswoman, teacher of language and my the next one, a nurse for elderly care.
 
Assalaamu alaikum Fainoz,


(smile) It's hard to discuss things with parents, sometimes. We care about them so much, but...

Personally, I feel that we are all responsible for our choices. And Allah has made each one of us unique. In the past, we had the concept of vocation. It seems to have been forgotten. Essentially, one's vocation was what God Created us to do, and that the doing of was a form of worship.

Parents often have desires of their own, that they want their children to make come true. But children are only a trust for us parents. They do not belong to us, but to God. If a child feels a calling in their hearts, then I believe that we parents should honour that calling, however strange or unwelcome it seems to us. We should guide them in how to follow their calling in a way that is respectful of Allah and His Limits. But we should not try to overlay our desires over our child's unique form of worship.

(smile) These are my thoughts that I would share with any parent who was wondering. As for a child… (smile) I would say: clear all the noise away and look deeply into your heart. Pray to Allah to help make your choice clearer to you (istikhara is best, especially in the quiet hours of the night). (smile) Don't wait for a dream, go with the flow of what feels right and good and Pleasing to Him. And when you know what this is… make steps in this direction, even if it is not universally popular. Because this will be your Islam.

Hugs, my dear.


May Allah, the Designer, Help you and your parents in your choices… that you all may reap benefits in this life, and the Next.
 
:wasalamex

An interestng discussion.

«Fainoz» said:
Parents deserve so much for all of the trouble they went through to raise their children, but what if they wanted you to go down a career path you didn't want to go down? would you explain to them why you don't want to do that and follow your passion, or would you make them happy, and go down a path you don't like?
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There is not a simple 'yes' or 'no' answer to this, because multiple factors are involved. People will advise based on their experiences and views, however, you yourself will be in the best position (with recourse to Allah's help) to decide which option to go for and where a sacrifice needs to be made. There can be many ways to follow one's passion. Options must be considered carefully with wisdom and understanding. Even when the way forward does not seem clear, keep asking Allaah :swt: and He will facilitate the best course. As above, Istikharah is one of the most important things one can do in such situations. Our trust and reliance in Allah's plan is key, such that even if we end up on a road we didn't envisage, it will still be worship with the right intention and it can still lead to happiness and success :ia:.
 
In my place, cases which parents urge their child to leave his/her career path and move to the career path that the parents want usually happen among business people families. For a businessman his company is his kingdom and he want his son (or daughter) to become the next king after he has retired. But not every businessman child want to be a businessman too. The problem could be happen when this businessman want to retired but his son still want to walk on his own career path.

One of my close friend experienced this, but he decided to follow what his parents want. He left his job and now he hold the family business.
 

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