Hi,
Am new to this - I have got major problems but got no one to turn to and now I have really come to the end, where I cannot take much more and need to explode. I have been married for over 6 months, and yes it was arranged. I just do not seem to get on with him at all, he has been here for a few months now but I just cant seem to connect with him at all. I am not attracted to him and therefore that's the biggest hurdle I cannot get over. I really really wanted my marriage to work, wanted happiness and I no looks are not everything but with the problems there I think that's where the other issues stem from. I wanted to make me parents happy but they have found out I am not happy and its caused tension between all my family and me.
I know I am to blame but dunno what to do to change things. I try really hard and just as I think we ver very slowly making little progress, he goes and does something that irritates me. He is really clingy and I've told him I need space and take things slow, he says OK. but then 2 days later hes pestering me again.
I really hate me life at the mo, i hate being at home, surrounded by people who don't like me.
I don't tell me friends cos then I they would keep askin me how I am, and i'll be a total wreck. I have a hidden life from all my frends - its horrible. I have so many emotions and feelings locked up. I dno what to do.. I need help.. Allah swt please guide me right, help me be a good muslim and wife and inshAllah one day a mother. I had so many dreams and wished, as my husband did, but nothings gone right.. What do I need to do??
guys - I want to become more Islam focused.. where do I start??
1st thing do ya salaah, next salaah is asr, make sure you doo it and do it like its your last prayer and straight after the prayer your gona die!! lol just keep that thought in your head and you will pray with so much khushoo,
alsooo get yourself or go on the net and read
Quran, hadiths and a Tafsir of Quraan, and biography of some companions!! especially Hadhrat Abu Bakr (ra) and Hadhrat Umar (ra)
Jaa-Ro-Nee-Mo!!!
"they ask you when will the help of Allah (swt) come! Certainly Allah (Swt) help is always near"
Start with the basics of Islaam inshaaAllaah. Go to your Local Mosque and try and make religious friends there, who can help you on a day to day basis. How old r u sis?
the best way to start is to read about the beautiful sahabi's and tabieen etc (companions of the prophet) because that puts love for them in your heart and makes you want to be like them.
sis the best thing to do is be patient and pray for allah..and not only you encourge him to pray aswell to wish both of ya to come together wid sucess.inshallah
DATS HOW OLD I AM!! O ma gunis.! I can never imagine bein in dat position, jus thinkin of marriage alone scares the livin daylights outta me. I really feel for ya sis, I reali do. Ya so young sis, n sounds like u given up hope after such a short tym of bein wit the guy. Y didnt you get to know the guy before you got married to him? Maybe then you could have come to a decision about whether you wanted to be with him. BUT no point ponderin over the whys and whats, what you gta do sis is try and make it work. Im a paki n I assume you are 2. So belieev you me, I KNOW how paki familys work (wel the majority of them). Dont even THINK about divorce cos sounds to me like you aint even given the guy a chance. I know LOADS of ppl hu get married bak home, are not happy 2 begin wid n then mashaAllah there cums a point when they are so happyyyyyy. Think about it from his perspective- how he must be feelin. He left his WHOLE FAMILY, HIS LIFE bak home 2 cum 2 england and be wit you. now DAT is not easy i tel ya. Looks aint everythin hun, tho me too likes a hunk n dat . But seriously, try and make this relationship work hun cos sounds to me you aint even tryin, no offence. i hope things get better 4 u sis Xx
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salam sis. if you dont mind me askin did you do istikhara beore you got married. personally i think you and your husband should go away for a few days, where there is no family. in that way you wont know anyone else and will be forced to speak to one another and inshallah you never know find out so much that will help both of you understand each other. i think divorce nowaadays is considered to quickly, giv it 100% because no offence from what i have read you dont seem to be trying to hard. inshallah sis your in my duas and may allah help you!
“The believers in their mutual kindness, compassion and sympathy are just like one body. When one of the limbs is afflicted, the whole body responds to it with sleeplessness and fever”.
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. But seriously, try and make this relationship work hun cos sounds to me you aint even tryin, no offence. i hope things get better 4 u sis Xx
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