Sister, I can empathize with you on your situation, you see I was bullied bad when I was a kid as well. People spread rumours, kids who didn’t even know me didn’t like me, and I was always at the bottom. I cried all the time and didn’t want to go to school. But when it came down to school, I remember watching this video about child labour. And there was this child forced to work in a farm for his family because they were too poor.
The kid was crying and he said his that he wished to go to school, I also heard stories about girls in Africa who didn’t have the chance to go to school because they were walking kilometres with water jugs on their heads, and had to stay home while the boys were off to school.
This reminded me why I was at school and how privileged I was as a girl to go to school. So despite the bullying I went to school with the intent in mind that I was getting an education. If you intend to become a doctor and make a good sum of money in a future career your likely going to need a high level of education and top marks. That can’t be achieved without consistent attendance and determination.
Remember the end goal, and don’t fear the past. I had many troubles making friends because of the bullying, and I became afraid to socialize, but then I just continued to be my authentic self and didn’t let the people who didn’t like me mould me, eventually I was able to go to school regularly, make friends, and the bullying subsided after a while.
Don’t be afraid to tackle your fear and achieve your goals. Have trust in allah, and realize that you still have lots of time to grow as a person. And believe me, your parents probably still love you a lot, the fact that they continued trying to help you get into different schools shows that they haven’t given up on you.
<3