[AnonymousPoster]

I noticed their been quite few depressing post so just as an warning please dont read this if your already depressed im not gonna lie to you some of the things you are not gonna like and its not a pleasent read.
At the moment im going through very tough time where i have to make a big decision to make but the situation that im in is not helping any matters. I lost so many things I lost everything i had and may lose more I know my actions havent helped. Im in a marriage which is not going well at all my life was so much better before i got married I’m not gonna discuss why it hasent there just too much happened. I know its my fault cause before i got married thats all i cared about thats all i wanted i just thought once i get married everything will work out fine. I can start my life but as it seems its thousand times worse and i know its my fault for having that sort of mentality like they say becareful what you wish for. But that just goes to show in life whats the point of looking forward to something when at the end it will turns soar and bitter. All your life you build up hopes and dreams and it all comes crushing down.

parents or any family members are far more than being supportive call me ungreatful but thats just the way i been feeling. It seems to me all my family cares about is how the situation will affect them and how they will look in the eyes of people. But what about me what about my suffering whose coming to comfort me. does any body care that i cry my self night and day to sleep does any body I know what you guys gonna say Allah cares but how can Allah care for some one who put them self in a bad situation isnt it their mess if some one gets them self into a situation out of their own fault dont they just deserve the pain as a punishment.

I just feel so depressed that i dont even see the point of living and i hate feeling like that yes i made some mistakes and i hate my self for it and i know people will hate me and judge but hey i ruined my life already so what can any one say or do to make it any worse. Or yeah of course they can you can always trust on people to point fingers and make you feel worthless. Thats people for you they love to see you fail.

no body actually cares to think how much im hurting and how much im suffering. I mean does any body cares about my tears. I been depressed for quite a long time now in fact most half of this year i know you guys gonna say patience buit how long am i suppose to just be content do you know how hard it is getting up every morning knowing that i have fight this feeling once again all over againg. My parents see me depressed and i know it upsets them and i dont want to be the cause of their suffering but i ant help the way i feel. I read some where that we should not put our parents through pain or well get punished but im already suffereing for my actiones how much more suffering do i deserve.

I prey to Allah regularly some days i dont get to prey five times a day but i make the effort to perform my preyers but due to the way i been feeling i cant get my self to be really sincere and concentrate on my preyers somedays i do and theirs other days im just preying but i dont have the deep communication with allah.

Somedays as shame as i am to admit it i doubt my religion (astagfirullah) yes im not a very nice person at the moment no wonder im so depressed but its not like i want to feel like this but when i look around me i see so many unjust being done some people get away with the everything and anything whereas some even if they make a small mistake (im not saying me i made some big mistakes and dont i know it) they get it big time i mean i know someone who was practising and waited for a very long time to find a decent partner when they eventually they did the marriage broke in just few months now they got a name attached to them what did they do deserve that. I mean i may have done lot of bad things thats why bad things happen to me but what has a good person done to deserve such a big stigma and now they have to spend remaining of their life alone.

I worke with a lot of atheist and other religious background people which is not helping me either all around me I see people getting on with things are happy. I mean they don’t believe in god but they not bad people so everything they say I cant just ignore some of them being supportive but sometimes I feel they think that im so into my faith because of the troubles im going through. Some even believe that some people invented god in their mind to make them self people better and to rely on something or some one else. That really upsets me to think im going through all this without a purpose.

Destiny destiny destiny we don’t chose what sort of family we be born into or the type of upbringing we have all your life they bring you up in certain ways than suddenly expect you to change everything you are and be the way they want you to be like you’re their child so they have right over you to tell you what to do and how to lead your life even at the things that you have right to refuse.

Or heres another one when girls are forced into marriage at young age its not their fault their parents put them thrugh all the pain but what happens at the end the girl gets all the blame and no body wants to marry her or if they do get married again they not left with much choices cause no body wants to marry them and the society my gosh the society makes them out like they are the worst people in the world.

but yet again you see people who go out with each other and get married they have a good life yes they may have their problems but at the end they are happy.

Im not happy with my self believe me i am very disappointed in my thinking and i hate doubting my religion cause it makes me more wrestless and really doesnt give me any reason to live but thats just how i feel sometimes i am so disappointed in my self that i cant find hope in anything else or make sense of anything else.

I know you guys goona say have sabr after hardship comes an ease but isnt it just matter of accepting things whether we like it or not we just have to accept it and get on with it. Whatever happens i know im never gonna be happy i mean ovbiously what ever the outcome maybe i have to get on with it i can shout scream cry my eyes out but its not gonna change anything i cant even die cause suicide is such a sin so just have to get on with it.

yes i have done some bad things out of ignorance but i never used to be like this I always thought and been told i had good characters but now i just dont know i dounbt myself so much how can i have good characters and cause so much pain to myself and my family. I used to be a happy and liviliperson and make others feel better now i just lost so deep with in. Never mind making some one else happy i cant even bring my self up to carry on. Than again i heard some where if you laugh to much you will cry the double of that much. I guess thats what happens to people who re too weak and dont realise life for what it is. I always thought life was such a nice place if your nice to people they be nice to you back but hey guess what i just realised life doesnt work like that how silly of me. Gosh its too late for me to open my eyes now. Maybe im not such a good person as i thought or people thought maybe i am everything that i have become.

I mean in this life we go through so much hell and we have to endure hell after we die as well so whats the point of living. I know Allah must be very upset with me for all the negative thoughts that i have in me but i just dont know how to be positive and find my self again.

 

[BNDGR]

Asalam alaikum,
Wow, your right your post was sooooo depressing. I feel for you and don't know if I have any true insight to say to help you. But here goes anyway...
I am a new muslim and from my experience making your 5 daily prayers does help, but like you were saying, you really need to just pour your heart out to Allah and talk to him and ask for his help with what your going thru.
Also, I know you said you have lost so much already, but try to think of the people who are worse off that yourself, like people who have been affected by natural disasters,who have lost loved ones, and thier homes and literally everything!! No matter how bad our lives are there is always someone so much more worse off than ourselves. No food, no home, no family.
Back to you, family sometimes are not as supportive as they should be, but I'm sure they do care about your suffering. I as a stranger can hear your sadness and I don't even know you. Please find someone who you can pour your heart out to and make sincere prayer.
When your not married it seems like marriage will cure everything that's wrong in your life, but that is not they good way to look at it, it puts immense pressure on the relationship to live up to every expectation you have set. Reality is that since all of us all not perfect, chances are marriage will not always be easy. It takes the commitment and work on both people's part to make it work. and it is an ongoing thing.You have to put everything into a marriage and build and grow together and have strong faith and family values.
Try to sit down with your spouse and just lay everything out with how your feeling. If they have a heart and care about you then they will listen, try to connect with them, put all your past expectations aside and start fresh, start as if you had just met and reconnect with them.
What I have said might not at all help you, but I want you to know that people do care about your suffering!! Allah see's you suffering and wants you to lean on him. Things might not change all at once but I really beleive that it will help.
Please remember too that people of this forum are very caring and are helpful and can give you a ton more help than I can.
Take care of yourself and please don't give up!!!!!!!!!

 

[AntiKarateKid]

Dont worry dude. I used to be depressed badly when I was in junior high. Like really badly. I struggled through it and I basically am almost never remotley close to depression for more than five years now.

Allah never burdens a person with more than they can bear. You must be pretty strong for you not to have given into Shaitans whispers.

Have heart and be strong. You are struggling for yourself, and the Prophet said that the most excellent jihad is the one for yourself. So be strong and live happy.