Yaa Ummatul Muslimeen!

[anonymous]

As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi barakaatuh,

My fellow believers in islaam, your brother in islaam needs some advice, a sincere naseeha.
Alhamdullillaah Allaah has blessed me with everything and has been ever merciful to me. Subhaanahu.
By Allaah's grace i have memorised almost 17 juz, while doing my computer engineering, Alhamdullillaah and still continuing.
The problem is that i have strong desire for women, i try a lot to control , but after sometime i end up disobeying Allaah and feel ashamed, especially after Allaah has blessed me so much.
I told my parents that i want to get married, they said ok, but its not until my elder sisters marriage is fixed. I dont know what to do and how to proceed, feel like a 2 faced hypocrite. And these desires return again and again, i feel i have become a slave to my desires, i also fear falling in to zina. zina has become very easy. May Allaah protect all of us from this deadly sin.
Can anyone advice what should i do(practical steps that can be taken).

 

[Reflections]

AsSalaamu 3alaykum,

You should speak to your parents about it again and explain to them that you want to fulfill half your deen and save yourself from falling into sin and zina. If you can't get through to them then tell someone who your parents will listen you, maybe an uncle or an auntie or even the local Imam.

Meanwhile you should keep voluntary fasts, it will protect you and weaken your nafs from committing sins..especially in your case. Also make dua to Allah to help you through this..May Allah make it easy for you to live a halal life...allahoma ameen.

 

[Ramadhan]

As sister Bint Abi has mentioned, you can perform either monday-thursday fastings or the nabi dawud fasting (every other day) when you are not able to get married yet.
I can emphatize with you as I myself am also a single, and I do notice the difference whenever I'm fasting regularly compared to the period of weeks when I am just too lazy to fast.
I can feel I am much in control of my nafs during regular fastings, but during those other non-fasting weeks, the hormones and nafs are so much more difficult to control.
And whenever you feel can't control it, you need to do istighfar right away. We are weak creatures and we need to constantly depend on Allah SWT for strength, protection and forgiveness.